分析的是不是很经典啊！
我想如果大家看完Lie to me《别对我撒谎》后，都练就一身识别谎言的本领后。首先是自己再来不敢说谎了！而下面这组关于Lie的谎言统计数据也需要重新做一翻统计了！
Lie to me 《别对我撒谎》之人之常“情”
先来看看一组人之常“情”的表情分析。
分析的是不是很经典啊！
我想如果大家看完Lie to me《别对我撒谎》后，都练就一身识别谎言的本领后。首先是自己再来不敢说谎了！而下面这组关于Lie的谎言统计数据也需要重新做一翻统计了！
分析的是不是很经典啊！
我想如果大家看完Lie to me《别对我撒谎》后，都练就一身识别谎言的本领后。首先是自己再来不敢说谎了！而下面这组关于Lie的谎言统计数据也需要重新做一翻统计了！
Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》S1英文剧本上传完
经过一周时间的努力，终于将Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第一季的所有英文剧本上完。大家现在可以通过右边“最佳英文剧本”标签下的“绝望的主妇S1英文剧本(全)”来进行在线阅读所有英文，也可以到“Desperate Housewives All Episode TranScripts”下，浏览《绝望的主妇》所有剧本的链接，进行阅读。晚些时间，我将整理其PDF格式（注：其将为珍藏版，我会再排版与校对）的再上传给大家分享！请大家加以关注，或留下Email，到时我通知大家！帖子的其余部分
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 1X23（英文剧本/free scripts)
1X23 - ONE WONDERFUL DAY
ORIGINAL AIRDATE : Mon, May 22th, 2005 @ 10pm (ABC)
WRITTEN BY KEVIN MURPHY, TOMP SPEZIALY, MARC CHERRY, JOHN PARDEE & JOEY MURPHY
DIRECTED BY LARRY SHAW
==========================
TRANSCRIPT:
==========================
Mary Alice’s House
On a table is a picture of Mary Alice, Bree, Susan, Gabrielle and Lynette hugging and smiling.
"My name is Mary Alice Young, and before I died, my life was filled with love, laughter, friendship, and, sadly, secrets."
Cut to Mary Alice exiting her front door, taking out the trash.
"The secrets had begun fifteen years earlier when my name was Angela Forrest, and I was living a life of quiet desperation."
Cut to Mary Alice serving breakfast to Paul, who is pouring orange juice while sitting at the dining room table.
"I'd feel it every morning as I made breakfast for my husband."
Paul: "If you could stop by the market today, that would be great. I'm out of shaving cream."
Cut to Mary Alice in the supermarket parking lot.
"And during the errands I ran in the afternoons."
With a supermarket apron on, a bag boy loads groceries into Mary Alice’s car. She hands a tip to him.
Bag Boy: "So Friday's double coupon day. You'll save a bunch if you come on Fridays."
"Even at my work every evening."
Cut to Mary Alice at the hospital. She approaches the nurse’s station with a file folder. A younger Felicia Tilman is talking to a nurse who is looking at a calendar at the desk.
.Nurse: "What a lovely calendar. Was this taken around here?"
Felicia: "Oh, no. That's way out in Fairview. I have family there. Isn't it idyllic?"
Mary Alice begins putting files away. Felicia hands her another file.
Felicia: "Here, Angela. You can file this."
Mary Alice: "Oh."
"To me, each day was gray and meaningless. And then one night, suddenly..."
Cut to Mary Alice taking out the trash. A young woman approaches in the dark, carrying a baby.
Deirdre: "Hey, Angela."
"There was color."
Mary Alice: "Deirdre. What are you doing here?"
Deirdre: "I need some money."
Later, Deirdre looks around Paul and Mary Alice's living room, holding her baby. Paul stands off to the side and Mary Alice brings a glass of water to Deirdre.
Mary Alice: "Deirdre, here."
The baby begins whimpering. Deirdre drinks the water quickly and hands the glass back to Mary Alice. She keeps her reddened eyes averted.
Mary Alice: "You're using again, aren't you?"
Deirdre: "No, I just, um, I just got to get some food for my baby and some other stuff."
Mary Alice: "Well, if the baby's hungry, we can go to the market and I'll buy food."
Deirdre: "I-I can shop for my own baby, okay?"
The baby begins to fret.
Deirdre: "Quiet! I can't think. See this watch? It's worth a lot. I'll give it to you for fifty bucks."
Paul: "She's not giving you money."
Deirdre: "Do you mind? Angela, you're the only one at rehab who treated me like a person. Okay, please, please don't stop now."
Mary Alice: "I'm sorry."
Mary Alice walks to the front door and opens it.
Deirdre: "I'll sell you my baby!"
Mary Alice: "What?"
Deirdre: "I heard you talking and I know you can't have your own. It's been killing you."
Paul: "It's time that you left."
Deirdre: "No, I, I'm thinking about Dana. You'll give him a good home. Okay? He'll be better off. Okay? Shh. Quiet. Quiet!"
Paul: "Honey!"
Mary Alice holds up her hand to silence Paul.
Deirdre: "How much money do you keep in the house? "
The baby continues to cry. Mary Alice slowly closes the front door.
CUT TO:
Clinic
Paramedics roll in a gurney carrying an unconscious Deirdre.
Felicia: "She has a ten-month-old baby. Where the hell is it?"
Policeman: "I don't know. If we'd seen a kid, we certainly wouldn't have left it sitting in the middle of a crack house."
Felicia: "If anything happens to that child, I will have your badge."
Mary Alice stands close by, listening to the conversation.
Policeman: "Just let me do my job, huh? We'll post an Officer at the junkie's bedside. If she wakes up, we'll let her tell us where she left her kid."
Deirdre's gurney is rolled out the room. Mary Alice's eyes focus on the calendar hanging at the nurse’s station. She looks at the picture of a group of houses in the town of Fairview.
CUT TO:
Mary Alice's House
A realtor comes out of the house, greeting Paul, Mary Alice, and young Dana.
Realtor: "I really do hope you folks will be happy here in Fairview.
Paul: "Thank you."
"And we were."
Mary Alice: "Wave bye, Zach. Wave bye-bye."
"We were as happy as any family could be."
Mary Alice and Paul smile at each other, then enter their new home.
"Until one night three years later..."
Hand knocking on the door late at night.
"When there was a knock at our door and I was desperate once again."
Mary Alice opens the front door. Deirdre is standing there.
CUT TO:
CREDITS
CUT TO:
Wisteria Lane, Nighttime
"It was five o'clock in the morning on Wisteria Lane when the phone calls started."
CUT TO:
Susan's House
The telephone rings. Susan rolls over in bed to pick up the phone.
"Of course, each of them knew something was wrong from that first ring."
Susan: "Hello?"
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
The telephone rings.
"After all, it's one of the unwritten rules of suburbia..."
Lynette wakes and grabs the phone.
Lynette: "Hello?"
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House
The telephone rings.
"...don't call the neighbors in the middle of the night..."
Telephone ringing. Gabrielle grabs the phone.
"...unless the news is bad."
Gabrielle: "Hello?"
CUT TO:
Hospital
"And so they came with their uncombed hair and their unmade faces. They came because after all these years..."
Susan, Lynette and Gabrielle exit the hospital elevator, walking quickly. They come to a waiting room where Bree is sitting there alone.
Susan: "Bree."
"They were no longer just neighbors."
Susan, Lynette ,and Gabrielle go Bree and sit with her.
Bree: "Hi. What are you doing here?"
Susan: "We heard Rex had a heart attack. How is he?"
Bree: "Um, he's stable, but, um, they have to put in a pacemaker, so they're gonna need to operate. How did you guys know?"
Gabrielle: "Danielle called."
Lynette: "So how are you doing?"
Bree: "We were having a fight when he had the heart attack, and I'm just feeling really guilty, because I should have gotten him here sooner and - "
Gabrielle: "Honey, the doctors here are great!"
Lynette: "Yeah, and he's so young, he's gonna bounce right back."
Susan: "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."
Bree: "You know what? I am so happy that you guys came here, I really am, but I am trying really hard to be strong, so if you keep comforting me..."
Lynette: "You're gonna lose it?"
Bree: "Mm-hmm."
Gabrielle: "Then we won't comfort."
Bree: "Thank you."
Gabrielle: "We're just gonna talk about non-crisis things."
Susan: "Oh, I know. Uh, I found Mrs. Huber's journal in some of Mike's stuff, and I think she knew Mary Alice's secret and was blackmailing her."
Bree, Gabrielle and Lynette look at her.
Lynette: "Yep, that'll do it."
CUT TO:
Outside Felicia's House
Zach walks quickly out the front door, Felicia right behind him.
Felicia: "Zachary! Come back here, please."
Zach goes to his own house, slams the door and runs up the stairs. He is carrying a suitcase and heads up the stairs. Felicia enters after him.
Felicia: "Your father told you he would be gone for a while. He said you should let me look after you."
Zach: "I will be fine by myself. I am not a child."
Zach continues upstairs, goes to his room, and lays down on his bed. Felicia enters.
Felicia: "I know you're not a child, but I think we should discuss this."
Felicia sits on the bed next to Zach.
Zach: "I'm fine, really."
Felicia: "Why should you fend for yourself when you can just come home with me? Let me shoulder the burden. It would really be my pleasure-"
Felicia reaches to brush Zach’s hair back. Zach pushes her away and jumps up from the bed. Felicia jumps back.
Zach: "Stop! What kind of freak are you? Just leave me alone, all right? You are not my mother! I told you that I am fine. Now stop acting like my mother and go home."
Felicia: "I wish it were that easy, Zachary, for your sake, but it's not. Your father's not coming back."
Zach: "He said that he was."
Felicia: "He lied. I wanted to spare you this, but your father and I discussed it, and he decided that he shouldn't come back. Now, get your bag and let's go home. I'm gonna make you some pudding."
Felicia walks out of the room. She starts down the stairs and as she reaches the bottom, Zach runs after her, holding a hockey stick.
Zach: "What did you do to my dad?"
He swings the hockey stick at her.
CUT TO:
Outside Paul's House
From the Young's front lawn, the sounds of someone being struck over and over can be heard.
Zach: "Tell me!"
CUT TO:
Mrs. Applewhite's House
The new neighbor, Mrs. Applewhite, comes out onto the porch carrying a sewing basket. Edie approaches.
Edie: "Mrs. Applewhite?"
Mrs. Applewhite: "Yes?"
Edie: "Hi. I'm Edie Britt. The realtor that helped you buy this house?"
Mrs. Applewhite: "Oh, of course. Hi."
Edie: "Hi. I've been so curious to meet you."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Really? Why?"
Edie: "It's just that I've never sold a house over the phone before."
A young man comes out the front door and closes the door behind him.
Edie: "You were awfully brave, buying the place sight unseen."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Not really. We could tell from the advertisement it was just what we were looking for. This is my son Matthew."
Matthew approaches and reaches to shake Edie’s hand.
Matthew: "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."
Edie: "Please. Call me Edie. Ma'am's for middle-aged women."
Edie looks over a bush and points to Susan across the way who's putting trash in her trash can.
Edie: "...like her. You can call her ma'am anytime you want. So are you two finding everything okay? Because we didn't do our realtor's walk-through."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Everything is fine."
Edie: "Oh, honey. Escrow's closed. Now I can show you where to put the buckets when the rain comes."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Edie. The house is fine. But how lovely of you to stop by."
Edie: "Okay. Here is my card. Call anytime you want. Bye."
Matthew and his mother watch Edie walk to her car.
Matthew: "People are very friendly in this neighborhood."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Yes. Yes, they are."
CUT TO:
Susan's House
Susan paces while on the phone. She is holding Mrs. Huber’s journal.
Susan: "Mike, Hi, sweetie. I hope the job's going well. Um, so I hope you're not mad, but I found Mrs. Huber's journal in your truck, and, well, I couldn't exactly not read it, so I did, and, um, I know all about the blackmail, so call me. We'll talk. Love you. Bye."
Later, Susan is on the phone again.
Susan: "I haven't heard back, and I was getting a little concerned. The girls and I were talking, and, we think that maybe Paul Young killed Mrs. Huber, and if he did, then maybe he killed your old girlfriend, too, so we should really talk about this so call me. I love you. Bye."
Later, Susan is on the phone again.
Susan: "I thought the whole point of having a cell phone was so someone could reach you when they needed to talk. How can we move forward as a couple if you won't communicate with me? Mike, I need you to call me back! I mean it! Love you. Bye."
Later, Susan is on the phone again.
Susan: "I am so sorry for that last phone call. Um, let's just say it was the worry talking. I just really need to talk to you, and-"
There's a small chirping sound coming from the phone.
Susan: "Can you hang on? I got another call. Hello?"
Mike: "Hey, it's me."
Susan: "Oh, my God. Where have you been?"
Mike: "Uh, the reception's pretty lousy up here, but I got your messages."
Susan: "Well, I'm really sorry for that last message. I was just, uh..."
Mike: "Stressed out?"
Susan: "Yes. Let's call it stressed out. Uh, so how did you get Martha Huber's journal?"
Mike: "Oh, um, her sister, Mrs. Tilman, gave it to me. She was helping me with my search."
Susan: "I just really think we need to give it to the police."
Mike: "Uh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely."
Susan: "Really?"
Mike: "Sure. Yeah. As soon as I get through with this job, we'll make an appointment with that detective, what's his name, uh, Copeland."
Susan: "Great. That's great."
Mike: "All right, so I'll, uh, see you in a few hours."
Susan: "Okay. Hurry, though. I just have a feeling that Paul Young is in the middle of all of this."
Mike: "Well, let's not rush to judgment."
Mike hangs up. He’s in his truck and turns to look at the back seat, where Paul Young is tied up with tape over his mouth. Mike drives off into the mountains.
CUT TO:
Courtroom Waiting Room
Carlos is sitting in a chair wearing an orange jump suit with handcuffs on. Gabrielle enters carrying a suit.
Carlos: "What are you doing here?"
Gabrielle: "I'm here to testify for you, Carlos. Can you take those off?"
Policeman (unlocks Carlos' handcuffs): "Yes, ma'am."
Gabrielle: "There's no way I'm dressing him."
Carlos: "Gabby, thank god you're doing this. Beating up a second gay guy? It looks bad."
Gabrielle: "Yes, well, Carlos, in some circles, beating people up at all is frowned upon."
Carlos: "So why'd you change your mind?"
Gabrielle: "Well, I'm about to be the mother of your child, which means a lot of responsibility and little time for myself. So if I'm gonna get you out of this mess, you have to reciprocate."
Carlos: "Okay."
Gabrielle: "When the baby cries in the middle of the night, you're gonna get up without saying one word. Doctors' appointments: you're driving. I'm not putting a car seat in my Maserati. And you will also be on bottle duty. That means washing, sterilizing, and filling. That way I'll have some semblance of a life, and then maybe I won't hate you so much."
Gabrielle tightens Carlos’ tie. He winces. She fixes his collar.
Gabrielle: "All right, there we go. So we're good? See you in court."
Gabrielle begins walking out.
Carlos: "Hey, Gabby? Aren't we breast feeding?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, honey, if you can swing that one, more power to you."
Gabrielle leaves the room.
CUT TO:
Pizza Place
Inside a children’s Pizza Parlor. Lynette and Parker enter, with Lynette pushing the stroller.
Parker: "Can I buy my own pizza?"
Lynette: "Uh, you can, honey, If you can pay for it."
Lynette hears cheering and yelling. She looks over to the game area and sees Tom playing air hockey with a bunch of kids.
Tom: "Yeah, that is nineteen, nineteen, nineteen-zip. Bring it."
Lynette: "Just stay here with Penny for a second, okay?"
Lynette walks into the game room and approaches Tom.
Lynette: "Tom?"
Tom: "Yes! In your face! That is twenty-zip game, out!"
Lynette: "Tom, what are you doing?"
Tom: "I'm playing air hockey. What's it look like? Kevin, you're up."
Lynette: "Well, it's the middle of the day, and shouldn't you be at work?"
Tom: "Mm, no. I quit."
Lynette: "You did not."
Tom: "Yes. Yesterday. I told Peterson he could stick it. Boom! You're not bringing it, Kevin! Bring it!"
Lynette: "Could you talk to me for a second? I don't understand."
Tom: "What? You asked Peterson's wife to make sure he wouldn't promote me. So he gives a huge promotion to Annabel, so I quit. What don't you understand?"
Lynette: "Okay. Okay. Could we go home and talk about this, please?"
Tom: "No, we can't. Serve it up, meat."
Lynette: "You're just gonna stay here and play games all day?"
Tom: "No, I'm gonna go and get some ice cream, and then I'm gonna go up to the lake, maybe rent a boat, do whatever it is I feel like -- God!"
Boy: "Gotcha!"
Lynette: "Tom."
Tom: "Go home, Lynette. Go home before I say something I regret. Go home."
Lynette walks away.
Tom: "All right, you. You score this next point, you get your bike back."
CUT TO:
Hospital Room
Bree is sitting beside Rex who is attached to various monitors. Rex opens his eyes and looks over at Bree.
Rex: "What are you thinking about?"
Bree: "Oh, I was just, um, thinking that I need to start, uh, spring cleaning."
Rex: "You haven't done that yet?"
Bree: "No, and I need to clean out our rain gutters, and, uh, beneath the refrigerator, and I can't tell you how long it's been since I've replaced the shelf liner, so..."
Rex: "Then you'll finish off with our wedding silver."
Bree: "How did you know that?"
Rex: "See, all those years, you didn't think I was paying attention. But I was."
Bree: "And do you know why I save it for last?"
Rex: "No."
Bree: "Because it makes me think of my Aunt Fern. On the day we got married, I told her how happy I was, and she told me that even during bad times to always remember that the best was yet to come. And so as I polish it, I think about you and the kids and our life and how right she was."
Rex: "They're gonna operate on me."
Bree: "I know."
Rex: "I wanna say some stuff just in case."
Bree: "Rex, you don't have to say anything."
Rex: "I'm sorry for everything I did. The moving out, the infidelity, the sex stuff..."
Bree: "It doesn't matter. From here on in, can we just say that we're even?"
Rex reaches for Bree’s hand. Bree clasps his hand.
Rex: "Okay."
Bree: "Thanks."
Bree sits on the bed next to Rex and tenderly touches his face.
Bree: "And for the record, you are gonna come through this operation just fine."
Rex: "How can you be so sure?"
Bree: "Because I told you: the best is yet to come."
Bree kisses Rex. She places her head on his chest and Rex puts his arm around her.
CUT TO:
Outside Susan's House
Susan, Julie, and Karl come out. Karl is holding Julie’s suitcase.
Julie: "So I'll see you Sunday. Don't forget to feed Bongo."
Susan: "Oh, thanks. I'll go do that now."
Karl: "Go on in the car, sweetie. I have to talk to your mom real quick."
Julie gets into her father’s car.
Karl: "So you're gonna go live in sin with the plumber slash ex-con?"
Susan: "It's funny you should mention sin. I think adultery still falls in that category."
Karl: "I, I don't like the idea of this guy being around Julie twenty-four seven."
Susan: "He's a good person."
Julie: "Mike's cool, dad. He cares about us a lot, and I like having him around. So don't mess this up."
Susan: "You heard the girl."
Karl: "He's still a plumber."
Karl get into his car and drives away. Julie waves goodbye. Susan goes across the street to Mike’s house.
CUT TO:
Mike's House
She enters the darkened house with a key. Bongo begins barking and growling.
Susan: "Now, you be a good boy, Bongo, or you're gonna go to bed hungry."
Susan goes into the kitchen. Zach comes out from behind a wall. Susan turns and sees Zach. He has a gun in his hand.
Zach: "Hi, Ms. Mayer. Can you sit down, please?"
Susan is sitting at the dining room table. Zach is sitting across from her with the gun on the arm of the chair. Susan looks into the kitchen and sees a block with knives on the counter. She looks around the room. She sees a tall vase and part of a moose horn. She begins standing up.
Susan: "I'm just gonna go get some water."
Zach: "I'd rather you didn't."
Susan slowly sits back down as Zach keeps his gun trained on her. Edie walks up Mike’s porch. She knocks.
Zach: "Don't answer it.
Zach gets behind the door where it’s dark and peeks out. Edie looks through the window and sees Susan quietly sitting there.
Edie: "I know you're in there, Susan. I can see you. If you don't want to talk to me, fine. At least have the courtesy to hide."
Edie begins to knock louder. Susan looks at Zach as though saying, "what should I do?"
Zach: "All right, but don't let her in."
Susan gets up and opens the door a crack. Zach is standing behind the door holding the gun on her.
Susan: "Edie, what a pleasant surprise."
Edie: "Right. Is Mike home?"
Susan: "Uh, no, he's on a big plumbing job. What's up?"
Edie: "Can I come in?"
Susan: "Why?"
Edie: "I'm warning all the neighbors. Felicia Tilman was attacked."
Susan: "She was?"
Edie: "At the Young house. They just took her away an ambulance. I'm totally freaked out. My guys haven't shown up at the job site yet. I'm over there all alone, so do you think maybe I could just come in and hang out for a while?"
Susan mouths "Zach is sticking a gun at me" to Edie, but Edie misunderstands.
Edie: "Stick it up my what?"
Susan: "Just get the hell out of here."
Edie: "God, you are such a bitch."
Susan slams the door on Edie. She faces Zach who continues holding the gun on her.
Susan: "Why?"
Zach: "I asked Mrs. Tilman to tell me the truth about my father. She did."
Susan: "What'd she say?"
Zach: "Mr. Delfino took my dad away to kill him. Now I'm gonna kill Mr. Delfino."
CUT TO:
Courtroom
Gabrielle is on the stand.
Gabrielle: "Your Honor, this whole mess is just a result of my loneliness. My marriage is a bit strained, and after Carlos was convicted-"
Judge: "No one's been convicted yet, Mrs. Solis. This is just a Grand Jury hearing."
Gabrielle: "Oh, no, no, I'm talking about his other crime."
Judge: "Oh, right. Go ahead."
Gabrielle: "Anyway, he was placed under house arrest, and he being the jealous man that he is, got a little crazy every time I left the house."
The courtroom is filled. Justin, with a bruised face, is sitting in the back. Also in the courtroom is the cable guy Carlos previously attacked.
Gabrielle: "He knows how men look at me, and, well, I, I didn't exactly ease his mind. I falsely led him to believe I was having an affair. And, and before Carlos's house arrest, he was always working, and he was never with me. And I thought that maybe if he believed I was having an affair, he would realize he loved me. And I know it sounds stupid, I do. I just-"
Prosecution Attorney: "Is there a point to this?"
Gabrielle: "My point is that Carlos is an angry, jealous Neanderthal. But he's not a gay-basher."
Judge: "All right. I've heard enough. Counsel, approach."
Holding his hand over the microphone, the judge speaks with the attorneys.
Judge: "I've got to be honest, I don't think we have a hate crime here."
Gabrielle, listening intently, turns to Carlos and nods encouragingly at him. Just then, John enters the courtroom. As the judge and attorneys continue talking, John approaches Carlos from behind. Gabrielle watches in horror as John leans to whisper into Carlos’ ear.
John: "Just so you know, you beat up the wrong guy. Didn't you think it was strange that you had the only lawn on Wisteria Lane that needed to be mowed three times a week?"
He claps Carlos on the back and gives Gabrielle a brief fierce stare before walking off.
Carlos slowly turns his head to look at Gabrielle. Her eyes widen and Carlos turns his body to look at where John is standing directly behind Justin.
Carlos: "You are so dead! You are so dead. You are dead!"
Carlos jumps over the barrier and runs toward John. Judge pounds the gavel.
Judge: "Order!"
Gabrielle: "Aaah. Carlos!"
Attorney: "He’s doing it again!"
Lady: "He’s going after the gay guy!"
Carlos runs toward John but Justin is in his way. He knocks Justin down.
Cable Guy: "Hey, for God’s sakes. Somebody stop him!"
Guard: "Get off of him!"
Gabrielle: "Stop it!"
Guards pull Carlos up. John stares at Carlos with hate in his eyes. Carlos yells at John.
Carlos: "I'll kill you! Te voy a matar! I am going to kill you!"
The guards pull Carlos out of the room.
Judge: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please be seated. We will have order!"
Everyone sits down. Gabrielle looks at John who has a very smug look on his face.
CUT TO:
Desert
Mike drives his truck up to a very deserted area. He gets out and opens the back door.
Mike: "Get out."
Mike pulls Paul out of the back. He pulls the tape off Paul’s mouth. Paul’s hands are tied behind his back. Mike takes a shovel out of the truck.
Paul: "I'm not trying to justify anything. I don't know how you knew Martha Huber, but she ruined lives. For fun. She destroyed my family."
Mike: "This isn't about her."
Paul: "I don't understand."
Mike: "Walk."
Mike pushes Paul and they begin walking.
CUT TO:
Hospital Room
Rex's doctor, Dr. Craig, is looking at Rex's chart.
Dr. Craig: "Remember when we first tested you, your potassium level was bit high."
Rex: "Yes. You made me stop eating bananas.
Dr. Craig: "But as we've continued testing, it's kept climbing. We've now run an entire battery of tests, and your kidney function is fine. It has to be something you're ingesting."
Rex: "Let me see. These numbers can't be right."
Dr. Craig: "Who prepares your meals?"
Rex: "Bree."
Dr. Craig: "I understand you've been having some marital problems."
Rex: "All right, wait a minute."
Dr. Craig: "Wasn't there also an incident at a salad bar? She gave you onions when she knew you were allergic."
Rex: "That was an accident."
Dr. Craig: "You're getting this potassium from somewhere."
Rex: "Get out."
Dr. Craig: "Rex."
Rex: "I mean it. Get out. Leave the chart. I want to read it."
Dr. Craig leaves the room. Rex begins reading his chart.
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
Tom comes in. He sits at the table across from Lynette.
Lynette: "So, did you have a fun day?"
Tom: "As a matter of fact, I did. I probably had the most fun that I have had in a long time."
Lynette: "You know, I didn't tell you to quit."
Tom: "No. No, no, no. No, you made damn sure that I'd go nowhere for the next twenty years."
Lynette: "I don't know what to say."
Tom: "I hear "please forgive me" is popular."
Lynette: "Yes, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. But I was trying to protect our family. If you got a promotion, we never would have seen you. You would have been traveling all the - "
Tom: "Lynette, Lynette, Lynette, you're right. You're right. You're right. That promotion would have just killed us, so this is gonna all work out."
Lynette: "What does that mean?"
Tom: "It means that I can use the break."
Lynette: "Oh, well, yeah. I think it would be good for you to take some time off."
Tom: "No, not some time. Full time. I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad."
Lynette: "Huh?"
Tom: "What the heck? You earn the living for a while."
Lynette: "Tom, that's...crazy."
Tom: "Why? Why is it crazy? You and I both know that you're better at the ad game, and you tell me all the time how hard it is to be a mom."
Lynette: "Well, yes, yes, it is hard, but I, I love it, too, and I've been doing it for six years, and I haven't complained the entire time."
Tom: "Fair enough. Fair enough. But be honest. Secretly, you miss the ad game, don't you? I mean, you miss the pressure and the deadlines and the, the power lunches. Or am I wrong? Maybe, maybe you want to sort dirty socks the rest of your life."
Lynette: "We should talk about this seriously before we make any rash decisions."
Tom: "I already made the decision. You're going back to work."
Tom gets up and goes upstairs.
CUT TO:
Mike's House
Susan is sitting on the stairs. Zach is sitting on the floor next to Bongo.
Susan: "Can I at least get you something to eat, Zach?"
Zach: "You can get me a soda. Thanks."
Susan gets up and walks toward the kitchen. Zach gets up behind her. Susan goes to the refrigerator.
Susan: "I gotta say, I think you're making a mistake. Mike couldn't kill anybody. I mean, this could just be a misunderstanding."
Susan hands Zach a soda she has opened for him.
Zach: "This is not a misunderstanding."
Susan: "Listen, I know you're upset, but is this really what you think your mother would want you doing?"
Zach: "Probably not."
Susan: "Exactly. Because she raised you right. Look you have been through a lot. you've lost your mom. you're still carrying around the guilt over what happened to your baby sister."
Zach: "I never had a baby sister!"
Susan: "Honey, I know about Dana."
Zach: "How stupid are you? I'm Dana. My mother was some junkie. They stole me and changed my name. They have been lying to me my entire life. Everyone lies to me! My mother! My father! Mrs. Tilman! Even Julie. Do you understand how much that hurts?"
Susan: "Look, Zach. I know you're upset. Let’s just, let's just sit down and talk."
Zach: "Why! So you can lie to me also?"
He points the gun at her and she puts her hand up as though pleading for Zach to stop.
Zach: "No more talking."
Susan nods and Zach points the gun downward.
CUT TO:
Hospital Room
Rex closes his chart. He breathes heavily as he grabs a pen and paper and begins to write, "Bree, I understand and I forgive you."
CUT TO:
Bree's House
Bree is polishing silver when the phone rings.
Bree: "Hello?"
Dr. Craig: "Bree, it's Dr. Craig. I'm at the hospital, and I'm afraid I have some bad news."
Bree: "Oh?"
Dr. Craig: "Rex passed away about ten minutes ago."
Bree: "But his operation, it's not until tomorrow."
Dr. Craig: "I know. He just didn't make it. I'm so sorry. We did everything we could. Bree?"
Bree: "Yes, of course you did. Thank you very much for calling."
Bree slowly hangs up the phone. She walks into the dining room and finishes polishing the silver. She closes the box and puts it on the shelf. She walks to the table and straightens the tablecloth. She sits down and, looking at the empty chair across the table from her, begins to sob.
The camera slowly pans over to a photograph of Bree and Rex on their wedding day.
CUT TO:
Desert
Paul and Mike continue walking.
Paul: "This is a long way to go to do what you could have done in my backyard. You're kind of taking your time, walking a lot. You sure you know what you're doing? You ever actually had to kill anyone for real before?"
Mike: "Yeah."
Paul: "Oh."
Mike: "But since you're so tired of walking, let's just do this here."
Mike pushes Paul to his knees. He pulls out a gun and points it at Paul
Paul: "I don't expect any favors from you, obviously. But could you at least do me the courtesy of telling me why we're here?"
Mike pulls out a photograph of him and Deirdre and tosses on the ground in front of Paul.
Paul: "You knew Deirdre?"
Mike: "Yeah. And I know what you did to her. She was just a sad girl with a lot of problems, and she did some terrible, crazy, selfish stuff, but you tell me what she ever could have done to deserve death at the hands of somebody like you."
Paul: "It's complicated. It's, uh, complicated."
"And just like that, my husband began sharing my secrets."
CUT TO:
Mary Alice's House
Flashback to when Mary Alice was alive. Mary Alice cut up some vegetables.
Mary Alice: "You want some carrots, Zachary?"
"Secrets I had died to protect."
She carries the carrots into the dining room.
Mary Alice: "There you go. We have to get that fence up in the backyard before the pool’s finished."
Paul: "I know."
Mary Alice: "I'm serious. You know how kids are drawn to water."
She continues cutting up vegetables when there's a knocking at the door. She goes to answer the door, opens it, and finds Deirdre standing there.
Deirdre: "Hello, Angela."
Later, Deirdre sits in the living room across from Paul and Mary Alice.
Deirdre: "You did a good job covering your tracks. I had to spend a lot of my father's money hunting you down."
Mary Alice: "Congratulations. You found us."
Deirdre: "You know, I never told the police what happened."
Paul: "You didn't?"
Deirdre: "They would have put Dana in foster care, or worse, given him to my father. So I kept our little secret."
Mary Alice: "Well, we appreciate that."
Deirdre: "Anyway, I guess you can see I've gotten myself cleaned up."
Mary Alice: "Yes, you look lovely."
Deirdre: "I'm not the same person you knew back then, Angela. I'm in a good place now."
Mary Alice: "You can't have him."
Deirdre: "Just because I didn't go to the police before doesn't mean I can't do it now."
Mary Alice stands up.
Mary Alice: "Zach is our son."
Deirdre: "His name is Dana."
Mary Alice: "If you think I'm giving my baby to some junkie, you're crazy."
Deirdre: "He's not your baby."
Paul: "Look, just calm down."
Deirdre: "You were always so high and mighty back at the clinic, looking down on us poor degenerates, pretending you wanted to help when all you really wanted was to feel superior. You self-righteous bitch."
Mary Alice: "You're still using, aren't you?"
Deirdre: "Go to hell."
Mary Alice grabs Deirdre’s arm. Deirdre tries to pull away.
Deirdre: "What are you doing?"
Mary Alice: "Let me see your arm."
Deirdre: "I said I'm clean!"
Paul steps in the separate them.
Paul: "Take it easy. Let's just take it easy."
Deirdre begins to go to the stairs.
Mary Alice: "Where do you think you're going?"
Deirdre: "I'm getting my son, and I'm taking him home."
Mary Alice: "Paul, stop her."
Paul runs after her and grabs her.
Paul: "Deirdre, please."
He pushes her back to living room and she falls on the floor.
Paul: "Come on. Sit down. Sit down."
Deirdre: "Get your hands off me!"
Mary Alice: "We raised him. We're his parents."
Paul: "Come on. Come on.
Deirdre grabs the poker from the fireplace and hits Paul. He collapses.
Mary Alice: "Paul!"
Deirdre: "Don't worry. I'll give him a good home."
Deirdre throws the fireplace poker down and starts towards the stairs again. Mary Alice grabs a knife and stabs Deirdre.
Mary Alice: "No!"
Deirdre falls coughing and groaning. Paul begins to get up, holding his bleeding forehead.
Paul: "Oh, Mary Alice. What did you do?"
Mary Alice goes to Zach’s room, quickly emptying his toy chest. Zach wakes up.
Zach: "Mommy?"
Mary Alice: "It's okay, Zach. Mommy needs to borrow your toy chest. You go back to sleep, okay?"
She hugs him.
In the living room the toy chest is next to Deirdre’s body.
Paul: "What are we gonna do?"
Mary Alice: "You said they were pouring the concrete for the pool tomorrow?"
Paul: "You can't be serious."
Mary Alice: "They'll never find her. We can put her in this."
Paul: "She won't fit."
Mary Alice: "Then we'll have to make her fit."
Mary Alice bends down and pushes Deirdre’s sleeves up.
Paul: "What are you doing?"
Mary Alice: "Checking for track marks."
They see that her arms are clean.
Mary Alice looks up to see Zach standing on the stairs watching them.
CUT TO:
Present - In the Desert
Mike: "Deirdre had a baby?"
Paul (nods): "Let's get this over with."
Mike points the gun at Paul. After a few seconds, he drops his hand, then walks away, leaving Paul tied up on his knees, watching him go.
"It's an odd thing to look back on the world, to watch those I left behind. Each in her own way so brave, so determined, and so very desperate."
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
"Desperate to venture out, but afraid of what she'll miss when she goes."
Lynette stands in the doorway of the boys' room watching them sleep.
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House
"Desperate to get everything she wants, even when she's not exactly sure of what that is."
Gabrielle sits alone in her bedroom.
CUT TO:
Bree's House
"Desperate for life to be perfect again, although she realizes it never really was."
Bree is in her bedroom, laying out Rex’s burial clothes.
CUT TO:
Mike's House
"Desperate for a better future, if she can find a way to escape her past."
Zach stands by the front door and Susan is at the kitchen table.
CUT TO:
Mary Alice's House
Focus in on the original picture of the five women hugging each other and smiling for the camera.
"I not only watch, I cheer them on, these amazing women. I hope so much they'll find what they're looking for."
Mike pulls in the street in his truck. He pulls into his driveway and walks into his house. Zach and Susan hear him walk up the stairs.
"But I know not all of them will. Sadly, that’s just not the way life works. Not everyone gets a happy ending."
Mike walks into his house and closes the door behind him.
The End
===== DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES =====
ORIGINAL AIRDATE : Mon, May 22th, 2005 @ 10pm (ABC)
WRITTEN BY KEVIN MURPHY, TOMP SPEZIALY, MARC CHERRY, JOHN PARDEE & JOEY MURPHY
DIRECTED BY LARRY SHAW
==========================
TRANSCRIPT:
==========================
Mary Alice’s House
On a table is a picture of Mary Alice, Bree, Susan, Gabrielle and Lynette hugging and smiling.
"My name is Mary Alice Young, and before I died, my life was filled with love, laughter, friendship, and, sadly, secrets."
Cut to Mary Alice exiting her front door, taking out the trash.
"The secrets had begun fifteen years earlier when my name was Angela Forrest, and I was living a life of quiet desperation."
Cut to Mary Alice serving breakfast to Paul, who is pouring orange juice while sitting at the dining room table.
"I'd feel it every morning as I made breakfast for my husband."
Paul: "If you could stop by the market today, that would be great. I'm out of shaving cream."
Cut to Mary Alice in the supermarket parking lot.
"And during the errands I ran in the afternoons."
With a supermarket apron on, a bag boy loads groceries into Mary Alice’s car. She hands a tip to him.
Bag Boy: "So Friday's double coupon day. You'll save a bunch if you come on Fridays."
"Even at my work every evening."
Cut to Mary Alice at the hospital. She approaches the nurse’s station with a file folder. A younger Felicia Tilman is talking to a nurse who is looking at a calendar at the desk.
.Nurse: "What a lovely calendar. Was this taken around here?"
Felicia: "Oh, no. That's way out in Fairview. I have family there. Isn't it idyllic?"
Mary Alice begins putting files away. Felicia hands her another file.
Felicia: "Here, Angela. You can file this."
Mary Alice: "Oh."
"To me, each day was gray and meaningless. And then one night, suddenly..."
Cut to Mary Alice taking out the trash. A young woman approaches in the dark, carrying a baby.
Deirdre: "Hey, Angela."
"There was color."
Mary Alice: "Deirdre. What are you doing here?"
Deirdre: "I need some money."
Later, Deirdre looks around Paul and Mary Alice's living room, holding her baby. Paul stands off to the side and Mary Alice brings a glass of water to Deirdre.
Mary Alice: "Deirdre, here."
The baby begins whimpering. Deirdre drinks the water quickly and hands the glass back to Mary Alice. She keeps her reddened eyes averted.
Mary Alice: "You're using again, aren't you?"
Deirdre: "No, I just, um, I just got to get some food for my baby and some other stuff."
Mary Alice: "Well, if the baby's hungry, we can go to the market and I'll buy food."
Deirdre: "I-I can shop for my own baby, okay?"
The baby begins to fret.
Deirdre: "Quiet! I can't think. See this watch? It's worth a lot. I'll give it to you for fifty bucks."
Paul: "She's not giving you money."
Deirdre: "Do you mind? Angela, you're the only one at rehab who treated me like a person. Okay, please, please don't stop now."
Mary Alice: "I'm sorry."
Mary Alice walks to the front door and opens it.
Deirdre: "I'll sell you my baby!"
Mary Alice: "What?"
Deirdre: "I heard you talking and I know you can't have your own. It's been killing you."
Paul: "It's time that you left."
Deirdre: "No, I, I'm thinking about Dana. You'll give him a good home. Okay? He'll be better off. Okay? Shh. Quiet. Quiet!"
Paul: "Honey!"
Mary Alice holds up her hand to silence Paul.
Deirdre: "How much money do you keep in the house? "
The baby continues to cry. Mary Alice slowly closes the front door.
CUT TO:
Clinic
Paramedics roll in a gurney carrying an unconscious Deirdre.
Felicia: "She has a ten-month-old baby. Where the hell is it?"
Policeman: "I don't know. If we'd seen a kid, we certainly wouldn't have left it sitting in the middle of a crack house."
Felicia: "If anything happens to that child, I will have your badge."
Mary Alice stands close by, listening to the conversation.
Policeman: "Just let me do my job, huh? We'll post an Officer at the junkie's bedside. If she wakes up, we'll let her tell us where she left her kid."
Deirdre's gurney is rolled out the room. Mary Alice's eyes focus on the calendar hanging at the nurse’s station. She looks at the picture of a group of houses in the town of Fairview.
CUT TO:
Mary Alice's House
A realtor comes out of the house, greeting Paul, Mary Alice, and young Dana.
Realtor: "I really do hope you folks will be happy here in Fairview.
Paul: "Thank you."
"And we were."
Mary Alice: "Wave bye, Zach. Wave bye-bye."
"We were as happy as any family could be."
Mary Alice and Paul smile at each other, then enter their new home.
"Until one night three years later..."
Hand knocking on the door late at night.
"When there was a knock at our door and I was desperate once again."
Mary Alice opens the front door. Deirdre is standing there.
CUT TO:
CREDITS
CUT TO:
Wisteria Lane, Nighttime
"It was five o'clock in the morning on Wisteria Lane when the phone calls started."
CUT TO:
Susan's House
The telephone rings. Susan rolls over in bed to pick up the phone.
"Of course, each of them knew something was wrong from that first ring."
Susan: "Hello?"
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
The telephone rings.
"After all, it's one of the unwritten rules of suburbia..."
Lynette wakes and grabs the phone.
Lynette: "Hello?"
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House
The telephone rings.
"...don't call the neighbors in the middle of the night..."
Telephone ringing. Gabrielle grabs the phone.
"...unless the news is bad."
Gabrielle: "Hello?"
CUT TO:
Hospital
"And so they came with their uncombed hair and their unmade faces. They came because after all these years..."
Susan, Lynette and Gabrielle exit the hospital elevator, walking quickly. They come to a waiting room where Bree is sitting there alone.
Susan: "Bree."
"They were no longer just neighbors."
Susan, Lynette ,and Gabrielle go Bree and sit with her.
Bree: "Hi. What are you doing here?"
Susan: "We heard Rex had a heart attack. How is he?"
Bree: "Um, he's stable, but, um, they have to put in a pacemaker, so they're gonna need to operate. How did you guys know?"
Gabrielle: "Danielle called."
Lynette: "So how are you doing?"
Bree: "We were having a fight when he had the heart attack, and I'm just feeling really guilty, because I should have gotten him here sooner and - "
Gabrielle: "Honey, the doctors here are great!"
Lynette: "Yeah, and he's so young, he's gonna bounce right back."
Susan: "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."
Bree: "You know what? I am so happy that you guys came here, I really am, but I am trying really hard to be strong, so if you keep comforting me..."
Lynette: "You're gonna lose it?"
Bree: "Mm-hmm."
Gabrielle: "Then we won't comfort."
Bree: "Thank you."
Gabrielle: "We're just gonna talk about non-crisis things."
Susan: "Oh, I know. Uh, I found Mrs. Huber's journal in some of Mike's stuff, and I think she knew Mary Alice's secret and was blackmailing her."
Bree, Gabrielle and Lynette look at her.
Lynette: "Yep, that'll do it."
CUT TO:
Outside Felicia's House
Zach walks quickly out the front door, Felicia right behind him.
Felicia: "Zachary! Come back here, please."
Zach goes to his own house, slams the door and runs up the stairs. He is carrying a suitcase and heads up the stairs. Felicia enters after him.
Felicia: "Your father told you he would be gone for a while. He said you should let me look after you."
Zach: "I will be fine by myself. I am not a child."
Zach continues upstairs, goes to his room, and lays down on his bed. Felicia enters.
Felicia: "I know you're not a child, but I think we should discuss this."
Felicia sits on the bed next to Zach.
Zach: "I'm fine, really."
Felicia: "Why should you fend for yourself when you can just come home with me? Let me shoulder the burden. It would really be my pleasure-"
Felicia reaches to brush Zach’s hair back. Zach pushes her away and jumps up from the bed. Felicia jumps back.
Zach: "Stop! What kind of freak are you? Just leave me alone, all right? You are not my mother! I told you that I am fine. Now stop acting like my mother and go home."
Felicia: "I wish it were that easy, Zachary, for your sake, but it's not. Your father's not coming back."
Zach: "He said that he was."
Felicia: "He lied. I wanted to spare you this, but your father and I discussed it, and he decided that he shouldn't come back. Now, get your bag and let's go home. I'm gonna make you some pudding."
Felicia walks out of the room. She starts down the stairs and as she reaches the bottom, Zach runs after her, holding a hockey stick.
Zach: "What did you do to my dad?"
He swings the hockey stick at her.
CUT TO:
Outside Paul's House
From the Young's front lawn, the sounds of someone being struck over and over can be heard.
Zach: "Tell me!"
CUT TO:
Mrs. Applewhite's House
The new neighbor, Mrs. Applewhite, comes out onto the porch carrying a sewing basket. Edie approaches.
Edie: "Mrs. Applewhite?"
Mrs. Applewhite: "Yes?"
Edie: "Hi. I'm Edie Britt. The realtor that helped you buy this house?"
Mrs. Applewhite: "Oh, of course. Hi."
Edie: "Hi. I've been so curious to meet you."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Really? Why?"
Edie: "It's just that I've never sold a house over the phone before."
A young man comes out the front door and closes the door behind him.
Edie: "You were awfully brave, buying the place sight unseen."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Not really. We could tell from the advertisement it was just what we were looking for. This is my son Matthew."
Matthew approaches and reaches to shake Edie’s hand.
Matthew: "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."
Edie: "Please. Call me Edie. Ma'am's for middle-aged women."
Edie looks over a bush and points to Susan across the way who's putting trash in her trash can.
Edie: "...like her. You can call her ma'am anytime you want. So are you two finding everything okay? Because we didn't do our realtor's walk-through."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Everything is fine."
Edie: "Oh, honey. Escrow's closed. Now I can show you where to put the buckets when the rain comes."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Edie. The house is fine. But how lovely of you to stop by."
Edie: "Okay. Here is my card. Call anytime you want. Bye."
Matthew and his mother watch Edie walk to her car.
Matthew: "People are very friendly in this neighborhood."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Yes. Yes, they are."
CUT TO:
Susan's House
Susan paces while on the phone. She is holding Mrs. Huber’s journal.
Susan: "Mike, Hi, sweetie. I hope the job's going well. Um, so I hope you're not mad, but I found Mrs. Huber's journal in your truck, and, well, I couldn't exactly not read it, so I did, and, um, I know all about the blackmail, so call me. We'll talk. Love you. Bye."
Later, Susan is on the phone again.
Susan: "I haven't heard back, and I was getting a little concerned. The girls and I were talking, and, we think that maybe Paul Young killed Mrs. Huber, and if he did, then maybe he killed your old girlfriend, too, so we should really talk about this so call me. I love you. Bye."
Later, Susan is on the phone again.
Susan: "I thought the whole point of having a cell phone was so someone could reach you when they needed to talk. How can we move forward as a couple if you won't communicate with me? Mike, I need you to call me back! I mean it! Love you. Bye."
Later, Susan is on the phone again.
Susan: "I am so sorry for that last phone call. Um, let's just say it was the worry talking. I just really need to talk to you, and-"
There's a small chirping sound coming from the phone.
Susan: "Can you hang on? I got another call. Hello?"
Mike: "Hey, it's me."
Susan: "Oh, my God. Where have you been?"
Mike: "Uh, the reception's pretty lousy up here, but I got your messages."
Susan: "Well, I'm really sorry for that last message. I was just, uh..."
Mike: "Stressed out?"
Susan: "Yes. Let's call it stressed out. Uh, so how did you get Martha Huber's journal?"
Mike: "Oh, um, her sister, Mrs. Tilman, gave it to me. She was helping me with my search."
Susan: "I just really think we need to give it to the police."
Mike: "Uh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely."
Susan: "Really?"
Mike: "Sure. Yeah. As soon as I get through with this job, we'll make an appointment with that detective, what's his name, uh, Copeland."
Susan: "Great. That's great."
Mike: "All right, so I'll, uh, see you in a few hours."
Susan: "Okay. Hurry, though. I just have a feeling that Paul Young is in the middle of all of this."
Mike: "Well, let's not rush to judgment."
Mike hangs up. He’s in his truck and turns to look at the back seat, where Paul Young is tied up with tape over his mouth. Mike drives off into the mountains.
CUT TO:
Courtroom Waiting Room
Carlos is sitting in a chair wearing an orange jump suit with handcuffs on. Gabrielle enters carrying a suit.
Carlos: "What are you doing here?"
Gabrielle: "I'm here to testify for you, Carlos. Can you take those off?"
Policeman (unlocks Carlos' handcuffs): "Yes, ma'am."
Gabrielle: "There's no way I'm dressing him."
Carlos: "Gabby, thank god you're doing this. Beating up a second gay guy? It looks bad."
Gabrielle: "Yes, well, Carlos, in some circles, beating people up at all is frowned upon."
Carlos: "So why'd you change your mind?"
Gabrielle: "Well, I'm about to be the mother of your child, which means a lot of responsibility and little time for myself. So if I'm gonna get you out of this mess, you have to reciprocate."
Carlos: "Okay."
Gabrielle: "When the baby cries in the middle of the night, you're gonna get up without saying one word. Doctors' appointments: you're driving. I'm not putting a car seat in my Maserati. And you will also be on bottle duty. That means washing, sterilizing, and filling. That way I'll have some semblance of a life, and then maybe I won't hate you so much."
Gabrielle tightens Carlos’ tie. He winces. She fixes his collar.
Gabrielle: "All right, there we go. So we're good? See you in court."
Gabrielle begins walking out.
Carlos: "Hey, Gabby? Aren't we breast feeding?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, honey, if you can swing that one, more power to you."
Gabrielle leaves the room.
CUT TO:
Pizza Place
Inside a children’s Pizza Parlor. Lynette and Parker enter, with Lynette pushing the stroller.
Parker: "Can I buy my own pizza?"
Lynette: "Uh, you can, honey, If you can pay for it."
Lynette hears cheering and yelling. She looks over to the game area and sees Tom playing air hockey with a bunch of kids.
Tom: "Yeah, that is nineteen, nineteen, nineteen-zip. Bring it."
Lynette: "Just stay here with Penny for a second, okay?"
Lynette walks into the game room and approaches Tom.
Lynette: "Tom?"
Tom: "Yes! In your face! That is twenty-zip game, out!"
Lynette: "Tom, what are you doing?"
Tom: "I'm playing air hockey. What's it look like? Kevin, you're up."
Lynette: "Well, it's the middle of the day, and shouldn't you be at work?"
Tom: "Mm, no. I quit."
Lynette: "You did not."
Tom: "Yes. Yesterday. I told Peterson he could stick it. Boom! You're not bringing it, Kevin! Bring it!"
Lynette: "Could you talk to me for a second? I don't understand."
Tom: "What? You asked Peterson's wife to make sure he wouldn't promote me. So he gives a huge promotion to Annabel, so I quit. What don't you understand?"
Lynette: "Okay. Okay. Could we go home and talk about this, please?"
Tom: "No, we can't. Serve it up, meat."
Lynette: "You're just gonna stay here and play games all day?"
Tom: "No, I'm gonna go and get some ice cream, and then I'm gonna go up to the lake, maybe rent a boat, do whatever it is I feel like -- God!"
Boy: "Gotcha!"
Lynette: "Tom."
Tom: "Go home, Lynette. Go home before I say something I regret. Go home."
Lynette walks away.
Tom: "All right, you. You score this next point, you get your bike back."
CUT TO:
Hospital Room
Bree is sitting beside Rex who is attached to various monitors. Rex opens his eyes and looks over at Bree.
Rex: "What are you thinking about?"
Bree: "Oh, I was just, um, thinking that I need to start, uh, spring cleaning."
Rex: "You haven't done that yet?"
Bree: "No, and I need to clean out our rain gutters, and, uh, beneath the refrigerator, and I can't tell you how long it's been since I've replaced the shelf liner, so..."
Rex: "Then you'll finish off with our wedding silver."
Bree: "How did you know that?"
Rex: "See, all those years, you didn't think I was paying attention. But I was."
Bree: "And do you know why I save it for last?"
Rex: "No."
Bree: "Because it makes me think of my Aunt Fern. On the day we got married, I told her how happy I was, and she told me that even during bad times to always remember that the best was yet to come. And so as I polish it, I think about you and the kids and our life and how right she was."
Rex: "They're gonna operate on me."
Bree: "I know."
Rex: "I wanna say some stuff just in case."
Bree: "Rex, you don't have to say anything."
Rex: "I'm sorry for everything I did. The moving out, the infidelity, the sex stuff..."
Bree: "It doesn't matter. From here on in, can we just say that we're even?"
Rex reaches for Bree’s hand. Bree clasps his hand.
Rex: "Okay."
Bree: "Thanks."
Bree sits on the bed next to Rex and tenderly touches his face.
Bree: "And for the record, you are gonna come through this operation just fine."
Rex: "How can you be so sure?"
Bree: "Because I told you: the best is yet to come."
Bree kisses Rex. She places her head on his chest and Rex puts his arm around her.
CUT TO:
Outside Susan's House
Susan, Julie, and Karl come out. Karl is holding Julie’s suitcase.
Julie: "So I'll see you Sunday. Don't forget to feed Bongo."
Susan: "Oh, thanks. I'll go do that now."
Karl: "Go on in the car, sweetie. I have to talk to your mom real quick."
Julie gets into her father’s car.
Karl: "So you're gonna go live in sin with the plumber slash ex-con?"
Susan: "It's funny you should mention sin. I think adultery still falls in that category."
Karl: "I, I don't like the idea of this guy being around Julie twenty-four seven."
Susan: "He's a good person."
Julie: "Mike's cool, dad. He cares about us a lot, and I like having him around. So don't mess this up."
Susan: "You heard the girl."
Karl: "He's still a plumber."
Karl get into his car and drives away. Julie waves goodbye. Susan goes across the street to Mike’s house.
CUT TO:
Mike's House
She enters the darkened house with a key. Bongo begins barking and growling.
Susan: "Now, you be a good boy, Bongo, or you're gonna go to bed hungry."
Susan goes into the kitchen. Zach comes out from behind a wall. Susan turns and sees Zach. He has a gun in his hand.
Zach: "Hi, Ms. Mayer. Can you sit down, please?"
Susan is sitting at the dining room table. Zach is sitting across from her with the gun on the arm of the chair. Susan looks into the kitchen and sees a block with knives on the counter. She looks around the room. She sees a tall vase and part of a moose horn. She begins standing up.
Susan: "I'm just gonna go get some water."
Zach: "I'd rather you didn't."
Susan slowly sits back down as Zach keeps his gun trained on her. Edie walks up Mike’s porch. She knocks.
Zach: "Don't answer it.
Zach gets behind the door where it’s dark and peeks out. Edie looks through the window and sees Susan quietly sitting there.
Edie: "I know you're in there, Susan. I can see you. If you don't want to talk to me, fine. At least have the courtesy to hide."
Edie begins to knock louder. Susan looks at Zach as though saying, "what should I do?"
Zach: "All right, but don't let her in."
Susan gets up and opens the door a crack. Zach is standing behind the door holding the gun on her.
Susan: "Edie, what a pleasant surprise."
Edie: "Right. Is Mike home?"
Susan: "Uh, no, he's on a big plumbing job. What's up?"
Edie: "Can I come in?"
Susan: "Why?"
Edie: "I'm warning all the neighbors. Felicia Tilman was attacked."
Susan: "She was?"
Edie: "At the Young house. They just took her away an ambulance. I'm totally freaked out. My guys haven't shown up at the job site yet. I'm over there all alone, so do you think maybe I could just come in and hang out for a while?"
Susan mouths "Zach is sticking a gun at me" to Edie, but Edie misunderstands.
Edie: "Stick it up my what?"
Susan: "Just get the hell out of here."
Edie: "God, you are such a bitch."
Susan slams the door on Edie. She faces Zach who continues holding the gun on her.
Susan: "Why?"
Zach: "I asked Mrs. Tilman to tell me the truth about my father. She did."
Susan: "What'd she say?"
Zach: "Mr. Delfino took my dad away to kill him. Now I'm gonna kill Mr. Delfino."
CUT TO:
Courtroom
Gabrielle is on the stand.
Gabrielle: "Your Honor, this whole mess is just a result of my loneliness. My marriage is a bit strained, and after Carlos was convicted-"
Judge: "No one's been convicted yet, Mrs. Solis. This is just a Grand Jury hearing."
Gabrielle: "Oh, no, no, I'm talking about his other crime."
Judge: "Oh, right. Go ahead."
Gabrielle: "Anyway, he was placed under house arrest, and he being the jealous man that he is, got a little crazy every time I left the house."
The courtroom is filled. Justin, with a bruised face, is sitting in the back. Also in the courtroom is the cable guy Carlos previously attacked.
Gabrielle: "He knows how men look at me, and, well, I, I didn't exactly ease his mind. I falsely led him to believe I was having an affair. And, and before Carlos's house arrest, he was always working, and he was never with me. And I thought that maybe if he believed I was having an affair, he would realize he loved me. And I know it sounds stupid, I do. I just-"
Prosecution Attorney: "Is there a point to this?"
Gabrielle: "My point is that Carlos is an angry, jealous Neanderthal. But he's not a gay-basher."
Judge: "All right. I've heard enough. Counsel, approach."
Holding his hand over the microphone, the judge speaks with the attorneys.
Judge: "I've got to be honest, I don't think we have a hate crime here."
Gabrielle, listening intently, turns to Carlos and nods encouragingly at him. Just then, John enters the courtroom. As the judge and attorneys continue talking, John approaches Carlos from behind. Gabrielle watches in horror as John leans to whisper into Carlos’ ear.
John: "Just so you know, you beat up the wrong guy. Didn't you think it was strange that you had the only lawn on Wisteria Lane that needed to be mowed three times a week?"
He claps Carlos on the back and gives Gabrielle a brief fierce stare before walking off.
Carlos slowly turns his head to look at Gabrielle. Her eyes widen and Carlos turns his body to look at where John is standing directly behind Justin.
Carlos: "You are so dead! You are so dead. You are dead!"
Carlos jumps over the barrier and runs toward John. Judge pounds the gavel.
Judge: "Order!"
Gabrielle: "Aaah. Carlos!"
Attorney: "He’s doing it again!"
Lady: "He’s going after the gay guy!"
Carlos runs toward John but Justin is in his way. He knocks Justin down.
Cable Guy: "Hey, for God’s sakes. Somebody stop him!"
Guard: "Get off of him!"
Gabrielle: "Stop it!"
Guards pull Carlos up. John stares at Carlos with hate in his eyes. Carlos yells at John.
Carlos: "I'll kill you! Te voy a matar! I am going to kill you!"
The guards pull Carlos out of the room.
Judge: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please be seated. We will have order!"
Everyone sits down. Gabrielle looks at John who has a very smug look on his face.
CUT TO:
Desert
Mike drives his truck up to a very deserted area. He gets out and opens the back door.
Mike: "Get out."
Mike pulls Paul out of the back. He pulls the tape off Paul’s mouth. Paul’s hands are tied behind his back. Mike takes a shovel out of the truck.
Paul: "I'm not trying to justify anything. I don't know how you knew Martha Huber, but she ruined lives. For fun. She destroyed my family."
Mike: "This isn't about her."
Paul: "I don't understand."
Mike: "Walk."
Mike pushes Paul and they begin walking.
CUT TO:
Hospital Room
Rex's doctor, Dr. Craig, is looking at Rex's chart.
Dr. Craig: "Remember when we first tested you, your potassium level was bit high."
Rex: "Yes. You made me stop eating bananas.
Dr. Craig: "But as we've continued testing, it's kept climbing. We've now run an entire battery of tests, and your kidney function is fine. It has to be something you're ingesting."
Rex: "Let me see. These numbers can't be right."
Dr. Craig: "Who prepares your meals?"
Rex: "Bree."
Dr. Craig: "I understand you've been having some marital problems."
Rex: "All right, wait a minute."
Dr. Craig: "Wasn't there also an incident at a salad bar? She gave you onions when she knew you were allergic."
Rex: "That was an accident."
Dr. Craig: "You're getting this potassium from somewhere."
Rex: "Get out."
Dr. Craig: "Rex."
Rex: "I mean it. Get out. Leave the chart. I want to read it."
Dr. Craig leaves the room. Rex begins reading his chart.
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
Tom comes in. He sits at the table across from Lynette.
Lynette: "So, did you have a fun day?"
Tom: "As a matter of fact, I did. I probably had the most fun that I have had in a long time."
Lynette: "You know, I didn't tell you to quit."
Tom: "No. No, no, no. No, you made damn sure that I'd go nowhere for the next twenty years."
Lynette: "I don't know what to say."
Tom: "I hear "please forgive me" is popular."
Lynette: "Yes, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. But I was trying to protect our family. If you got a promotion, we never would have seen you. You would have been traveling all the - "
Tom: "Lynette, Lynette, Lynette, you're right. You're right. You're right. That promotion would have just killed us, so this is gonna all work out."
Lynette: "What does that mean?"
Tom: "It means that I can use the break."
Lynette: "Oh, well, yeah. I think it would be good for you to take some time off."
Tom: "No, not some time. Full time. I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad."
Lynette: "Huh?"
Tom: "What the heck? You earn the living for a while."
Lynette: "Tom, that's...crazy."
Tom: "Why? Why is it crazy? You and I both know that you're better at the ad game, and you tell me all the time how hard it is to be a mom."
Lynette: "Well, yes, yes, it is hard, but I, I love it, too, and I've been doing it for six years, and I haven't complained the entire time."
Tom: "Fair enough. Fair enough. But be honest. Secretly, you miss the ad game, don't you? I mean, you miss the pressure and the deadlines and the, the power lunches. Or am I wrong? Maybe, maybe you want to sort dirty socks the rest of your life."
Lynette: "We should talk about this seriously before we make any rash decisions."
Tom: "I already made the decision. You're going back to work."
Tom gets up and goes upstairs.
CUT TO:
Mike's House
Susan is sitting on the stairs. Zach is sitting on the floor next to Bongo.
Susan: "Can I at least get you something to eat, Zach?"
Zach: "You can get me a soda. Thanks."
Susan gets up and walks toward the kitchen. Zach gets up behind her. Susan goes to the refrigerator.
Susan: "I gotta say, I think you're making a mistake. Mike couldn't kill anybody. I mean, this could just be a misunderstanding."
Susan hands Zach a soda she has opened for him.
Zach: "This is not a misunderstanding."
Susan: "Listen, I know you're upset, but is this really what you think your mother would want you doing?"
Zach: "Probably not."
Susan: "Exactly. Because she raised you right. Look you have been through a lot. you've lost your mom. you're still carrying around the guilt over what happened to your baby sister."
Zach: "I never had a baby sister!"
Susan: "Honey, I know about Dana."
Zach: "How stupid are you? I'm Dana. My mother was some junkie. They stole me and changed my name. They have been lying to me my entire life. Everyone lies to me! My mother! My father! Mrs. Tilman! Even Julie. Do you understand how much that hurts?"
Susan: "Look, Zach. I know you're upset. Let’s just, let's just sit down and talk."
Zach: "Why! So you can lie to me also?"
He points the gun at her and she puts her hand up as though pleading for Zach to stop.
Zach: "No more talking."
Susan nods and Zach points the gun downward.
CUT TO:
Hospital Room
Rex closes his chart. He breathes heavily as he grabs a pen and paper and begins to write, "Bree, I understand and I forgive you."
CUT TO:
Bree's House
Bree is polishing silver when the phone rings.
Bree: "Hello?"
Dr. Craig: "Bree, it's Dr. Craig. I'm at the hospital, and I'm afraid I have some bad news."
Bree: "Oh?"
Dr. Craig: "Rex passed away about ten minutes ago."
Bree: "But his operation, it's not until tomorrow."
Dr. Craig: "I know. He just didn't make it. I'm so sorry. We did everything we could. Bree?"
Bree: "Yes, of course you did. Thank you very much for calling."
Bree slowly hangs up the phone. She walks into the dining room and finishes polishing the silver. She closes the box and puts it on the shelf. She walks to the table and straightens the tablecloth. She sits down and, looking at the empty chair across the table from her, begins to sob.
The camera slowly pans over to a photograph of Bree and Rex on their wedding day.
CUT TO:
Desert
Paul and Mike continue walking.
Paul: "This is a long way to go to do what you could have done in my backyard. You're kind of taking your time, walking a lot. You sure you know what you're doing? You ever actually had to kill anyone for real before?"
Mike: "Yeah."
Paul: "Oh."
Mike: "But since you're so tired of walking, let's just do this here."
Mike pushes Paul to his knees. He pulls out a gun and points it at Paul
Paul: "I don't expect any favors from you, obviously. But could you at least do me the courtesy of telling me why we're here?"
Mike pulls out a photograph of him and Deirdre and tosses on the ground in front of Paul.
Paul: "You knew Deirdre?"
Mike: "Yeah. And I know what you did to her. She was just a sad girl with a lot of problems, and she did some terrible, crazy, selfish stuff, but you tell me what she ever could have done to deserve death at the hands of somebody like you."
Paul: "It's complicated. It's, uh, complicated."
"And just like that, my husband began sharing my secrets."
CUT TO:
Mary Alice's House
Flashback to when Mary Alice was alive. Mary Alice cut up some vegetables.
Mary Alice: "You want some carrots, Zachary?"
"Secrets I had died to protect."
She carries the carrots into the dining room.
Mary Alice: "There you go. We have to get that fence up in the backyard before the pool’s finished."
Paul: "I know."
Mary Alice: "I'm serious. You know how kids are drawn to water."
She continues cutting up vegetables when there's a knocking at the door. She goes to answer the door, opens it, and finds Deirdre standing there.
Deirdre: "Hello, Angela."
Later, Deirdre sits in the living room across from Paul and Mary Alice.
Deirdre: "You did a good job covering your tracks. I had to spend a lot of my father's money hunting you down."
Mary Alice: "Congratulations. You found us."
Deirdre: "You know, I never told the police what happened."
Paul: "You didn't?"
Deirdre: "They would have put Dana in foster care, or worse, given him to my father. So I kept our little secret."
Mary Alice: "Well, we appreciate that."
Deirdre: "Anyway, I guess you can see I've gotten myself cleaned up."
Mary Alice: "Yes, you look lovely."
Deirdre: "I'm not the same person you knew back then, Angela. I'm in a good place now."
Mary Alice: "You can't have him."
Deirdre: "Just because I didn't go to the police before doesn't mean I can't do it now."
Mary Alice stands up.
Mary Alice: "Zach is our son."
Deirdre: "His name is Dana."
Mary Alice: "If you think I'm giving my baby to some junkie, you're crazy."
Deirdre: "He's not your baby."
Paul: "Look, just calm down."
Deirdre: "You were always so high and mighty back at the clinic, looking down on us poor degenerates, pretending you wanted to help when all you really wanted was to feel superior. You self-righteous bitch."
Mary Alice: "You're still using, aren't you?"
Deirdre: "Go to hell."
Mary Alice grabs Deirdre’s arm. Deirdre tries to pull away.
Deirdre: "What are you doing?"
Mary Alice: "Let me see your arm."
Deirdre: "I said I'm clean!"
Paul steps in the separate them.
Paul: "Take it easy. Let's just take it easy."
Deirdre begins to go to the stairs.
Mary Alice: "Where do you think you're going?"
Deirdre: "I'm getting my son, and I'm taking him home."
Mary Alice: "Paul, stop her."
Paul runs after her and grabs her.
Paul: "Deirdre, please."
He pushes her back to living room and she falls on the floor.
Paul: "Come on. Sit down. Sit down."
Deirdre: "Get your hands off me!"
Mary Alice: "We raised him. We're his parents."
Paul: "Come on. Come on.
Deirdre grabs the poker from the fireplace and hits Paul. He collapses.
Mary Alice: "Paul!"
Deirdre: "Don't worry. I'll give him a good home."
Deirdre throws the fireplace poker down and starts towards the stairs again. Mary Alice grabs a knife and stabs Deirdre.
Mary Alice: "No!"
Deirdre falls coughing and groaning. Paul begins to get up, holding his bleeding forehead.
Paul: "Oh, Mary Alice. What did you do?"
Mary Alice goes to Zach’s room, quickly emptying his toy chest. Zach wakes up.
Zach: "Mommy?"
Mary Alice: "It's okay, Zach. Mommy needs to borrow your toy chest. You go back to sleep, okay?"
She hugs him.
In the living room the toy chest is next to Deirdre’s body.
Paul: "What are we gonna do?"
Mary Alice: "You said they were pouring the concrete for the pool tomorrow?"
Paul: "You can't be serious."
Mary Alice: "They'll never find her. We can put her in this."
Paul: "She won't fit."
Mary Alice: "Then we'll have to make her fit."
Mary Alice bends down and pushes Deirdre’s sleeves up.
Paul: "What are you doing?"
Mary Alice: "Checking for track marks."
They see that her arms are clean.
Mary Alice looks up to see Zach standing on the stairs watching them.
CUT TO:
Present - In the Desert
Mike: "Deirdre had a baby?"
Paul (nods): "Let's get this over with."
Mike points the gun at Paul. After a few seconds, he drops his hand, then walks away, leaving Paul tied up on his knees, watching him go.
"It's an odd thing to look back on the world, to watch those I left behind. Each in her own way so brave, so determined, and so very desperate."
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
"Desperate to venture out, but afraid of what she'll miss when she goes."
Lynette stands in the doorway of the boys' room watching them sleep.
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House
"Desperate to get everything she wants, even when she's not exactly sure of what that is."
Gabrielle sits alone in her bedroom.
CUT TO:
Bree's House
"Desperate for life to be perfect again, although she realizes it never really was."
Bree is in her bedroom, laying out Rex’s burial clothes.
CUT TO:
Mike's House
"Desperate for a better future, if she can find a way to escape her past."
Zach stands by the front door and Susan is at the kitchen table.
CUT TO:
Mary Alice's House
Focus in on the original picture of the five women hugging each other and smiling for the camera.
"I not only watch, I cheer them on, these amazing women. I hope so much they'll find what they're looking for."
Mike pulls in the street in his truck. He pulls into his driveway and walks into his house. Zach and Susan hear him walk up the stairs.
"But I know not all of them will. Sadly, that’s just not the way life works. Not everyone gets a happy ending."
Mike walks into his house and closes the door behind him.
The End
===== DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES =====
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 1X22（英文剧本/free scripts)
1X22 - GOODBYE FOR NOW
ORIGINAL AIRDATE : Mon, May 15th, 2005 @ 10pm (ABC)
WRITTEN BY JOSH SENTER
DIRECTED BY DAVID GROSSMAN
==========================
TRANSCRIPT:
==========================
Teaser
Edie Britt sits in her car at the construction site. She checks her appearance in the rearview mirror, then gets out of the car.
"Edie Britt’s favorite moment of every day was her arrival at the construction site of her new home, because she knew what was about to happen. Her sudden appearance was always sure to generate a few appreciative glances, a few lascivious looks, and some downright ogling. Sadly for Edie, the one man she wanted most to notice her..."
Edie looks across the street to where Mike Delfino is bringing in the newspaper. She smiles and raises her hand in greeting, but he doesn't notice her.
"...paid her no attention at all. Yes, Edie needed attention to feel good about herself and she was determined to get it."
A construction worker walks over to her.
Cyrus: "Ms. Britt, you look extra beautiful today."
Edie: "Oh, Cyrus, you’re so sweet."
Cyrus: "So anyhow, I, I was wondering if maybe I could, uh, take you out to dinner sometime."
Edie: "Oh honey, you are so far out of your league that you are playing a completely different sport."
She takes a box of doughnuts from the top of his car and walks across the street, where she knocks on Mike's door. Mike answers.
Edie: "Hey, there."
Mike: "Hi Edie. What’s up?"
Edie: "Nice ensemble, you busy?"
Mike: "No, not really."
Edie: "Oh good, I bought a bunch of fresh doughnuts for my construction workers and as you can see, I bought a few too many, so I thought maybe you and I could -"
Susan appears at the doorway, next to Mike.
Edie: "Susan!"
Susan: "Hey there Edie."
Edie: "What are you -"
Susan: "Mike and I got back together."
Edie: "Super."
Susan: "I knew you’d be happy for us. So what’s going on?"
Mike: "Uh, Edie was just about to -"
Edie: "Free doughnuts. Want em’ or not?"
Susan: "How sweet, thanks. Why don’t you go put these on a plate? Oh, and save me one with sprinkles."
Mike goes into the kitchen.
Susan: "I cannot believe you are still coming onto him."
Edie: "You said you two were finished. You thought he was a murderer."
Susan: "And that was your cue to come over and flirt? You wasted your time and your doughnuts."
Edie: "Not if you choke on them."
Mike: "Well, thanks Edie. The doughnuts look great."
Edie: "Pleasure. See ya."
Susan: "You know, I’m gonna run home and get some milk to go with those doughnuts."
Mike: "Hey, you know it’s, it's a shame you got to keep running back and forth."
Susan: "Well, I can’t have doughnuts and juice. It’s unnatural."
Mike: "No, I mean we should move in together. Come on, what do you say?"
Susan: "Um, I say, oh! Hold that thought. Edie, Edie stop! Stop! Hang on."
Edie: "What now?"
Susan: "Oh, I was just rude back there gloating and everything and I apologize."
Edie: "Well, thank you, Susan. Very big of you."
Susan: "And on a completely unrelated topic, Mike and I are moving in together. See ya."
She runs back to Mike.
"Yes, Edie Britt needed the attention of men to feel good about herself."
Edie pulls up in her car to the construction site.
Edie: "Hey, Cyrus. You have lunch plans?"
Cyrus: "No."
"And even she was amazed at how far she was willing to go to get it."
Edie: "Ellsberg Hotel. Half an hour. Welcome to the majors."
She drives off.
CUT TO:
Credits
CUT TO:
Wisteria Lane, Outside
"Mr. And Mrs. Edward Mullins were finally leaving Wisteria Lane. In the past year their street had played host to arson, violence, blackmail, and murder. Fearing they too would be infected by this moral decay, the Mullins felt it was time to say goodbye. Strangely enough none of their neighbors seemed to notice they were moving out."
The Mullins get into their packed car and drive off.
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House
Gabrielle comes out of her house to where Justin is mowing the front lawn.
Gabrielle: "Hey, I thought you might be thirsty."
Justin: "No, I’m good."
Gabrielle: "So, how’s your roommate doing?"
Justin: "He’s hanging in there."
Gabrielle: "Well, uh, I had to, um, tell him some news that was a little bit upsetting for him."
Justin: "No kidding."
Gabrielle: "Excuse me?"
Justin: "Where do you get off telling John he’s not good enough to raise a child? That kid can be his."
Gabrielle: "It is a complicated situation."
Justin: "It seems pretty simple to me. You’re an unfeeling bitch."
From inside the house, Carlos looks out of the window and sees Gabrielle slap Justin across the face. Gabrielle storms inside and heads up the stairs.
Carlos: "Why’d you hit the lawn boy?"
Gabrielle: "Well if you saw what he did to our pogonias you’d slap him too."
CUT TO:
Peterson Advertising
Lynette walks into Tom's workplace, carrying a large cake with the words "Welcome Back Duggan!" written on it. She walks into the office that Tom and Annabel share.
Lynette: "Hey."
Tom: "Hey Lynette what are you doing here? What’s this?"
Lynette: "You told me Duggan’s coming back to work today, I thought I’d do something special for him."
Tom: "Uh huh, and this wouldn’t have anything to do with you checking up on me and Annabel?"
Lynette: "What?"
Tom: "Yesterday you brought my pictures of the kids. The day before that you brought me soup. Lynette, honey, it's gotta stop."
Lynette: "Tom, I don’t care about you working with Annabel. I told you that. This is for Duggan. He had a heart attack. I don’t care about Annabel."
Annabel walks past them to leave the room.
Annabel: "Hey, Lynette."
Lynette: "Huh. Speak of the devil. And I mean that."
Carrying the cake, Lynette leaves and follows Annabel into the office kitchen.
Annabel: "Well, you’re becoming a regular fixture around here, aren’t ya?"
Lynette: "Oh, yeah. I wanted to do something nice for Duggan."
Annabel: "I suppose filling his blood stream with butter fat might be considered nice."
Lynette: "Actually, it’s fruit juice sweetened. Can I cut you? A piece?"
From outside of the kitchen, a man's voice is heard.
Man: "Everyone, I need to see you right now."
Inside a conference room, a grey-haired man, Dan, speaks to the employees standing around the room.
Dan: "Okay listen up. I just spoke with Tim Duggan’s wife and it looks like he’s not gonna be returning to work after all. Seems that he had a relapse last night which unfortunately puts us in a very tight spot. We’re gonna work together as a team and do what we need to do, so Jerry you're taking the Holister account, Suzanne, you're covering Paradise Springs, and Annabel, I want you to take the lead on the Traveler’s hotel chain. You’re leaving for Hawaii in three days."
Annabel: "I can’t handle Traveler’s by myself, especially not if they're moving into the print."
Dan: "Well, choose someone to take with you."
Annabel: "Oh, okay. Um, I choose Tom."
Lynette, holding the knife that she used to cut the cake, steps forward and Tom automatically puts his hand out to stop her.
CUT TO:
Mini-Golf World
Bree and George play miniature golf together.
Bree: "Well, let’s see I’ve beaten you to bridge, and mahjong and hearts. This is your last chance to redeem yourself."
George: "Stop it. You’re gonna make me laugh."
As George lines up his shot, Bree, standing behind him, walks her fingers over his back. He turns to look at her.
Bree: "Okay, okay, I’ll be good."
She walks around to his side and whispers in his ear.
Bree: "Miss it, miss it, miss it."
George: "Bree."
Bree: "Come on, I'm allowed to psych you out."
She walks a little bit away and suddenly George gets a worried look on his face. He turns his feet in and hunches over, not moving.
Bree: "Okay, time’s up. Take your best shot."
George: "I’m not ready yet."
Bree: "Hurry up. There're people waiting."
George: "One more minute."
Bree: "Come on, take your best -"
She reaches out and swipes gently at his arm. He pulls his arm away, still hunched over.
George: "Don’t do that."
Bree: "George, do you have an erection?"
George: "I’m sorry."
Bree: "What on earth?"
George: "You were blowing on my ear."
Bree: "I was teasing you."
George: "Exactly."
Bree: "You have got to get rid of it. There are children present."
George: "How?"
Bree: "I don’t know. Um, um think of something unpleasant."
George: "Like what?"
Bree: "Like famine, or disease, or hobos. Whatever. Just hurry."
Later, they walk away from the golf course.
George: "Look, you can’t be mad about it. It’s not something men can control."
Bree: "I kept this friendship going because I though Rex’s dislike of you was paranoid, but you had feelings for me all along. God, this is just such a betrayal."
George: "Come on, Bree. The only thing I am guilty of is loving you in silence."
Bree: "Well you shouldn’t be doing that. In case you’ve forgotten I’m married."
George: "To a selfish, two-faced liar who betrayed you with a hooker."
Bree: "I told you in confidence. How dare you throw it back in my face."
George: "So, you’re ending our friendship, after everything I’ve done for you?"
Bree: "What is that supposed to mean?"
George: "Nothing. It didn’t mean anything."
Bree: "George, I do love you as a friend. I wish you could love me the same way back, but since you can’t, goodbye."
She walks off.
CUT TO:
Edie's House
"Later that day, Edie Britt witnessed something disturbing."
Edie looks out of her window and sees Mike, carrying a moving box, kissing Susan.
"Something she was determined to put a stop to."
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
Bree, Lynette, and Gabrielle sit around the table, preparing for poker. Edie comes in from the living room.
Gabrielle: "So is Susan coming?"
Lynette: "She said she might be a little late. They already started moving a few of Mike’s things over to her house."
Bree: "Already? Wow, good for her."
Lynette: "Yeah, it’s nice to see Susan so happy again."
Edie: "Yeah, I’m happy for Susan. But don’t you think she and Mike are moving a little fast? I mean two days ago, she was thinking he was a murderer and now she’s moving in with him?"
Gabrielle: "She found out it was in self-defense. I think they’ve cleared everything up."
Bree: "Yeah good point."
Lynette: "Mike's a decent guy."
Edie: "Yeah, that’s true. Of course there was the gun shot wound."
Lynette: "That’s right. Did they ever explain that?"
Bree: "No, and I know guns and that wound was not self-inflicted."
Edie: "And then what about Mrs. Huber’s blood-stained jewelry?"
Lynette: "Yeah, that didn’t walk into Mike’s garage by itself."
Gabrielle: "Maybe this is a mistake. If there’s one thing I’ve learned men can’t be trusted."
Edie: "Hold it. Are you saying that we should put a stop to this?"
Bree: "Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to sit her down and share our concerns."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, we could do that."
Lynette: "Yeah."
Bree: "Edie, do you want to be a part of it?"
Edie: "Well normally, I’d prefer not to get involved, but if there’s anyway that I could help Susan..."
CUT TO:
Susan's Garage
Susan comes out to take a box from Mike, who's truck is parked on her driveway.
Susan: "We need to talk."
Mike: "Okay."
Susan: "When I was packing up your stuff in your bedroom, I found a box of bullets."
Mike: "Oh."
Susan: "Look, I feel really bad about Deirdre, and I know that you must want to find out who killed her, but if we’re gonna move in together, we can’t have this stuff hanging over us. You've gotta get rid of it. All of it: the file, the map, the gun, especially the gun and leave this to the police. They’re the professionals."
Mike: "Well, what can I say? It seems like a reasonable request."
Susan: "Oh. Really? Well, that was easy. Maybe after lunch we can talk about your leather bean bag chair."
Mike smiles and as Susan walks back in, he looks down the street. He sees Paul get out of his car, leave a box filled with items on a Martha Huber's doorstep, then get back in his car and drive away.
CUT TO:
Martha Huber's House
Zach and Felicia sit at the kitchen table. The box from Paul is sitting on the table and Paul is reading from a note.
Zach: "I realize now that I’ve treated you badly. I’m the one who needs to get help not you, so I have to go away for a while, in the meantime Mrs. Tilman will look out for you."
Felicia: "I don’t consider it a burden. You know you’re welcome here."
Zach: "I left you some things, I hope you can take comfort in them. I got you a new mitt. Work on your curve ball while I’m gone. I love you. Dad. Well, I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t he come see me? Why just run away?"
Felicia: "Your father’s been very troubled, dear. I’m sure he did what he felt was best for you."
Zach: "And he wants me to take comfort in this junk? I hate baseball. You think he would know that."
Felicia: "Zach."
Zach runs away from the room. Felicia picks up a photo of Mary Alice that Zach knocked down. She begins cleaning up the rest of the items he knocked to the floor. She picks up the baseball mitt and after a second, she slips her hand into the mitt. She pulls out a note hidden in the mitt. It reads: "Zach, I didn’t leave you. Meet me at the baseball field - Thursday at midnight. Dad"
Felicia crumples the note in her hand.
CUT TO:
Bree's House, Nighttime
Gabrielle looks out the window.
Gabrielle: "Susan’s coming."
Edie: "Okay guys. Interventions are never pretty, so stay strong cause she’s probably gonna cry."
The doorbell rings. Bree goes to answer it while Edie, Gabrielle, and Lynette line up near the couch.
Susan: "Bonjour. Oh hi, I didn’t know that the cooking lesson was gonna be a group activity. Well, the more the merrier, right? As long as nobody makes fun of my lousy crepes. How come I’m the only one wearing the apron?"
Later, all five women sit around the table, with coffee cups in front of them.
Lynette: "I know it seems like we’re ganging up on you, but you’re moving so fast we thought a sort of intervention was necessary."
Edie: "I know it’s tough to hear. None of us wanted to do this."
Susan: "I appreciate what you guys are trying to do, I really do. Um, I’m not gonna change my mind. In my life, I’ve been hurt a lot, Karl, and uh, well it’s just taught me to be cynical, and to expect the absolute worst from people, and I don’t want to live like that anymore, and when Mike asked me to move in with him, I was just happy, just ridiculously happy. I mean, I still am and I want to go with that feeling. I love him and I love him! So I’m gonna expect the best from Mike, and I know that he is gonna deliver that in return. Okay?"
Bree, Lynette, and Gabrielle lean to her and give her assurances.
Edie: "This is the worst intervention I have ever been to."
CUT TO:
Restaurant
Baby Penny sits in a high chair while Lynette has lunch with Natalie.
Natalie: "This is fun. It’s forever since we had lunch."
Lynette: "Well, as happy as I am to see you, I actually have an agenda. I ran into someone last week who said you guys were looking to hire. Is that true?"
Natalie: "Yeah. Are you thinking of coming back? Because say the word -"
Lynette: "No, no, not me. I was actually thinking more about Tom."
Natalie: "Oh, Tom?"
Lynette: "Yeah, he’s been thinking about making a move for a while. He kind of feels like he’s done everything he can where he is now."
Natalie: "Huh. Well Tom's certainly solid."
Lynette: "He’s more then solid, Tom’s ideas are spectacular. He’s passionate about his work. His visual instincts are off the chart."
Natalie: "Is he as good as you?"
Lynette: "He’s apples, I’m oranges, we excel in different areas. Trust me, you should give Tom a look."
Natalie: "I don’t need apples. I need someone like you. Cut throat. Ruthless."
Lynette: "Geez, Nat, you make me feel like some kind of shark. Ah, okay. You know, actually, if that’s the kind of exec you’re looking for..."
Natalie: "You’d get a shark for me?"
Lynette: "Yes, a very pretty shark."
CUT TO:
Bree's House, Outside
Bree gets into her car and drives off. Down the street, George watches. Once the car has driven away, he gets out and goes up to Bree's house.
CUT TO:
Bree's House, Inside
George spills out Rex's prescription bottle. He fills it up with pills that he brought with him.
In their bedroom, George opens up various dresser drawers. He comes to Bree's underwear drawer and stops, staring at the panties lying neatly in there.
He lays down some pantyhose on the bed and when he pulls away, he takes out a digital camera, taking a picture of a bra, underwear, and pantyhose lying on the bed in the approximate positions they'd be on a woman.
George opens up their closet, pushing aside clothing. He kneels down and sees a box. He opens it and begins pulling out various sexual toys: handcuffs, a riding whip, fuzzy handcuffs, and leather clothing.
CUT TO:
Doctor's Office
Rex sits on the examining table, buttoning his shirt. Bree sits in a chair off to the side.
Doctor: "So, here’s what I’m thinking. I’m gonna see if Dr. Morrison at the Lipstone Clinic in come in and consult."
Rex: "You’re wanna bring someone else in?"
Doctor: "Your body isn’t responding to the medication the way it should, and the tests we’ve run have all come back negative, so I, I just want to be on the safe side."
His pager goes off.
Doctor: "Excuse me. I need to take this."
He leaves the room.
Bree: "I don’t know why, but I have this overwhelming feeling that you’re gonna be just fine. I really do."
Rex: "Lee Craig has the biggest ego of any doctor I know. If he wants to consult with someone, that means he’s stumped, which means I’m screwed."
Bree: "Don’t say that."
Rex: "Dammit, Bree, do you understand what’s going on here? I could die."
Bree: "So could I."
Rex: "What?"
Bree: "I could walk across a street tomorrow and be hit by a car."
Rex: "What in god’s name is your point?"
Bree: "All I’m saying is that we’re both gonna die eventually, and in the time that we have left, whether it’s two days or two decades, I think that we should be nice to each other."
Rex: "You’re right."
CUT TO:
Martha Huber's House
The doorbell rings. Felicia opens the door to find Mike standing there.
Mike: "Um, Mrs. Tilman. Paul Young’s been missing the last couple of days have you seen him?"
Felicia: "Why ask me?"
Mike: "Well, I saw him leave a box on the door step and I've also seen Zach over here."
Felicia: "If I did know where Mr. Young was, why would I tell you?"
Mike: "Look, um, the police think I killed your sister, and I’m sure you do too, but I swear to you I had nothing to do with it."
Felicia: "And you think Paul Young did?"
Mike: "Well, no, that’s not what I’m saying."
Felicia: "You've got to admit, it’s a neat theory. Care for a snack?"
She walks away from the door, leaving it open. Mike stares after her, then follows.
Later, Mike sits at the kitchen table, reading through a journal while Felicia sets down a teapot with cups, then sits down, herself.
Felicia: "Okay so it’s not such a stretch, the wonder if Paul avenged his wife’s death by killing Martha for blackmailing them. But perhaps I’m alone in that."
Mike: "You’re not."
Felicia: "Aren’t you sweet? Tea?"
Mike: "Thanks. Do these journals say anything about why your sister was blackmailing the Youngs?"
Felicia: "Not specifically, but I got the definite impression that it involved a murder. Now here you are saying your friend was murdered."
Mike: "Any reason you haven't showed these to the police?"
Felicia: "Are you in favor of the death penalty?"
Mike: "Um, yeah."
Felicia: "So am I. We had it in Utah. Not in this state, though. A shame, don’t you agree?"
Mike: "Yeah, I do."
Felicia: "I like you so much, Mr. Delfino."
Mike: "You know where Paul Young is?"
Felicia: "I’m afraid not, but I know where he’ll be on Thursday night."
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House, Outside
"That afternoon after retrieving her mail, Gabrielle was surprised to finally learn the truth behind her pregnancy."
Gabrielle opens up a letter.
"Very surprised."
The rest of the mail drops out of her hands and lands on the ground.
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House, Inside
Carlos: "Hey babe, you want to go online and check out schools? What’s going on?"
Gabrielle: "I just want to say goodbye, because I’m leaving you."
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "You see, your health insurance sent us a letter because someone ordered a year's worth of birth control pills, and apparently our policy doesn’t cover drugs bought by the kilo."
Carlos: "I told you, it was mamá."
Gabrielle: "The prescription was dated, Carlos, and Juanita was in a coma when this claim was filed. You did this, not your mother. At least be man enough to own up to it. She would’ve been."
She storms out of the house and is halfway across the lawn when Carlos catches up to her and grabs her arm.
Carlos: "Stop."
Gabrielle: "Ah, ah, ah pregnant, cave man, remember?"
Carlos: "Where are you going?"
Gabrielle: "Away."
Carlos: "I’m going to jail. I’ll be gone tomorrow."
Gabrielle: "I know. That’s why I only packed one bag."
She starts to drive off in her car.
Carlos: "What about the baby Gabrielle, huh? What about my baby?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, your baby?"
Carlos: "Fine. Our baby. Hey, we’re a family now. This baby needs its mother and its father."
Gabrielle: "Oh Carlos. Whoever said you were the father?"
She drives off. Edie drives up and gets out of her car, holding a "Sold" sign.
Edie: "Hey."
Carlos begins walking quickly to her car. His ankle bracelet begins beeping.
Carlos: "Hey."
Edie: "Hey, what the hell are you doing?"
Carlos gets into her car and she quickly grabs her purse from the passenger's seat. Carlos drives off.
Edie: "Damn felon!"
Gabrielle and Carlos both drive.
In a parked police car, two cops sit. They get a call over the speaker from dispatch.
Speaker: "All units code D-1630 suspect is a violation of house arrest. Currently headed west on Park Boulevard."
Policeman: "Um, this is unit fourteen we’re on our way. Looks like the feds have a runner."
Policeman #2: "Lets go."
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Justin, in a robe, starts to take a bite of a sandwich, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. He answers it and finds Gabrielle there.
Gabrielle: "Is John here?"
Justin: "If I say no, are you gonna slap me again? He’s working. Why?"
Gabrielle: "I just left my husband."
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Outside
Carlos pulls up across the street from where Gabrielle's car is parked. He sees Gabrielle and Justin come out of the building and he slouches down so they can't see him. Gabrielle and Justin hug. Gabrielle walks to her car.
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Justin starts to take a bite of his sandwich, but again is interrupted by a knock on the door.
Justin: "Hang on."
He opens the door and finds Carlos there. Carlos punches him and as Justin falls to the floor, Carlos begins kicking him.
Carlos: "Think just because you mow my lawn you can bang my wife?"
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Outside
The policecar pulls up to where Carlos's car is parked. The cops get out and run towards the apartment.
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Carlos is still kicking Justin when the police rush in and grab Carlos.
Police: "Hey, hey, hey, get off."
They slam him against the wall.
CUT TO:
Peterson Advertising
Tom comes out of his office. He sees in Dan's office that Annabel is shaking Dan's hand and seems very happy. She leaves, smiling.
Tom: "Hey, what’s going on?"
Annabel: "Oh Tom, I have had the craziest day. This morning the guys from Mitchell and Currents called me in. They offered me a job."
Tom: "Well, are you gonna take it?"
Annabel: "Well, I told Peterson about it and they just upped their offer. He just made me vice president."
Tom: "Of what?"
Annabel: "Tom! The firm. He gave me Duggan’s old job. Isn’t that wild? I have to go tell Scotty. I’ll see you later."
Dan: "Oh Tom, I was just coming to find you."
Tom: "What the hell, Dan? I mean what the hell? You promoted Annabel over me?"
Dan: "She got another job offer. I couldn’t afford to lose her, not now."
Tom: "Well, guess what, you lose me, 'cause I quit."
Dan: "Tom, don’t overreact."
Tom: "No, the first time you pass me by, I took it like a good soldier, but since Duggan’s heart attack, I have already been doing the job, I’ve already been doing it, then you just hand it to Annabel?"
Dan: "Okay, you made your point."
Tom: "No, you make crappy decisions on a daily basis, Dan, I got to tell you, but this one this is the stupidest."
Dan: "Hey, watch yourself."
Tom: "You have been running this company in the ground since you got here. The way I see it, I’m getting out easy."
Dan: "All right, Scavo, you want to know why I gave that promotion to Annabel? Why she got the knot instead of you? It was Lynette."
Tom: "What?"
Dan: "She went to my wife and begged her to get me to kill your promotion. She said that if you start traveling more, it’s gonna hurt your family."
Tom: "She did that?"
Dan: "Now I feel like a chump for trying to help you guys out. I guess it was another one of my crappy decisions. Have your desk cleaned out by tonight."
Dan leaves.
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment
Two EMT men lift up a gurney that has Justin on it. Carlos, with his hands handcuffed behind him, sits on the couch.
Policeman: "You want to tell us what you have against this kid?"
Carlos: "It’s between him and me and my wife."
Policeman: "Is that what this is about? You’re doing his wife?"
Justin: "No. I’m gay."
Policeman: "You’re gay?"
Carlos: "What?"
Justin: "I’m gay."
Carlos: "This is not happening again."
Policeman #2: "What do you mean again?"
Carlos: "I want a lawyer."
CUT TO:
Supermarket
Bree is grocery shopping. George, also grocery shopping, comes down her aisle.
Bree: "George. Hi. What are you doing here?"
George: "I’m shopping, obviously."
Bree: "Why are you shopping here? You live on the other side of town."
George: "My friend had an operation. I’m buying her some things."
Bree: "Oh, well, that’s very nice of you."
George: "Wait, Bree, I have to tell you something."
Bree: "Well?"
George: "You need to tell Rex to be more discreet when it comes to discussing your love life."
Bree: "I’m sorry?"
George: "I don’t want to say anything more. You just really need to tell him that."
Bree: "Wait a minute. What in the world are you talking about?"
George: "I was at the hospital, visiting my friend who had had this operation, and I overheard two doctors talking about Rex’s fondness for S and M."
Bree: "You heard that?"
George: "Apparently he told them he has a box of toys? And gets you to do very inappropriate things."
Bree: "I see."
George: "Bree, this is clearly none of my business and I would’ve never brought this up, but to hear those two men laughing about you, I just thought you should know."
Bree: "Well, thank you for telling me, but I think, um, I’ve got to go."
She leaves. George walks over to her abandoned grocery cart and pops a grape into his mouth.
CUT TO:
Mike's House, Outside
Mike pulls his truck into his driveway. Susan comes out of the house.
Mike: "Hey, I got some more boxes."
Susan gives him a long kiss.
Mike: "That’s your answer for everything these days."
Susan: "So, what do you think we should do for dinner?"
Mike: "Oh, I, uh, can’t. I just got an emergency phone call. Busted water main."
Susan: "Okay, I’ll keep it warm for you."
Mike: "I’m afraid I'm gonna be too late for dinner."
Susan: "I wasn’t talking about dinner."
Mike brings some boxes into the house and Susan opens up the car door to remove some unfolded boxes in the backseat. She finds the journal that Mike had been reading, while having tea with Felicia.
Mike: "Need some help?"
Susan: "No, no, I got it. Um, I got it. So, if you've got a plumbing emergency shouldn’t you get going?"
Mike: "Um, they’ve already got somebody on it. I’m just a part of the relief crew."
Susan: "Well, I'll just get back to work."
CUT TO:
Mike's House, Outside, Nighttime
Susan and Julie sit in their car, across the street from Mike's house.
Julie: "Mom, stalking? Are we really doing this? You just made such a huge deal to your friends about how much you trust him now."
Susan: "Well, that’s before I found Mrs. Huber’s journal in his truck."
Julie: "So, what’s in it?"
Susan: "It’s not about what’s in it, it’s about the fact that he had it at all. I would bet you anything he is not going on a plumbing job and we’re gonna find out."
Julie: "Mom, if you don’t trust him, why are you moving in with him?"
Susan: "I don’t have time to explain adult relationships to you. Oh duck down."
Later, they drive.
Julie: "I think you lost him."
Susan: "He’s six cars up. We have to stay this far back or he’ll see us."
Julie: "Okay great, but we can’t see him either. I got to tell you, mom, you’re not great at this."
Susan: "Oh yeah? When your father was cheating on me I used to follow him all the time. I know my stuff. There he is."
Julie: "What’s Mike doing? Who's that he’s pulling up to?"
Susan: "I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out. Wait here and lock the doors."
She leaves and walks up to the SUV. She pulls open the door.
Susan: "All right what the hell are you up to?"
Inside the car is a man with a woman, both half undressed. They turn to stare at her.
Susan: "Oh my god, wow, um, okay oh, wow um, bye."
Woman in Truck: "Was that your wife?"
Man in Truck: "If that was my wife, you think I’d be here with you?"
Susan gets back in the car with Julie.
Julie: "It wasn’t Mike, was it?"
Susan: "No, no it wasn’t."
CUT TO:
Prison
In a visiting room, Gabrielle looks at a drawing of Carlos. She lowers the drawing and looks at Carlos, sitting across the table from her in an orange prison jumpsuit.
Gabrielle: "They’re charging you with a hate crime?"
Carlos: "You remember when our cable guy was beaten up? That was me. I thought you were cheating with him."
Gabrielle: "With our gay cable guy?"
Carlos: "I didn’t know he was gay. I didn’t know Justin was either. Now the cops think I’m some kind of serial gay basher."
Gabrielle: "Well you sort of are."
Carlos: "Well you provoked me. You were pretending to have an affair just to punish me."
Gabrielle: "Well, obviously."
Carlos: "So now, I need you to lie again. I need you to tell the cops you were having an affair and that I just beat up the wrong guy. Guys."
Gabrielle: "I am not lying for you, Carlos."
Carlos: "Gabby, if this charge sticks, I get sent away for eight years."
Gabrielle: "Am I supposed to be impressed? Because of your little stunt with my birth control pills, I’ve lost my freedom for the next eighteen years."
Carlos: "Gabby please don’t do this. Gabby, don’t walk away. Gabby!"
Gabrielle leaves.
CUT TO:
Susan's Car
Susan and Julie drive back home.
Susan: "Okay next time I won’t bring my daughter to stalk my boyfriend. It was a slight error in judgment. Honey, please don’t give me the silent treatment."
Julie: "I’m not. Did you say you read this?"
Susan: "Yeah, part of it. Why?"
Julie: "Mrs. Huber was blackmailing Zach’s mom."
CUT TO:
Baseball Field, Nighttime
Paul stands by the bleachers, alone. He looks at his watch, then hears a noise.
Paul: "Zach?"
He turns and is punched in the face by Mike.
CUT TO:
Bree's House
Rex lies in bed, sleeping. Slowly, he wakes up and sees Bree sitting by the window, looking out.
Rex: "What are you doing up?"
Bree: "Couldn’t sleep, so I was just sitting here thinking."
Rex: "About what?"
Bree: "You really want to know?"
Rex: "Bree, I’m not feeling too hot right now so just tell me. What’s up?"
Bree: "I was thinking that the biggest mistake of my entire life was agreeing to marry you."
Rex: "Let me guess. I’ve done something wrong."
Bree: "Forcing me to share in your depraved pasttime wasn’t bad enough, you had to share my humiliation with your co-workers?"
Rex: "What?"
Bree: "Rex, everybody is talking about our sex life. Every sordid little detail right down to that box of perversions you keep in your closet."
Rex: "Bree, I, I never said anything to anyone. I swear to god."
Bree: "You’re a liar."
Rex: "Who told you this?"
Bree: "It doesn’t matter."
Rex: "It does matter because I never said anything."
Bree: "Well then how do people know because we both know that I wouldn’t say anything."
Rex: "Why would I tell people about what we do in bed?"
Bree: "I don’t know Rex. Maybe you were bragging or maybe you just subconsciously wanted to hurt me. Well, congratulations, you did it. I am officially destroyed."
Rex: "I didn’t say anything."
Bree: "I don’t believe you."
Rex: "Oh, oh."
Bree: "Rex? What is it?"
Rex: "I think I’m having a heart attack."
Bree: "No, you’re not."
Rex: "Bree, you’re gonna have to take me to the hospital."
Bree: "Um, all right. You, uh, go downstairs and I will be, I'll be right there."
She hands him his robe and he leaves the room.
Later, Rex sits at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the side of the rails, his eyes closed. Danielle comes down the stairs.
Danielle: "Daddy? What are you doing?"
Rex: "I’m waiting for your mother to take me to the emergency room."
Danielle: "What’s wrong?"
Rex: "I’m having a heart attack."
Danielle: "Oh my god. Where is she?"
Rex: "That’s a good question."
Danielle runs back upstairs and into Bree's bedroom, where Bree is calmly making the bed.
Danielle: "Daddy says he’s having a heart attack."
Bree: "I know. I’m gonna take him to the hospital."
Danielle: "Well when?"
Bree: "When I finish making the bed."
Danielle: "What?"
Bree: "I never leave the house with an unmade bed. You know that."
Danielle: "But daddy needs to go to the hospital."
Bree: "There. Now we can go."
She walks slowly past Danielle.
CUT TO:
Peterson Advertising, Nighttime
As a janitor mops the floors in the outer room, Tom puts his belongings into a box.
"Nothing is forever and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew."
CUT TO:
Jail Cell
Carlos holds a picture of Gabrielle and himself, while sitting in his jail cell.
"Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted."
CUT TO:
Hospital
Lying on a gurney, Rex is wheeled away. Standing by a nurses station, Bree watches him go.
"Goodbye to those we though would never abandon us."
CUT TO:
Outside
A moving van pulls up to the Mullins' old house.
"And when these changes finally do occur, when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken its place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome."
A teenager gets out of the driver's side and goes around the van to the passenger side, where he opens the door. A woman steps out and the two of them look at the house, then walk up to the front door.
The End
===== DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES =====
ORIGINAL AIRDATE : Mon, May 15th, 2005 @ 10pm (ABC)
WRITTEN BY JOSH SENTER
DIRECTED BY DAVID GROSSMAN
==========================
TRANSCRIPT:
==========================
Teaser
Edie Britt sits in her car at the construction site. She checks her appearance in the rearview mirror, then gets out of the car.
"Edie Britt’s favorite moment of every day was her arrival at the construction site of her new home, because she knew what was about to happen. Her sudden appearance was always sure to generate a few appreciative glances, a few lascivious looks, and some downright ogling. Sadly for Edie, the one man she wanted most to notice her..."
Edie looks across the street to where Mike Delfino is bringing in the newspaper. She smiles and raises her hand in greeting, but he doesn't notice her.
"...paid her no attention at all. Yes, Edie needed attention to feel good about herself and she was determined to get it."
A construction worker walks over to her.
Cyrus: "Ms. Britt, you look extra beautiful today."
Edie: "Oh, Cyrus, you’re so sweet."
Cyrus: "So anyhow, I, I was wondering if maybe I could, uh, take you out to dinner sometime."
Edie: "Oh honey, you are so far out of your league that you are playing a completely different sport."
She takes a box of doughnuts from the top of his car and walks across the street, where she knocks on Mike's door. Mike answers.
Edie: "Hey, there."
Mike: "Hi Edie. What’s up?"
Edie: "Nice ensemble, you busy?"
Mike: "No, not really."
Edie: "Oh good, I bought a bunch of fresh doughnuts for my construction workers and as you can see, I bought a few too many, so I thought maybe you and I could -"
Susan appears at the doorway, next to Mike.
Edie: "Susan!"
Susan: "Hey there Edie."
Edie: "What are you -"
Susan: "Mike and I got back together."
Edie: "Super."
Susan: "I knew you’d be happy for us. So what’s going on?"
Mike: "Uh, Edie was just about to -"
Edie: "Free doughnuts. Want em’ or not?"
Susan: "How sweet, thanks. Why don’t you go put these on a plate? Oh, and save me one with sprinkles."
Mike goes into the kitchen.
Susan: "I cannot believe you are still coming onto him."
Edie: "You said you two were finished. You thought he was a murderer."
Susan: "And that was your cue to come over and flirt? You wasted your time and your doughnuts."
Edie: "Not if you choke on them."
Mike: "Well, thanks Edie. The doughnuts look great."
Edie: "Pleasure. See ya."
Susan: "You know, I’m gonna run home and get some milk to go with those doughnuts."
Mike: "Hey, you know it’s, it's a shame you got to keep running back and forth."
Susan: "Well, I can’t have doughnuts and juice. It’s unnatural."
Mike: "No, I mean we should move in together. Come on, what do you say?"
Susan: "Um, I say, oh! Hold that thought. Edie, Edie stop! Stop! Hang on."
Edie: "What now?"
Susan: "Oh, I was just rude back there gloating and everything and I apologize."
Edie: "Well, thank you, Susan. Very big of you."
Susan: "And on a completely unrelated topic, Mike and I are moving in together. See ya."
She runs back to Mike.
"Yes, Edie Britt needed the attention of men to feel good about herself."
Edie pulls up in her car to the construction site.
Edie: "Hey, Cyrus. You have lunch plans?"
Cyrus: "No."
"And even she was amazed at how far she was willing to go to get it."
Edie: "Ellsberg Hotel. Half an hour. Welcome to the majors."
She drives off.
CUT TO:
Credits
CUT TO:
Wisteria Lane, Outside
"Mr. And Mrs. Edward Mullins were finally leaving Wisteria Lane. In the past year their street had played host to arson, violence, blackmail, and murder. Fearing they too would be infected by this moral decay, the Mullins felt it was time to say goodbye. Strangely enough none of their neighbors seemed to notice they were moving out."
The Mullins get into their packed car and drive off.
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House
Gabrielle comes out of her house to where Justin is mowing the front lawn.
Gabrielle: "Hey, I thought you might be thirsty."
Justin: "No, I’m good."
Gabrielle: "So, how’s your roommate doing?"
Justin: "He’s hanging in there."
Gabrielle: "Well, uh, I had to, um, tell him some news that was a little bit upsetting for him."
Justin: "No kidding."
Gabrielle: "Excuse me?"
Justin: "Where do you get off telling John he’s not good enough to raise a child? That kid can be his."
Gabrielle: "It is a complicated situation."
Justin: "It seems pretty simple to me. You’re an unfeeling bitch."
From inside the house, Carlos looks out of the window and sees Gabrielle slap Justin across the face. Gabrielle storms inside and heads up the stairs.
Carlos: "Why’d you hit the lawn boy?"
Gabrielle: "Well if you saw what he did to our pogonias you’d slap him too."
CUT TO:
Peterson Advertising
Lynette walks into Tom's workplace, carrying a large cake with the words "Welcome Back Duggan!" written on it. She walks into the office that Tom and Annabel share.
Lynette: "Hey."
Tom: "Hey Lynette what are you doing here? What’s this?"
Lynette: "You told me Duggan’s coming back to work today, I thought I’d do something special for him."
Tom: "Uh huh, and this wouldn’t have anything to do with you checking up on me and Annabel?"
Lynette: "What?"
Tom: "Yesterday you brought my pictures of the kids. The day before that you brought me soup. Lynette, honey, it's gotta stop."
Lynette: "Tom, I don’t care about you working with Annabel. I told you that. This is for Duggan. He had a heart attack. I don’t care about Annabel."
Annabel walks past them to leave the room.
Annabel: "Hey, Lynette."
Lynette: "Huh. Speak of the devil. And I mean that."
Carrying the cake, Lynette leaves and follows Annabel into the office kitchen.
Annabel: "Well, you’re becoming a regular fixture around here, aren’t ya?"
Lynette: "Oh, yeah. I wanted to do something nice for Duggan."
Annabel: "I suppose filling his blood stream with butter fat might be considered nice."
Lynette: "Actually, it’s fruit juice sweetened. Can I cut you? A piece?"
From outside of the kitchen, a man's voice is heard.
Man: "Everyone, I need to see you right now."
Inside a conference room, a grey-haired man, Dan, speaks to the employees standing around the room.
Dan: "Okay listen up. I just spoke with Tim Duggan’s wife and it looks like he’s not gonna be returning to work after all. Seems that he had a relapse last night which unfortunately puts us in a very tight spot. We’re gonna work together as a team and do what we need to do, so Jerry you're taking the Holister account, Suzanne, you're covering Paradise Springs, and Annabel, I want you to take the lead on the Traveler’s hotel chain. You’re leaving for Hawaii in three days."
Annabel: "I can’t handle Traveler’s by myself, especially not if they're moving into the print."
Dan: "Well, choose someone to take with you."
Annabel: "Oh, okay. Um, I choose Tom."
Lynette, holding the knife that she used to cut the cake, steps forward and Tom automatically puts his hand out to stop her.
CUT TO:
Mini-Golf World
Bree and George play miniature golf together.
Bree: "Well, let’s see I’ve beaten you to bridge, and mahjong and hearts. This is your last chance to redeem yourself."
George: "Stop it. You’re gonna make me laugh."
As George lines up his shot, Bree, standing behind him, walks her fingers over his back. He turns to look at her.
Bree: "Okay, okay, I’ll be good."
She walks around to his side and whispers in his ear.
Bree: "Miss it, miss it, miss it."
George: "Bree."
Bree: "Come on, I'm allowed to psych you out."
She walks a little bit away and suddenly George gets a worried look on his face. He turns his feet in and hunches over, not moving.
Bree: "Okay, time’s up. Take your best shot."
George: "I’m not ready yet."
Bree: "Hurry up. There're people waiting."
George: "One more minute."
Bree: "Come on, take your best -"
She reaches out and swipes gently at his arm. He pulls his arm away, still hunched over.
George: "Don’t do that."
Bree: "George, do you have an erection?"
George: "I’m sorry."
Bree: "What on earth?"
George: "You were blowing on my ear."
Bree: "I was teasing you."
George: "Exactly."
Bree: "You have got to get rid of it. There are children present."
George: "How?"
Bree: "I don’t know. Um, um think of something unpleasant."
George: "Like what?"
Bree: "Like famine, or disease, or hobos. Whatever. Just hurry."
Later, they walk away from the golf course.
George: "Look, you can’t be mad about it. It’s not something men can control."
Bree: "I kept this friendship going because I though Rex’s dislike of you was paranoid, but you had feelings for me all along. God, this is just such a betrayal."
George: "Come on, Bree. The only thing I am guilty of is loving you in silence."
Bree: "Well you shouldn’t be doing that. In case you’ve forgotten I’m married."
George: "To a selfish, two-faced liar who betrayed you with a hooker."
Bree: "I told you in confidence. How dare you throw it back in my face."
George: "So, you’re ending our friendship, after everything I’ve done for you?"
Bree: "What is that supposed to mean?"
George: "Nothing. It didn’t mean anything."
Bree: "George, I do love you as a friend. I wish you could love me the same way back, but since you can’t, goodbye."
She walks off.
CUT TO:
Edie's House
"Later that day, Edie Britt witnessed something disturbing."
Edie looks out of her window and sees Mike, carrying a moving box, kissing Susan.
"Something she was determined to put a stop to."
CUT TO:
Lynette's House
Bree, Lynette, and Gabrielle sit around the table, preparing for poker. Edie comes in from the living room.
Gabrielle: "So is Susan coming?"
Lynette: "She said she might be a little late. They already started moving a few of Mike’s things over to her house."
Bree: "Already? Wow, good for her."
Lynette: "Yeah, it’s nice to see Susan so happy again."
Edie: "Yeah, I’m happy for Susan. But don’t you think she and Mike are moving a little fast? I mean two days ago, she was thinking he was a murderer and now she’s moving in with him?"
Gabrielle: "She found out it was in self-defense. I think they’ve cleared everything up."
Bree: "Yeah good point."
Lynette: "Mike's a decent guy."
Edie: "Yeah, that’s true. Of course there was the gun shot wound."
Lynette: "That’s right. Did they ever explain that?"
Bree: "No, and I know guns and that wound was not self-inflicted."
Edie: "And then what about Mrs. Huber’s blood-stained jewelry?"
Lynette: "Yeah, that didn’t walk into Mike’s garage by itself."
Gabrielle: "Maybe this is a mistake. If there’s one thing I’ve learned men can’t be trusted."
Edie: "Hold it. Are you saying that we should put a stop to this?"
Bree: "Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to sit her down and share our concerns."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, we could do that."
Lynette: "Yeah."
Bree: "Edie, do you want to be a part of it?"
Edie: "Well normally, I’d prefer not to get involved, but if there’s anyway that I could help Susan..."
CUT TO:
Susan's Garage
Susan comes out to take a box from Mike, who's truck is parked on her driveway.
Susan: "We need to talk."
Mike: "Okay."
Susan: "When I was packing up your stuff in your bedroom, I found a box of bullets."
Mike: "Oh."
Susan: "Look, I feel really bad about Deirdre, and I know that you must want to find out who killed her, but if we’re gonna move in together, we can’t have this stuff hanging over us. You've gotta get rid of it. All of it: the file, the map, the gun, especially the gun and leave this to the police. They’re the professionals."
Mike: "Well, what can I say? It seems like a reasonable request."
Susan: "Oh. Really? Well, that was easy. Maybe after lunch we can talk about your leather bean bag chair."
Mike smiles and as Susan walks back in, he looks down the street. He sees Paul get out of his car, leave a box filled with items on a Martha Huber's doorstep, then get back in his car and drive away.
CUT TO:
Martha Huber's House
Zach and Felicia sit at the kitchen table. The box from Paul is sitting on the table and Paul is reading from a note.
Zach: "I realize now that I’ve treated you badly. I’m the one who needs to get help not you, so I have to go away for a while, in the meantime Mrs. Tilman will look out for you."
Felicia: "I don’t consider it a burden. You know you’re welcome here."
Zach: "I left you some things, I hope you can take comfort in them. I got you a new mitt. Work on your curve ball while I’m gone. I love you. Dad. Well, I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t he come see me? Why just run away?"
Felicia: "Your father’s been very troubled, dear. I’m sure he did what he felt was best for you."
Zach: "And he wants me to take comfort in this junk? I hate baseball. You think he would know that."
Felicia: "Zach."
Zach runs away from the room. Felicia picks up a photo of Mary Alice that Zach knocked down. She begins cleaning up the rest of the items he knocked to the floor. She picks up the baseball mitt and after a second, she slips her hand into the mitt. She pulls out a note hidden in the mitt. It reads: "Zach, I didn’t leave you. Meet me at the baseball field - Thursday at midnight. Dad"
Felicia crumples the note in her hand.
CUT TO:
Bree's House, Nighttime
Gabrielle looks out the window.
Gabrielle: "Susan’s coming."
Edie: "Okay guys. Interventions are never pretty, so stay strong cause she’s probably gonna cry."
The doorbell rings. Bree goes to answer it while Edie, Gabrielle, and Lynette line up near the couch.
Susan: "Bonjour. Oh hi, I didn’t know that the cooking lesson was gonna be a group activity. Well, the more the merrier, right? As long as nobody makes fun of my lousy crepes. How come I’m the only one wearing the apron?"
Later, all five women sit around the table, with coffee cups in front of them.
Lynette: "I know it seems like we’re ganging up on you, but you’re moving so fast we thought a sort of intervention was necessary."
Edie: "I know it’s tough to hear. None of us wanted to do this."
Susan: "I appreciate what you guys are trying to do, I really do. Um, I’m not gonna change my mind. In my life, I’ve been hurt a lot, Karl, and uh, well it’s just taught me to be cynical, and to expect the absolute worst from people, and I don’t want to live like that anymore, and when Mike asked me to move in with him, I was just happy, just ridiculously happy. I mean, I still am and I want to go with that feeling. I love him and I love him! So I’m gonna expect the best from Mike, and I know that he is gonna deliver that in return. Okay?"
Bree, Lynette, and Gabrielle lean to her and give her assurances.
Edie: "This is the worst intervention I have ever been to."
CUT TO:
Restaurant
Baby Penny sits in a high chair while Lynette has lunch with Natalie.
Natalie: "This is fun. It’s forever since we had lunch."
Lynette: "Well, as happy as I am to see you, I actually have an agenda. I ran into someone last week who said you guys were looking to hire. Is that true?"
Natalie: "Yeah. Are you thinking of coming back? Because say the word -"
Lynette: "No, no, not me. I was actually thinking more about Tom."
Natalie: "Oh, Tom?"
Lynette: "Yeah, he’s been thinking about making a move for a while. He kind of feels like he’s done everything he can where he is now."
Natalie: "Huh. Well Tom's certainly solid."
Lynette: "He’s more then solid, Tom’s ideas are spectacular. He’s passionate about his work. His visual instincts are off the chart."
Natalie: "Is he as good as you?"
Lynette: "He’s apples, I’m oranges, we excel in different areas. Trust me, you should give Tom a look."
Natalie: "I don’t need apples. I need someone like you. Cut throat. Ruthless."
Lynette: "Geez, Nat, you make me feel like some kind of shark. Ah, okay. You know, actually, if that’s the kind of exec you’re looking for..."
Natalie: "You’d get a shark for me?"
Lynette: "Yes, a very pretty shark."
CUT TO:
Bree's House, Outside
Bree gets into her car and drives off. Down the street, George watches. Once the car has driven away, he gets out and goes up to Bree's house.
CUT TO:
Bree's House, Inside
George spills out Rex's prescription bottle. He fills it up with pills that he brought with him.
In their bedroom, George opens up various dresser drawers. He comes to Bree's underwear drawer and stops, staring at the panties lying neatly in there.
He lays down some pantyhose on the bed and when he pulls away, he takes out a digital camera, taking a picture of a bra, underwear, and pantyhose lying on the bed in the approximate positions they'd be on a woman.
George opens up their closet, pushing aside clothing. He kneels down and sees a box. He opens it and begins pulling out various sexual toys: handcuffs, a riding whip, fuzzy handcuffs, and leather clothing.
CUT TO:
Doctor's Office
Rex sits on the examining table, buttoning his shirt. Bree sits in a chair off to the side.
Doctor: "So, here’s what I’m thinking. I’m gonna see if Dr. Morrison at the Lipstone Clinic in come in and consult."
Rex: "You’re wanna bring someone else in?"
Doctor: "Your body isn’t responding to the medication the way it should, and the tests we’ve run have all come back negative, so I, I just want to be on the safe side."
His pager goes off.
Doctor: "Excuse me. I need to take this."
He leaves the room.
Bree: "I don’t know why, but I have this overwhelming feeling that you’re gonna be just fine. I really do."
Rex: "Lee Craig has the biggest ego of any doctor I know. If he wants to consult with someone, that means he’s stumped, which means I’m screwed."
Bree: "Don’t say that."
Rex: "Dammit, Bree, do you understand what’s going on here? I could die."
Bree: "So could I."
Rex: "What?"
Bree: "I could walk across a street tomorrow and be hit by a car."
Rex: "What in god’s name is your point?"
Bree: "All I’m saying is that we’re both gonna die eventually, and in the time that we have left, whether it’s two days or two decades, I think that we should be nice to each other."
Rex: "You’re right."
CUT TO:
Martha Huber's House
The doorbell rings. Felicia opens the door to find Mike standing there.
Mike: "Um, Mrs. Tilman. Paul Young’s been missing the last couple of days have you seen him?"
Felicia: "Why ask me?"
Mike: "Well, I saw him leave a box on the door step and I've also seen Zach over here."
Felicia: "If I did know where Mr. Young was, why would I tell you?"
Mike: "Look, um, the police think I killed your sister, and I’m sure you do too, but I swear to you I had nothing to do with it."
Felicia: "And you think Paul Young did?"
Mike: "Well, no, that’s not what I’m saying."
Felicia: "You've got to admit, it’s a neat theory. Care for a snack?"
She walks away from the door, leaving it open. Mike stares after her, then follows.
Later, Mike sits at the kitchen table, reading through a journal while Felicia sets down a teapot with cups, then sits down, herself.
Felicia: "Okay so it’s not such a stretch, the wonder if Paul avenged his wife’s death by killing Martha for blackmailing them. But perhaps I’m alone in that."
Mike: "You’re not."
Felicia: "Aren’t you sweet? Tea?"
Mike: "Thanks. Do these journals say anything about why your sister was blackmailing the Youngs?"
Felicia: "Not specifically, but I got the definite impression that it involved a murder. Now here you are saying your friend was murdered."
Mike: "Any reason you haven't showed these to the police?"
Felicia: "Are you in favor of the death penalty?"
Mike: "Um, yeah."
Felicia: "So am I. We had it in Utah. Not in this state, though. A shame, don’t you agree?"
Mike: "Yeah, I do."
Felicia: "I like you so much, Mr. Delfino."
Mike: "You know where Paul Young is?"
Felicia: "I’m afraid not, but I know where he’ll be on Thursday night."
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House, Outside
"That afternoon after retrieving her mail, Gabrielle was surprised to finally learn the truth behind her pregnancy."
Gabrielle opens up a letter.
"Very surprised."
The rest of the mail drops out of her hands and lands on the ground.
CUT TO:
Gabrielle's House, Inside
Carlos: "Hey babe, you want to go online and check out schools? What’s going on?"
Gabrielle: "I just want to say goodbye, because I’m leaving you."
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "You see, your health insurance sent us a letter because someone ordered a year's worth of birth control pills, and apparently our policy doesn’t cover drugs bought by the kilo."
Carlos: "I told you, it was mamá."
Gabrielle: "The prescription was dated, Carlos, and Juanita was in a coma when this claim was filed. You did this, not your mother. At least be man enough to own up to it. She would’ve been."
She storms out of the house and is halfway across the lawn when Carlos catches up to her and grabs her arm.
Carlos: "Stop."
Gabrielle: "Ah, ah, ah pregnant, cave man, remember?"
Carlos: "Where are you going?"
Gabrielle: "Away."
Carlos: "I’m going to jail. I’ll be gone tomorrow."
Gabrielle: "I know. That’s why I only packed one bag."
She starts to drive off in her car.
Carlos: "What about the baby Gabrielle, huh? What about my baby?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, your baby?"
Carlos: "Fine. Our baby. Hey, we’re a family now. This baby needs its mother and its father."
Gabrielle: "Oh Carlos. Whoever said you were the father?"
She drives off. Edie drives up and gets out of her car, holding a "Sold" sign.
Edie: "Hey."
Carlos begins walking quickly to her car. His ankle bracelet begins beeping.
Carlos: "Hey."
Edie: "Hey, what the hell are you doing?"
Carlos gets into her car and she quickly grabs her purse from the passenger's seat. Carlos drives off.
Edie: "Damn felon!"
Gabrielle and Carlos both drive.
In a parked police car, two cops sit. They get a call over the speaker from dispatch.
Speaker: "All units code D-1630 suspect is a violation of house arrest. Currently headed west on Park Boulevard."
Policeman: "Um, this is unit fourteen we’re on our way. Looks like the feds have a runner."
Policeman #2: "Lets go."
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Justin, in a robe, starts to take a bite of a sandwich, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. He answers it and finds Gabrielle there.
Gabrielle: "Is John here?"
Justin: "If I say no, are you gonna slap me again? He’s working. Why?"
Gabrielle: "I just left my husband."
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Outside
Carlos pulls up across the street from where Gabrielle's car is parked. He sees Gabrielle and Justin come out of the building and he slouches down so they can't see him. Gabrielle and Justin hug. Gabrielle walks to her car.
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Justin starts to take a bite of his sandwich, but again is interrupted by a knock on the door.
Justin: "Hang on."
He opens the door and finds Carlos there. Carlos punches him and as Justin falls to the floor, Carlos begins kicking him.
Carlos: "Think just because you mow my lawn you can bang my wife?"
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Outside
The policecar pulls up to where Carlos's car is parked. The cops get out and run towards the apartment.
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Carlos is still kicking Justin when the police rush in and grab Carlos.
Police: "Hey, hey, hey, get off."
They slam him against the wall.
CUT TO:
Peterson Advertising
Tom comes out of his office. He sees in Dan's office that Annabel is shaking Dan's hand and seems very happy. She leaves, smiling.
Tom: "Hey, what’s going on?"
Annabel: "Oh Tom, I have had the craziest day. This morning the guys from Mitchell and Currents called me in. They offered me a job."
Tom: "Well, are you gonna take it?"
Annabel: "Well, I told Peterson about it and they just upped their offer. He just made me vice president."
Tom: "Of what?"
Annabel: "Tom! The firm. He gave me Duggan’s old job. Isn’t that wild? I have to go tell Scotty. I’ll see you later."
Dan: "Oh Tom, I was just coming to find you."
Tom: "What the hell, Dan? I mean what the hell? You promoted Annabel over me?"
Dan: "She got another job offer. I couldn’t afford to lose her, not now."
Tom: "Well, guess what, you lose me, 'cause I quit."
Dan: "Tom, don’t overreact."
Tom: "No, the first time you pass me by, I took it like a good soldier, but since Duggan’s heart attack, I have already been doing the job, I’ve already been doing it, then you just hand it to Annabel?"
Dan: "Okay, you made your point."
Tom: "No, you make crappy decisions on a daily basis, Dan, I got to tell you, but this one this is the stupidest."
Dan: "Hey, watch yourself."
Tom: "You have been running this company in the ground since you got here. The way I see it, I’m getting out easy."
Dan: "All right, Scavo, you want to know why I gave that promotion to Annabel? Why she got the knot instead of you? It was Lynette."
Tom: "What?"
Dan: "She went to my wife and begged her to get me to kill your promotion. She said that if you start traveling more, it’s gonna hurt your family."
Tom: "She did that?"
Dan: "Now I feel like a chump for trying to help you guys out. I guess it was another one of my crappy decisions. Have your desk cleaned out by tonight."
Dan leaves.
CUT TO:
John and Justin's Apartment
Two EMT men lift up a gurney that has Justin on it. Carlos, with his hands handcuffed behind him, sits on the couch.
Policeman: "You want to tell us what you have against this kid?"
Carlos: "It’s between him and me and my wife."
Policeman: "Is that what this is about? You’re doing his wife?"
Justin: "No. I’m gay."
Policeman: "You’re gay?"
Carlos: "What?"
Justin: "I’m gay."
Carlos: "This is not happening again."
Policeman #2: "What do you mean again?"
Carlos: "I want a lawyer."
CUT TO:
Supermarket
Bree is grocery shopping. George, also grocery shopping, comes down her aisle.
Bree: "George. Hi. What are you doing here?"
George: "I’m shopping, obviously."
Bree: "Why are you shopping here? You live on the other side of town."
George: "My friend had an operation. I’m buying her some things."
Bree: "Oh, well, that’s very nice of you."
George: "Wait, Bree, I have to tell you something."
Bree: "Well?"
George: "You need to tell Rex to be more discreet when it comes to discussing your love life."
Bree: "I’m sorry?"
George: "I don’t want to say anything more. You just really need to tell him that."
Bree: "Wait a minute. What in the world are you talking about?"
George: "I was at the hospital, visiting my friend who had had this operation, and I overheard two doctors talking about Rex’s fondness for S and M."
Bree: "You heard that?"
George: "Apparently he told them he has a box of toys? And gets you to do very inappropriate things."
Bree: "I see."
George: "Bree, this is clearly none of my business and I would’ve never brought this up, but to hear those two men laughing about you, I just thought you should know."
Bree: "Well, thank you for telling me, but I think, um, I’ve got to go."
She leaves. George walks over to her abandoned grocery cart and pops a grape into his mouth.
CUT TO:
Mike's House, Outside
Mike pulls his truck into his driveway. Susan comes out of the house.
Mike: "Hey, I got some more boxes."
Susan gives him a long kiss.
Mike: "That’s your answer for everything these days."
Susan: "So, what do you think we should do for dinner?"
Mike: "Oh, I, uh, can’t. I just got an emergency phone call. Busted water main."
Susan: "Okay, I’ll keep it warm for you."
Mike: "I’m afraid I'm gonna be too late for dinner."
Susan: "I wasn’t talking about dinner."
Mike brings some boxes into the house and Susan opens up the car door to remove some unfolded boxes in the backseat. She finds the journal that Mike had been reading, while having tea with Felicia.
Mike: "Need some help?"
Susan: "No, no, I got it. Um, I got it. So, if you've got a plumbing emergency shouldn’t you get going?"
Mike: "Um, they’ve already got somebody on it. I’m just a part of the relief crew."
Susan: "Well, I'll just get back to work."
CUT TO:
Mike's House, Outside, Nighttime
Susan and Julie sit in their car, across the street from Mike's house.
Julie: "Mom, stalking? Are we really doing this? You just made such a huge deal to your friends about how much you trust him now."
Susan: "Well, that’s before I found Mrs. Huber’s journal in his truck."
Julie: "So, what’s in it?"
Susan: "It’s not about what’s in it, it’s about the fact that he had it at all. I would bet you anything he is not going on a plumbing job and we’re gonna find out."
Julie: "Mom, if you don’t trust him, why are you moving in with him?"
Susan: "I don’t have time to explain adult relationships to you. Oh duck down."
Later, they drive.
Julie: "I think you lost him."
Susan: "He’s six cars up. We have to stay this far back or he’ll see us."
Julie: "Okay great, but we can’t see him either. I got to tell you, mom, you’re not great at this."
Susan: "Oh yeah? When your father was cheating on me I used to follow him all the time. I know my stuff. There he is."
Julie: "What’s Mike doing? Who's that he’s pulling up to?"
Susan: "I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out. Wait here and lock the doors."
She leaves and walks up to the SUV. She pulls open the door.
Susan: "All right what the hell are you up to?"
Inside the car is a man with a woman, both half undressed. They turn to stare at her.
Susan: "Oh my god, wow, um, okay oh, wow um, bye."
Woman in Truck: "Was that your wife?"
Man in Truck: "If that was my wife, you think I’d be here with you?"
Susan gets back in the car with Julie.
Julie: "It wasn’t Mike, was it?"
Susan: "No, no it wasn’t."
CUT TO:
Prison
In a visiting room, Gabrielle looks at a drawing of Carlos. She lowers the drawing and looks at Carlos, sitting across the table from her in an orange prison jumpsuit.
Gabrielle: "They’re charging you with a hate crime?"
Carlos: "You remember when our cable guy was beaten up? That was me. I thought you were cheating with him."
Gabrielle: "With our gay cable guy?"
Carlos: "I didn’t know he was gay. I didn’t know Justin was either. Now the cops think I’m some kind of serial gay basher."
Gabrielle: "Well you sort of are."
Carlos: "Well you provoked me. You were pretending to have an affair just to punish me."
Gabrielle: "Well, obviously."
Carlos: "So now, I need you to lie again. I need you to tell the cops you were having an affair and that I just beat up the wrong guy. Guys."
Gabrielle: "I am not lying for you, Carlos."
Carlos: "Gabby, if this charge sticks, I get sent away for eight years."
Gabrielle: "Am I supposed to be impressed? Because of your little stunt with my birth control pills, I’ve lost my freedom for the next eighteen years."
Carlos: "Gabby please don’t do this. Gabby, don’t walk away. Gabby!"
Gabrielle leaves.
CUT TO:
Susan's Car
Susan and Julie drive back home.
Susan: "Okay next time I won’t bring my daughter to stalk my boyfriend. It was a slight error in judgment. Honey, please don’t give me the silent treatment."
Julie: "I’m not. Did you say you read this?"
Susan: "Yeah, part of it. Why?"
Julie: "Mrs. Huber was blackmailing Zach’s mom."
CUT TO:
Baseball Field, Nighttime
Paul stands by the bleachers, alone. He looks at his watch, then hears a noise.
Paul: "Zach?"
He turns and is punched in the face by Mike.
CUT TO:
Bree's House
Rex lies in bed, sleeping. Slowly, he wakes up and sees Bree sitting by the window, looking out.
Rex: "What are you doing up?"
Bree: "Couldn’t sleep, so I was just sitting here thinking."
Rex: "About what?"
Bree: "You really want to know?"
Rex: "Bree, I’m not feeling too hot right now so just tell me. What’s up?"
Bree: "I was thinking that the biggest mistake of my entire life was agreeing to marry you."
Rex: "Let me guess. I’ve done something wrong."
Bree: "Forcing me to share in your depraved pasttime wasn’t bad enough, you had to share my humiliation with your co-workers?"
Rex: "What?"
Bree: "Rex, everybody is talking about our sex life. Every sordid little detail right down to that box of perversions you keep in your closet."
Rex: "Bree, I, I never said anything to anyone. I swear to god."
Bree: "You’re a liar."
Rex: "Who told you this?"
Bree: "It doesn’t matter."
Rex: "It does matter because I never said anything."
Bree: "Well then how do people know because we both know that I wouldn’t say anything."
Rex: "Why would I tell people about what we do in bed?"
Bree: "I don’t know Rex. Maybe you were bragging or maybe you just subconsciously wanted to hurt me. Well, congratulations, you did it. I am officially destroyed."
Rex: "I didn’t say anything."
Bree: "I don’t believe you."
Rex: "Oh, oh."
Bree: "Rex? What is it?"
Rex: "I think I’m having a heart attack."
Bree: "No, you’re not."
Rex: "Bree, you’re gonna have to take me to the hospital."
Bree: "Um, all right. You, uh, go downstairs and I will be, I'll be right there."
She hands him his robe and he leaves the room.
Later, Rex sits at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the side of the rails, his eyes closed. Danielle comes down the stairs.
Danielle: "Daddy? What are you doing?"
Rex: "I’m waiting for your mother to take me to the emergency room."
Danielle: "What’s wrong?"
Rex: "I’m having a heart attack."
Danielle: "Oh my god. Where is she?"
Rex: "That’s a good question."
Danielle runs back upstairs and into Bree's bedroom, where Bree is calmly making the bed.
Danielle: "Daddy says he’s having a heart attack."
Bree: "I know. I’m gonna take him to the hospital."
Danielle: "Well when?"
Bree: "When I finish making the bed."
Danielle: "What?"
Bree: "I never leave the house with an unmade bed. You know that."
Danielle: "But daddy needs to go to the hospital."
Bree: "There. Now we can go."
She walks slowly past Danielle.
CUT TO:
Peterson Advertising, Nighttime
As a janitor mops the floors in the outer room, Tom puts his belongings into a box.
"Nothing is forever and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew."
CUT TO:
Jail Cell
Carlos holds a picture of Gabrielle and himself, while sitting in his jail cell.
"Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted."
CUT TO:
Hospital
Lying on a gurney, Rex is wheeled away. Standing by a nurses station, Bree watches him go.
"Goodbye to those we though would never abandon us."
CUT TO:
Outside
A moving van pulls up to the Mullins' old house.
"And when these changes finally do occur, when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken its place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome."
A teenager gets out of the driver's side and goes around the van to the passenger side, where he opens the door. A woman steps out and the two of them look at the house, then walk up to the front door.
The End
===== DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES =====
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES 1X21（英文剧本/free scripts)
1X21: SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE
Original Airdate on ABC: 08-MAY-2005 Written by Katie Ford
Directed by Larry Shaw
==========================
CAST:
==========================
Teri Hatcher as SUSAN MEYER
Felicity Huffman as LYNETTE SCAVO
Marcia Cross as BREE VAN DE KAMP
Eva Longoria as GABRIELLE SOLIS
Brenda Strong as MARY ALICE YOUNG / NARRATOR
James Denton as MIKE DELFINO
Steven Culp as REX VAN DE KAMP
Nicolette Sheridan as EDIE BRITTMark Moses as PAUL YOUNG
Ricardo Antonio Chavira as CARLOS SOLIS
Cody Kasch as ZACK YOUNG
Andrea Bowen as JULIE MEYER
Jesse Metcalfe as JOHN ROWLAND
Christine Estabrook as MRS. HUBER
Joy Lauren as DANIELLE VAN DE KAMP
Doug Sevant as TOM SCAVO
Zane Huett as PARKER SCAVO
Brent Kinsman as PRESTON SCAVO / PORTER SCAVO
Shane Kinsman as PRESTON SCAVO / PORTER SCAVO
==========================
Mary Alice Voiceover: Previously on Desperate Housewives
[INT – Mayer House – Kitchen – Day]
(Sophie and Susan are making dinner)
Sophie: I left Morty
(Susan turns around shocked at what her mother said)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Susan’s mother left quite an impression
[EXT – Car Park of Morty’s Restaurant – Day]
(Susan turns around to look out the restaurant window at her mother and Morty’s attempt at reconciliation – where Sophie ends up biting him on the arm)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Bree made a secret commitment
[INT – Pharmacy – Day]
.George: He’s not going to let us be friends
Bree: Who says he has to know how I spend my free time?
Mary Alice Voiceover: Gabrielle made a discovery
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Gabrielle hits her birth control pills and finds they’ve been tampered with)
[EXT – Solis House – Garden – Day]
(Gabrielle walks up to Carlos and slaps him across the face)
Gabrielle: I am pregnant and it is all your fault
Mary Alice Voiceover: Tom made a mistake
[INT – Peterson’s – Tom’s Office – Day]
(Tom is in the very awkward situation of having his jealous wife watching him with his playful ex-girlfriend)
[INT – Scavo House – Kitchen – Night]
Lynette: You hired your old girlfriend and you didn’t tell me for three months?
Mary Alice Voiceover: And Susan made an appointment….
[INT – Mayer House – Drawing Board – Day]
(Susan flicks through the Yellow Pages)
[INT – Hafts Detective Agency – Day]
Susan: Do you think you can help me?
PI: As a matter of fact, I know I can
End of Recap
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie is sat cross legged on a chair in her bedroom thinking about the past. She’s looking at her old engagement rings which are kept in a box and she looks very sad)
Mary Alice Voiceover: When she was younger, Sophie Bremner was a hopeless romantic. She was also hopelessly naïve, which was how she came to be married four times.
[INT – Casino – Night]
(A smartly dressed man slides an engagement ring across the table to a young Sophie with long straight hair who has her back to us)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The first time to a man who liked to gamble.
[INT – Bar – Night]
(A man dressed in a tacky blue suit slides an engagement ring across the bar to a young Sophie with short curly hair, and then takes a drink)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The second time to a man who liked to drink
[INT – Restaurant – Night]
(A man with long blond hair and a moustache, dressed in a bright shirt open to the chest which reveals a gold medallion slides an engagement ring across the table to a young Sophie with very short hair and gives her a huge smile)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The third time to a man who liked other men
[INT – Bar – Night]
(Ex-husband number 2 slides an engagement ring across the bar to a young Sophie with long curly hair, and then takes a drink)
Mary Alice Voiceover: And the fourth time to the same man she married the second time.
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie sadly touches her collection of engagement rings)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Yes, Sophie was tired of having her heart broken. So she decided she would never get married again
(Sophie closes the lid on the box of rings)
Mary Alice Voiceover: And then one night ….
Morty: (offscreen) Sophie!
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….She had visitor
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Outside Mayer House – Night]
(Morty is standing in the Mayer Garden shouting at the house)
Morty: Sophie!
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie goes to the window to see whats going on)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Outside Mayer House – Night]
(Susan opens the door, confused by whats happening)
Susan: Morty? What are you doing?
Morty: I need to talk to Sophie.
Susan: NOW? Are you drunk?
Morty: Just a little bit
(Susan ushers Morty inside)
Morty: How are you?
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie is still at the window. She bites her lip wondering whats going on. We see her creep downstairs to listen in on the conversation)
[INT – Mayer House – Living Room – Night]
Morty: I’ve got to speak to Sophie
Susan: Are you crazy? Its one o’clock in the morning. She’s sleeping
Morty: I’m gonna ask her to marry me
Susan: What?
Morty: I thought I could be happy. The restaurant is starting to make money. I just bought a new jet ski. My cholesterol is down. But none of it is any fun without her.
(Shots of Sophie listening at the door, her face lights up at what he says)
Susan: Ah, Morty. I just don’t think its going to happen. She’s moved on. Why don’t you sit down, I’ll call you a cab.
(Sophie enters into the room)
Morty: Sophie
Sophie: (quietly reprimanding him) Your doctor told you not to drink
Morty: Well there are times when you need liquid courage
(Morty hands her the engagement ring. Sophie gushes over it, then recognises it and her face falls)
Sophie: Did this ring belong to Delores?
Susan: You gave her your dead wife’s ring?
Morty: (to Susan) It’s a three carat diamond. She shouldn’t care if its used
Morty: (to Sophie) So what do you say, Soph?
Sophie: Alright
Morty: (excited) Really?!
Susan: (can’t believe it) Really???!!!!
Sophie: Yeah
(Morty goes to hug Sophie, but she stops him)
Sophie: (whispers) But you’ve got to do it officially…you know
(Sophie points down, so that he’ll get down on one knee)
Morty: Oh! Oh, um
(Morty looks to Susan for help – he’s getting on a bit and needs help getting down on one knee - Susan provides a cushion for his knee and something to lean on as he goes down)
Morty: Sophie will you do me the honour of marrying me?
(All through this Sophie is smiling down at him)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Sophie Bremner was still a hopeless romantic….
Sophie: On one condition. Tomorrow we trade this in for a ring of my own and I want a bigger diamond than Delores got.
(Morty looks at Susan behind him – thinking what have I let myself in for. Susan just smiles back at him)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….But she was no longer naïve.
(While the happy couple gaze happily at each other, Susan has a look on her face that shows she clearly thinks they are crazy)
Opening Credits
(shots of the various couple’s wedding photos)
[Paul and Mary Alice Young’s wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: Marriage is a simple concept.
[Bree and Rex Van Der Kamp’s wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: Basically it is a contract between two people ….
[Lynette and Tom Scavo’s wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….That binds them together for life….
[Gabrielle and Carlos Solis’ wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….In the hopes that they can live happily ever after.
[INT – Solis House – Living Room – Day]
Mary Alice Voiceover: Sadly some contracts….
(The shot pans out and we see a plate smash against the wall, and Carlos ducks from the shards)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….Are meant to be broken
(We see Gabrielle getting ready to hurl another plate in Carlos’ direction)
Carlos: I didn’t mess with your birth control
Gabrielle: Oh really?!
Carlos: Really!
(Gabrielle puts the plate down and shows Carlos the tampered with pill packet)
Gabrielle: Look! Its been pulled apart and glued back together.
Carlos: Its probably a manufacturing defect
Gabrielle: You can still see the glue marks!
Carlos: I’m telling you I didn’t do it
Gabrielle: Don’t insult me Carlos! You’ve been whining about wanting a baby for months. Who else could it have been?
Carlos: Oh….I… (has a brainwave and sees a way to get out of the bad situation) Oh No.
Gabrielle: What?
Carlos: Mama!
Gabrielle: Oh please!
Carlos: Its possible. You buy that stuff in bulk, six months at a time right?
Gabrielle: Yeah, so?
Carlos: Before the accident I told her how much I wanted a child. And she said that she would take care of it. I just thought that she would talk to you. Baby I am so sorry
(cue dramatic music while we pause for a second – will Gabrielle buy his excuse or not?)
Gabrielle: That Bitch! I can’t believe her!
Carlos: I loved her, but even I had issues sometimes. She could be very controlling.
Gabrielle: Reaching out from the grave to screw with me. God she’s good
Carlos: Where are you going?
Gabrielle: I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on and I want to be standing on your mother’s grave when it hits
(Gabrielle puts on her sunglasses and walks out of the house. Carlos sighs with relief and falls backwards on to the sofa)
[INT – Scavo House – Kitchen – Day]
(Lynette is feeding the baby and is looking completely bedraggled. Tom is fusing about getting ready for work)
Tom: Honey, I’m going to be late home tonight. Peterson wants to take a bunch of us out for drinks
Lynette: oh that’s fine. I wanted to talk to you about something
Tom: What?
(car honks outside)
Lynette: That’s your car pool. You’ve got to go, never mind.
Tom: Lynette, what is it?
Lynette: Its nothing
Tom: Okay
Lynette: Its just….
(Tom is about to escape without the talk but stays)
Lynette: We haven’t had sex in ten days. And the longest we’ve ever gone before is nine
(car honks impatiently outside)
Tom: Are you sure? (glances at the door) Didn’t we do it last Thursday?
Lynette: We started to but then *huh* you fell asleep.
Tom: Is this why you’re so worried? Cos we can do it tonight if you want to
Lynette: Whatever
Tom: No. I’ve got ten days pent up in me. We are doing it tonight. You’ve got nothing to worry about.
(goes to leave)
Tom: Oh crap You know what, I forgot my briefcase. Can you tell them I’ll be right there.
(sorry but Lynette is totally deluded if she’s referring to his ex-girlfriend as ‘the car pool’)
Annabel: Hi Lynette, is Tom nearly ready?
Lynette: Yeah, he’s just getting his briefcase
(Annabel’s phone beeps, she stands aside looking totally cool in her gorgeous suit, cleavage showing top and perfect hair as she checks her message, while Lynette stands at the door feeling frumpy)
Tom: Bye
Lynette: Bye
Annabel: Bye (to Lynette as she breezes out the door with her husband)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Mayer Drive – Day]
(Sophie stands by the car staring at her engagement ring, while Morty is piled up with boxes packing up Sophie’s stuff into the car)
Morty: I got it. I got it
Sophie: (to her daughter and granddaughter) Thank you for having me. I’m going to miss you both so much
(three way hug)
Susan: Us too. The house will seem just empty without you
Julie: Can’t you guys stay just a little bit longer?
Susan: Oh no. No no no. They want to get their new life together started. We don’t want to hold these two crazy kids back (laughs)
(Susan literally opens the car door and puts her mother inside!!)
Susan: Bye Morty
Morty: Listen, I hope its okay, but your mom told me some of the stuff that you’ve been going through with the plumber guy across the street.
Susan: She did huh?
Morty: don’t give up on him. If I had given up I wouldn’t be here now with this lovely lady
Susan: Did she tell you that he served time in prison for manslaughter?
Morty: No. No, she left that part out
Susan: I don’t suppose she told you he was a drug dealer?
Morty: I don’t recall that
Sophie: Will you stop? You don’t know the whole story
Susan: Mother!
Sophie: I went over there and told him how much you love him
Susan: What? What were you thinking?
Julie: (asking the right question) What did he say?
Susan: Yeah, what did he say?
Sophie: I think I walked in on him at a very bad time. Someone close to him had just died
Susan: (sympathetically) Oh god, really?
Sophie: He could use a shoulder to cry on.
(Susan seems torn about what to do)
Sophie: Can I have one more hug. Please? I can’t stand this!
(As the three women hug again, Susan looks over her mother’s shoulder and watches Mike come out of his house to collect his mail)
[INT – Restaurant – Night]
(Bree and George are having dinner in a restaurant)
Bree: mmmh! Oh George, you have GOT to taste this. Its alittle messy but..
(Bree picks up a forkful of her dinner for George to try)
George: Is that fennel seed? Its fantastic
Bree: I don’t know. But anything that good has got to be sinful.
(They both laugh)
George: Isn’t this fun? Trying different dishes, opening the mind to new experiences
Bree: Rex just hates these cooks tours. He likes to stay at home with the same old spaghetti and mug of root beer.
George: So how about this marinara sauce? I think it’s the best I’ve ever had
Bree: I’ve had one better, in Italy.
George: You’ve been to Italy?
Bree: Yes. Rex and I took a vacation there, right before the kids were born. We had so much fun in those first few years. I guess it was easier to be happy back then. I can’t believe I just said that (tries to make a joke out of it) no more wine for me.
George: We should go to Italy
Bree: What?
George: That’d be a hoot. All those museums and cathedrals. Its fantastic for tourists. We could just make pigs of ourselves
Bree: I can’t go on a trip with you George.
George: Why not?
Bree: Because I’m married! People would talk
George: You’re right I’m sorry. It was a bad idea
Bree: Oh don’t worry about it. Here I want you to try one of these clams. I bet they’re as good as the marinara sauce.
(Bree picks up more food on her fork and feeds it to George. As she does this, she spots Edie at another table and waves. Edie’s making suggestive eyes at Bree as if she’s caught her at something she shouldn’t be)
George: You are absolutely right. When its that good, its got to be sinful
(It begins to dawn on Bree how this would appear to other people)
[INT – Scavo House – Living Room – Night]
(The boys are watching TV in the living room. Lynette rushes in and switches off the TV)
Lynette: Okay you boys, its seven o’clock. Time for bed
(protests from the boys)
Parker: why do we have to be in bed so early
Lynette: I told you honey, daddy and I have a special meeting tonight
The boys: Ew!
Lynette: (blows them a kiss) I love you
[INT – Scavo House – Entrance – Night]
(Tom comes home from work, pulls at his tie and checks the mail. Lynette basically jumps on him, hugging him from behind)
Tom: (Surprised) woah!
Tom: Hi
Lynette: Hi (she’s kissing him all over)
Tom: Wow. Okay, this is the tenth day. Honey, just give me a second to let the office wear off.
(Lynette steps back for a second)
Tom: Alright, I’m in.
(They’re all over each other, until Tom suddenly stops)
Lynette: What are you thinking?
Tom: I was just wondering what that smell was
Lynette: Oh. Oh, its probably baby drool
(pulls off her sweater)
Lynette: There, now you have easier access
(falls backwards onto the sofa)
Tom: Incoming (jumps over the sofa to join her)
(They start making out again until Tom stops again, pulling a disgusted face)
Lynette: What?
Tom: Wow, that smell really soaked through didn’t it
Lynette: Yes. It soaked through a little. That is the nature of baby sick. Do you want me to wear a hazmat suit or are you going to be okay?
Tom: No no no. I just like it when you’re all clean and you wear sexy clothes
Lynette: (laughs) I don’t own anything clean (hits him with his tie) or sexy (and again). Everything is either covered in baby spit (and again) or chunks (and again) or covered in crayon (and again)
Tom: Okay okay okay. I’m sorry
Lynette: You make me feel like I just got off the shrimp boat for god’s sake
Tom: Honey, I said I’m sorry. Its just that guys sometimes like it when their women put a little effort into things
(Lynette is really deflated by this)
Tom: Okay. Um. Can we just go back to the kissing thing? Please can we try that?
Lynette: Fine
(They kiss – Lynette wraps her legs around Tom and they’re just getting into it when…)
(Off screen the baby starts crying)
Preston (offscreen): The baby’s up
Lynette: Okay, off!
Parker (offscreen): MOM! MOM!
(Lynette goes to tend to the baby, and Tom lies on the sofa upset that their night isn’t going as planned)
[EXT – PI’s Car – Night]
Paul: Susan Mayer hired you?!
PI: I know. She decided to stop poking around in your life and called me of all people. Lucky for you I’ve got the biggest ad in the phone book.
Paul: What am I going to do?
PI: Run. Pack up your kid and get out of town
Paul: That’s tricky. My son doesn’t want to move. He can be pretty insistent.
PI: Well I can throw her off the scent for a little while
Paul: Fine
PI: Alright then. Tell me exactly what it is you want this woman to believe
[INT – Mayer House – Day]
PI: She was born Angela. When she was a teenager she changed her name to Mary Alice. Now on her application it says that she was named after a relative that she no longer speaks to. Here’s her birth certificate and her Utah petition for a legal name change.
Susan: What about Dana?
PI: There was a record of another child. A girl, Dana Marie Young. She died at 18 months, apparently in some kind of a fall
Susan: It was all true. Everything he said. How could I have been so wrong
PI: Well I’m going to need a cheque
Susan: Oh of course
(goes to fetch her cheque book from her purse)
Susan: Actually, before you go I need you to check into someone else’s background. There’s this plumber I know…
[EXT – Park – Day]
(John is raking up leaves and collecting them in bags when Gabrielle approaches him)
John: Hi did you get my messages?
Gabrielle: Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you in person. I have some potentially upsetting news.
John: Come on Mrs Solis, you can tell me. I can handle it
Gabrielle: I’m pregnant and it might be yours
(John freaks out – kicking over bags of leaves and screaming while Gabrielle tries to stay out of his way. Time passes)
(Gabrielle is now sat on the lawnmower while John stomps around, still freaked out)
John: Man, I can barely afford my new dirt bike. How am I gonna afford child support?
Gabrielle: We don’t even know for sure if its yours so relax. Okay, and I didn’t come here to watch you freak out
John: So why did you come here?
Gabrielle: I wanna make sure you’ll let me protect you
John: From who?
Gabrielle: Um, Carlos? Your parents? John, something like this could ruin your life. That’s why you have to keep quiet about our affair. There’s no point in this catastrophe taking both of us down
John: Thank you
Gabrielle: Forget about it
John: I should’ve worn a condom
Gabrielle: Yeah, that would have been helpful
[INT – Mayer House – Kitchen – Day]
Julie: You hired a private investigator?
Susan: I can’t trust Mike, and I wanted to find out what really happened. From a source that doesn’t have an agenda. Now open it up
Julie: Okay. Are you ready?
Susan: Go
(Julie goes to open the file and start reading)
Susan: Stop
Julie: What?
Susan: If you find out something that’s really bad, just try and put a positive spin on it.
(Julie starts reading and Susan paces back and fore in the background. Time passes)
Julie: Okay. I have some good news and some bad news
Susan: Give me the bad news first
Julie: The guy Mike killed was a cop
Susan: Oh my god! Oh my god!
(Susan’s shocked by this and has her head in her hands. She tries to overcome her feelings to hear the good news and shakes her arms to psyche herself up for the next information)
Susan: Okay, give me the good news
Julie: There is none
Susan: What?
Julie: You told me to spin it. I did the best I could.
Susan: Oh, forget it. Just let me look at it myself
(Susan goes over and starts looking through the file herself. She looks through photocopies of press cuttings with headlines like ‘drug dealer kills cop’ and ‘hundreds mourn for slain officer’. Then she picks up an old picture of Mike in a prisoner’s orange jumpsuit, he’s outside of court and being taken off to jail by cops. In the background we see Noah Taylor and Kendra - his other daughter)
Susan: I don’t believe it.
Julie: What is it?
Susan: I know her (talking about Kendra)
[EXT – Taylor House – Porch – Day]
(Kendra in on the porch and as she looks around she sees her dad and Mike talking on a bridge in the grounds. She goes to confront them)
[EXT – Taylor House – Bridge – Day]
Kendra: Whats going on here?
(the two men know they’ve been caught out)
Kendra: You two just can’t stop can you? Deirdre’s dead. It doesn’t matter who killed her. Just let it go
Mike: Its not that easy Kendra.
Kendra: Why? My sister hated you. Both of you. She said so
Noah: That was the drugs talking
Kendra: (sarcastic) Right, right. “The drugs”. Deirdre humiliated this family and threw our love back in our faces. She knew it and she couldn’t have cared less
Noah: Are you done?
Kendra: No. I want to know what you’re planning
(Noah turns away from his daughter, so Mike steps up and challenges Kendra)
Mike: We’re just talking
Kendra: I don’t believe you
Mike: Then don’t ask
(they stare each other out, and Kendra is the one who blinks first. She looks at her father as if she can’t believe what he’s doing and storms off)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane - Day]
Rex: Of course I don’t want a new cardiologist, but Lee’s been conducting tests for weeks. He should have been able to figure out what is wrong with me by now
Bree: But honey, we socialise with them. What am I going to say to Helen?
Rex: All I know is that I’ve never felt worse. I’ve got to do something
(As Bree’s about to get in the car she sees Edie walking on the other side of the street)
Bree: I um. I have to talk to Edie
Rex: But we’re going to be late
Bree: Oh it’ll just take a second. I need to um, to get a recipe
(Bree runs across the street to talk to Edie)
Bree: Edie! Hi
Edie: Hi,
Bree: I saw you at Alfredo’s yesterday
Edie: Yes, I saw you too. Naughty naughty
Bree: I beg your pardon?
Edie: The guy. The one you were spoon-feeding. Not bad. A little petite for my taste but then again, I’m not the one sleeping with him
Bree: Okay, this is exactly what I was afraid of. George and I are just friends
Edie: Hey, I’m not judging you. I get it. I mean Rex was sticking it to that hooker housewife. Its payback time
Bree: You’ve got the wrong idea. That man is my pharmacist!
Edie: You could have an affair with anyone and you choose a pharmacist? You are such a republican
Bree: I am not having an affair! George and I… we just talk. He’s a very good listener and I share my hopes and dreams with him and my innermost thoughts. And that’s all there is to it, and you have to believe me
Edie: Okay, I believe you
Bree: Thank you. I’m glad we cleared this up. I know that it must have looked strange and I didn’t want you to think that I was cheating on my husband
Edie: But you sort of are
Bree: Excuse me?
Edie: Oh, come on Bree, you’re telling this guy your innermost thoughts…your hopes and dreams. Sex aside it sounds like you’re being pretty intimate with a guy who isn’t your husband.
Bree: Oh. Oh I mean, everybody needs someone to talk to
Edie: So whats wrong with talking to Rex?
[INT – Tilman House – Kitchen – Day]
( Mrs Tilman is in the kitchen baking and is calling Zach)
Young answer phone message: we’re not home please leave a message
Mrs Tilman (on the phone – she’s very smiley, but concerned): Hello, Zach? Its Felicia Timan. I do so enjoy our little visits and I haven’t seen you in a few days. I hope everything’s alright…
[INT – Young House – Kitchen – Day]
(We see Paul listening to Felicia leaving the message, and decides to pick up the phone)
Paul (on the phone): Zach’s not feeling well
[INT – Mrs Tilman’s House – Kitchen – Day]
Mrs Tilman (on the phone): (her voice immediately loses its cheerfulness when she hears Paul’s voice) oh. Paul.
[INT – Young House – Kitchen – Day]
Paul (on the phone): And I don’t think its appropriate that he spend so much time at your house.
(He hangs up on Mrs Tilman)
[INT – Young House – Zach’s Bedroom – Day]
(Paul enters his son’s room carrying a tray with two cups of cocoa on it)
Paul: I’ve made us some cocoa. How are you feeling?
Zach: I’ve felt awful for two days now. I think I should see a doctor
(Zach reaches for the nearest cup of cocoa. Paul takes his hand and puts it around the other cup)
Paul: Its probably just a touch of the flu. I’ll keep an eye on it. Its this house, Zach, I feel it too. It isn’t healthy for us to stay here
Zach: I told you. I’m not moving
Paul: It would be for your own good. You can’t keep running around doing the things your doing….Susan Mayer’s kitchen for example. People are going to catch on. Wouldn’t it be great to just start over? Somewhere in the country maybe. You can make some new friends, maybe even meet a new girl. How about I let you sleep on it?
(takes the mug of cocoa off the sleeping Zach)
Paul: We’ll talk about moving tomorrow.
[EXT – Shops – Day]
Mary Alice Voiceover: The lack of passion in her marriage had become an unpleasant reality for Lynette. Then one day it occure dto her, that the best way to fight reality was with a bit of fantasy. Of course all the fantasy in the world won’t do you anygood if nobody turns up to enjoy it.
[INT – Scavo House – Living Room – Night]
(Tom and his friend come home after a late night at work)
Tom’s Co-worker: I really feel bad about putting you out like this Tom.
Tom: You’re not putting anyone out. You’ve been flying all day. Why stay in some hotel? I just hope you don’t mind sleeping on the…
(both Tom and his friend stop and stare in shock at Lynette passed out in the maid’s outfit on the sofa)
Tom:….sofa
Tom’s Co-worker: yep, the sofa should fine
[INT – Scavo House – Kitchen – Day]
(Lynette is cleaning up the kitchen after feeding the hungry hoards)
Tom: oh hey honey, why don’t you just let the maid get that?
Lynette: oh , ha ha ha. Not funny Tom
Tom: By the way, Gary’s showering. He asked if you could just bring him a clean towel and yo’re riding crop
Lynette: Tom!
(Lynette kicks Tom on the butt as she walks behind him)
Tom: Oh, come on! (Laughs)
Lynette: No I’m glad that you find my humiliation so entertaining
Tom: Honey, you were wearing a French Maid’s costume! What were you thinking?
Lynette: I was thinking that our marriage was in trouble and one of us should do something to fix it
Tom: (this totally blindsides Tom) Wow! Since when is our marriage in trouble?
(Lynette looks over her shoulder at him)
Tom: Okay, so we haven’t had sex in a few days? Big deal, it happens
(car honks outside)
Lynette: That’s Annabel, how ironic
Tom: How is Annabel relevant to this conversation?
Lynette: Because she now comes to our house everyday to remind you of what I’m not.
Tom: What?!
Lynette: She’s the fantasy, tom, the hot woman that you work with everyday. With her manicured nails and designer outfits. I am the reality. The wife who never wears make-up and whose clothes smell like a hamper
Tom: This might be the stupidest thing you’ve ever said
Lynette: I used to be the fantasy. There was a time when I didn’t need a maid’s outfit because I knew I was enough for you, even wearing a smelly t-shirt. And clearly, that’s no longer the case
(she’s nearly in tears having to have this conversation with her husband)
Tom: Okay, honey, I don’t know what to say. If there’s some way I can fix this I will do it. Just tell me and I’ll do it
Lynette: No, theres nothing to fix. We’ve changed. That’s all I’m saying
(The car honks outside again and Gary comes downstairs dressed for work)
Gary: Are you ready?
(Tom looks back and fore between his wife and his workmate. He’s torn about whether he should leave or stay and comfort his wife)
Lynette: You should go. You don’t want to keep Annabel waiting
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom – Day]
(Carlos is soaking in the tub, which Gabrielle is pouring hot sauce into a bowl of Salsa)
Carlos: hey, be careful with that. you’ll give the baby heartburn
Gabrielle: I can’t get it hot enough. My hormones are killing my taste buds.
Carlos: you’ve been paying more attention to your food than me lately
Gabrielle: I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Gabrielle is outside pouring even more hot sauce into the salsa. We see John’s red truck pull up outside the house. Gabrielle sees him and tries to keep him away from the house)
Gabrielle: John! What are you doing?
John: I’ve been doing some serious thinking about the baby
Gabrielle: Really? Why?
John: Because there’s a good chance that its mine and if it is I want to do the right thing
Gabrielle: No, nobody expects you to do the right thing
John: Yeah, I kinda figured you might try and blow me off. That’s why I’m going direct to Mr Solis
Gabrielle: What? Are you crazy? He would kill us both!
John: He and I need to hash this out, man to man. Its whats best for the baby.
Gabrielle: John!
John: Well are you going to go get him or am I?
Gabrielle: (suddenly very calm) Alright. You win. Wait right here.
(Gabrielle makes John stay outside as she slowly enters the house and closes the front door behind her. she pauses for a second at the door to collect herself, she suddenly runs upstairs.)
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Carlos is getting out of the tub, all covered in bubbles, when Gabrielle comes in)
Gabrielle: Don’t get out
Carlos: Why?
Gabrielle: Because…I was going to get in
(Carlos looks confused)
Gabrielle: (flirting) Yeah. You see pregnant women have very strong urges
Carlos: Alright
Gabrielle: I’m going to freshen up, and I’ll be right back
Carlos: Okay
Gabrielle: You sit. Sit!
(She runs into the bedroom)
Gabrielle: I’m turning on some music
(The music starts and Carlos sinks back into the tub, very happy look on his face)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Gabrielle runs back down the stairs and sees John pacing on the front lawn. She goes outside and quickly locks the door before John can get into the house)
Gabrielle: Um, Carlos is unavailable at the moment
(John tries the door)
John: You’re lying
Gabrielle: John, what are you doing?
(John starts pounding on the door)
John: MR SOLIS! MR SOLIS! Open Up!
Gabrielle: Stop it
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Shots of Carlos in the tub, the music is up loud enough that he can’t hear what is going on outside. He’s playing with a flannel)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(John is determined to get in the house though and isn’t put off. He goes over to the chairs on the deck and picks one up, ready to throw it through the window)
Gabrielle: What the hell are you????
John: Mrs Solis, get out of the way
Gabrielle: John! John, you…you can’t
(Gabrielle has been trying to stop him by putting herself between John and the window. But realising that isn’t going to stop him, she reaches for the nearest thing to throw at him…the salsa. She throws it in his face! It shocks John and he falls backwards over the edge of the porch and ends up flat on his back)
Gabrielle: (Screams) Oh my god!
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Carlos is still in the tub, oblivious to all the screaming outside. He’s squirting water through his hands)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Gabrielle checks that John is okay)
John: Oh god! It burns
Gabrielle: Its just salsa
John: Well it feels like acid
Gabrielle: Really? I’ve been finding it so bland
John: MR SOLIS! MR SOLIS! COME OUT HERE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!
Gabrielle: John! Stop! Shut the hell up! Listen to me, you are never going to be the father of this baby. No matter what the paternity tests say, it is Carlos’ child
John: How can you say that?
Gabrielle: Because Carlos can provide, John! He can give this baby everything. Piano lessons and summer camp…and the best colleges. He can raise this child the way it deserves to be raised, you can’t
John: This isn’t about money. This is about whats best for the baby.
Gabrielle: If you want whats best for the baby, you will help me. Help me make sure this baby doesn’t grow up poor like I did.
(We see Carlos come out of the house looking for Gabrielle)
Carlos: What is taking you????
(On hearing her husband, Gabrielle looks pleadingly at John not to say anything)
Carlos: Oh, hi John. What are you doing here?
Gabrielle: He, uh….
John: Justin was thinking the hydrangeas needed replacing, he wanted me to come by to get a second opinion
Carlos: Your friend, he’s a good kid, but he’s not half the gardener you were. You should come back and work for us. I mean you’re practically family
John: Thank you Mr Solis
(John looks at Gabrielle one last time and leaves)
[EXT – Mrs Tilman’s House – Day]
(Shots of Mrs Tilman sitting on her porch reading a book. She watches Paul Young come out of his house, get in his car and drive away. She goes over to the Young house. She ring the doorbell several times)
Mrs Tilman: Zach! Are you here?
(We see (from the inside) Mrs Tilman lifting up the garage door and entering the house. Once inside she sees all the boxes. She goes upstairs to Zach’s bedroom and finds him sprawled across his bed, face down. She rolls him over and checks if he’s breathing and his pulse. Next we see her searching the downstairs trying to find what Paul has been giving to his son. She finds a bottle of pills inside an oven glove in the kitchen)
[INT – Young House – Zach’s Bedroom – Day]
Mrs Tilman: I have to do this dear. I know you’ll forgive me
(She slaps Zach across the face, and he reacts in shock to the slap)
(Shots of Mrs Tilman and Zach leaving the house, with Mrs Tilman holding up Zach)
(Back inside we see a letter left on the sideboard that says “Paul, Zach is with me, Felicia”)
[INT – Scavo House – Living Room – Night]
(Lynette is sitting on the sofa, enjoying some quiet time and reading a magazine, when Tom comes home)
Tom: Hey
Lynette: Hey
Tom: Are the boys asleep?
Lynette: Tucked in tight
Tom: And Penny?
Lynette: Sound asleep
(Tom gets an egg timer out of his pocket, winds it up and places it on the arm of the sofa)
Tom: Okay, when this goes off, meet me in the bedroom
(He heads up the stairs)
Lynette: Tom, what is this?
Tom: Not until it goes off
[INT – Outside Tom and Lynette’s Bedroom – Night]
(The egg timer goes off)
Lynette: (Sceptically) Alright… I’m coming in
(enters the bedroom and looks around. She sees Tom in the bathroom posing wearing just a thong)
Lynette: (squeals in delight at what she’s seeing) Oh my god!
Tom: (in an English {I think} accent) You want fantasy? I can do fantasy (roars)
Tom: Come to me woman and prepare to be boarded
(Lynette is thrilled at the prospect!!)
Tom: Please will you make it fast, these things are just chafing
(Runs over to the bed and makes himself available to her)
Lynette: You know, I kinda like it
Tom: Great. Kill the lights
(Lynette goes to switch off the lights then stops)
Lynette: No
Tom: Please?
Lynette: No, I’m not turning off the lights
Tom: Please
Lynette: No. nononono
(Lynette straddles Tom and they kiss. She starts making playful noises at her husband)
[INT – Mrs Tilman’s House – Kitchen – Night]
(Mrs Tilman is having a cup of tea at the kitchen table when theres a knock at the door)
Mrs Tilman: Its open
(She turns to see who has entered)
Mrs Tilman: Oh, Paul its you. I’m so glad. I have some papers I want you to look at
Paul: Where is my son?
Mrs Tilman: Upstairs. Sleeping off those tranquillisers you gave him
Paul: I don’t know what you’re doing but I’m taking my son and going
(Turns to leave)
Mrs Tilman: (sternly) I am not my sister, Paul. You do not want to screw with me
(at this, Paul stops and turns back to Mrs Tilman)
Mrs Tilman: (back to her normal voice) Martha kept a journal.
(She starts to set out across the table a series of paper photocopies which have small writing all over them)
Mrs Tilman: Every drab event of her drab life meticulously recorded. Including her discovery that you and your wife stole a baby. A baby named Dana.
(Paul picks up the papers and reads them)
Mrs Tilman: I’m sorry if the copies are hard to read. I hid the originals in a safe place. It seemed like a reasonable precaution seeing as you killed Martha and all. Would you like a cookie?
(Paul sits down at the table)
Mrs Tilman: Suit yourself. Now I have a little proposition for you…
Paul: These are the fantasies of a bored, lonely woman. They prove nothing.
Mrs Tilman: The only reason the police haven’t caught you yet is because they have no reason to suspect you. But once they find out that Martha was blackmailing Ange – sorry, Mary Alice-
Paul: What is it you want?
Mrs Tilman: The same thing you want. For you to leave town, change your name and start your life over again somewhere far away from here.
Paul: If you’re so sure of yourself, why don’t you just turn me in?
Mrs Tilman: Because Zach would never forgive me. And its important that we be on good terms….seeing as he’s going to be living with me now
Paul: What?
Mrs Tilman: Your bags are packed, you’re about to become a fugitive! Is that the kind of life you want for your son? The two of you spending every night in a different town? No. you’re a better father than that
Paul: I can’t just leave him
(He gets up and stares towards the upstairs where his son is sleeping)
Mrs Tilman: You stole him so that you could give him a better life. That was a noble act, Paul. Truly. And its time for you to be noble again
Paul: Can I at least say goodbye?
Mrs Tilman: Did you allow me to say goodbye to Martha?
(Paul leaves. Mrs Tilman sighs with relief that the meeting went as planned. She pulls her hand out from under the table and reveals a kitchen knife that she was hiding there)
[EXT – Taylor Estate – Day]
(Susan drives up to the front of the house)
Susan: (to the big, burly, black security guard that approaches her when she stops the car) Oh hi. I’m looking for Kendra Taylor?
Security Guard: I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave
Susan: Oh, oh, you don’t understand. I can’t just drive away
(Susan gets out of the car)
Security Guard: Please, back in the car
Susan: Look, um (reads his name tag) Bob, let me try to explain
Security Guard: In the car
Susan: You see the thing is. This is probably the last chance for me to find out if I can be with the man I love
Security Guard: Ma’am
Susan: And Bob (puts her hands on Bob’s shoulders – he does not look amused by this), I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means to me. So, I’m going to walk up to that house, and you’re going to let me. And you know why? Because behind that badge and that big, you could crush me like a fly, chest, theres a heart. A heart that believes in love
(Bob looks like he’s thinking about what she’s said….but the next shot is of Bob forcing Susan onto the hood of her car, holding her arm behind her back. As she’s lying there we see someone approaching)
Security Guard: Just get in the damned car
Susan: Its not my fault you don’t have love in your heart
Kendra: Susan? Is that you?
Susan: (from her restrained position) Hi Kendra
[EXT – Taylor House – Day]
(we see Susan, Noah and Kendra sat at a table outside, with the file on Mike Delfino laid out in front of them)
Susan: And despite the evidence, despite all that’s been laid out in front of me, I can’t help feeling that theres more to the story. Does that sound stupid?
Kendra: No, no, of course not-
(Noah lays his hand on his daughter’s to stop her from talking to Susan)
Noah: Unfortunately you’ve got the entire story here
(Kendra gets up from the table unable to listen anymore to her father)
Susan: But Mike’s lawyer pleaded self defence and if that’s the case…
Noah: Delfino sold black tar heroin to my daughter, he killed the cop who tried to bust him, got convicted and did his time. End of story.
Kendra: Dad!
Noah: She deserves to hear the truth, no matter how terrible. I’m sorry Ms Mayer, I really am
Susan: Right. I appreciate you talking to me.
(Susan is on the brink of tears. She gathers up the file and her bag very quickly and walks off)
Kendra: What the hell was that?
Noah: If she knew the truth, she’d go running back to him. She might talk him out of doing his job. I can’t risk that. I just don’t have the time.
(he drops a kiss on his daughter’s head and walks off. Kendra stares after Susan for a second and makes a decision)
[EXT – Taylor Estate – Day]
(Shots of Susan getting back into her car and pulling on her seat belt. She looks surprised when the passenger door opens and Kendra gets in)
Kendra: Quick. Drive around the corner. We need to talk
[INT – Van Der Kamp House – Living Room – Day]
(Rex is reading the newspaper, doing the crossword whilst Bree is knitting baby clothes)
Bree: What do you think, Rex? I chose green so that it will work whether Gabrielle has a boy or a girl
Rex: (absentmindedly) its great
Bree: Whats the matter? You’ve been mopy all day
Rex: I’m sorry, I’m just worried about the test results. If I don’t find out whats wrong with me soon I’m going to lose my mind.
Bree: Oh honey
Rex: You must get tired of hearing me complain
Bree: No, not at all. I think that we should talk about it. In fact I think maybe we don’t talk enough.
Rex: I guess
Bree: Why don’t we start doing things again, as a couple?
Rex: Mmhmm
(Rex is more interested in his crossword than the conversation with his wife)
Bree: I think that as soon as you’re well enough we should go on a vacation. Take a trip, go somewhere fun. Remember our trip to Italy?
Rex: Yeah, sort of
Bree: Sort of? Don’t you remember the glorious food and the gorgeous scenery?
Rex: What I remember is sweating like a pig and wishing we hadn’t spent all our savings. So where would you like to go?
Bree: (heartbroken) It doesn’t matter. You decide
[EXT – Taylor Estate – Susan’s Car – Day]
Kendra: Mike wasn’t a drug dealer.
Susan: What?
Kendra: Deirdre was. Mike, he kicked the habit early on, but Deirdre couldn’t, or didn’t, want to…I don’t know. Anyway, she spiralled out of control and was in and out of jail. One day an undercover cop caught her using and he forced her to trade sex for freedom. Look, Mike found out about it and he tried to put a stop to it. He busted in on the two of them. He…the cop pulled a gun on him, but Mike fought him off. They both went over the balcony… Mike was the only one who got back up.
Susan: It was self defence
Kendra: Yeah. Mike went to jail trying to save my sister. But he couldn’t.
Susan: I knew he was good. I just knew it.
(Susan’s crying such happy tears at this point. And Kendra nods, glad that she’s finally told the truth.)
Susan: Thank you
[INT – Jewellery Shop – Day]
(shot of an engagement ring case on a glass top. The sales assistant opens it up to
show a gorgeous ring)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The vow is simple really.
(We see its Sophie and Morty in the jewellery shop. Sophie is extatic with her new ring. She puts on the new ring and hugs Morty)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Those who take it promise to stay together for better or for worse….
(The sales assistant hands Morty the bill for the ring. He reads it and can’t believe how much it is)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….For richer or for poorer….
[INT – Hospital Room – Day]
(Rex is in a hospital gown, undergoing more tests. Bree stands by watching him, looking incredibly pale herself)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….In sickness and in health….
[EXT – Scavo House – Day]
(Tom and Lynette are kissing as he is about to leave for work)
Mary Alice Voiceover:….To honour and to cherish….
(Lynette watches her husband leave, looking very happy with herself)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Carlos is hugging Gabrielle goodbye. She looks over his shoulder at John who is mowing a lawn down the street)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….Forsaking all others….
(Gabrielle closes her eyes and turns her attention back to Carlos)
{INT – Young House – Day]
(Shot of Paul and Mary Alice’s wedding photo)
Mary Alice Voiceover:….Until death do us part.
(Paul is staring at the photo, then turns it over and places it in the suitcase he is packing)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Outside Delfino House Day]
(we see Mike getting out of his car and walking into his house. As the shot pulls back we see Susan running across the street towards him)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Yes, the vow is simple.
(Mike sees Susan running across the street and is shocked to see her)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Finding someone worthy of such a promise is the hard part….
Susan: (Susan is very animated, moving her hands and can’t get her words out) Um, um… She, she…..i uh.
(Susan gives up on trying to explain everything to him and so goes to kiss Mike. He’s shocked at first, but gives in to the kiss – AWWWW!)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….But if we can, that is when we begin to live happily ever after.
Original Airdate on ABC: 08-MAY-2005 Written by Katie Ford
Directed by Larry Shaw
==========================
CAST:
==========================
Teri Hatcher as SUSAN MEYER
Felicity Huffman as LYNETTE SCAVO
Marcia Cross as BREE VAN DE KAMP
Eva Longoria as GABRIELLE SOLIS
Brenda Strong as MARY ALICE YOUNG / NARRATOR
James Denton as MIKE DELFINO
Steven Culp as REX VAN DE KAMP
Nicolette Sheridan as EDIE BRITTMark Moses as PAUL YOUNG
Ricardo Antonio Chavira as CARLOS SOLIS
Cody Kasch as ZACK YOUNG
Andrea Bowen as JULIE MEYER
Jesse Metcalfe as JOHN ROWLAND
Christine Estabrook as MRS. HUBER
Joy Lauren as DANIELLE VAN DE KAMP
Doug Sevant as TOM SCAVO
Zane Huett as PARKER SCAVO
Brent Kinsman as PRESTON SCAVO / PORTER SCAVO
Shane Kinsman as PRESTON SCAVO / PORTER SCAVO
==========================
Mary Alice Voiceover: Previously on Desperate Housewives
[INT – Mayer House – Kitchen – Day]
(Sophie and Susan are making dinner)
Sophie: I left Morty
(Susan turns around shocked at what her mother said)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Susan’s mother left quite an impression
[EXT – Car Park of Morty’s Restaurant – Day]
(Susan turns around to look out the restaurant window at her mother and Morty’s attempt at reconciliation – where Sophie ends up biting him on the arm)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Bree made a secret commitment
[INT – Pharmacy – Day]
.George: He’s not going to let us be friends
Bree: Who says he has to know how I spend my free time?
Mary Alice Voiceover: Gabrielle made a discovery
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Gabrielle hits her birth control pills and finds they’ve been tampered with)
[EXT – Solis House – Garden – Day]
(Gabrielle walks up to Carlos and slaps him across the face)
Gabrielle: I am pregnant and it is all your fault
Mary Alice Voiceover: Tom made a mistake
[INT – Peterson’s – Tom’s Office – Day]
(Tom is in the very awkward situation of having his jealous wife watching him with his playful ex-girlfriend)
[INT – Scavo House – Kitchen – Night]
Lynette: You hired your old girlfriend and you didn’t tell me for three months?
Mary Alice Voiceover: And Susan made an appointment….
[INT – Mayer House – Drawing Board – Day]
(Susan flicks through the Yellow Pages)
[INT – Hafts Detective Agency – Day]
Susan: Do you think you can help me?
PI: As a matter of fact, I know I can
End of Recap
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie is sat cross legged on a chair in her bedroom thinking about the past. She’s looking at her old engagement rings which are kept in a box and she looks very sad)
Mary Alice Voiceover: When she was younger, Sophie Bremner was a hopeless romantic. She was also hopelessly naïve, which was how she came to be married four times.
[INT – Casino – Night]
(A smartly dressed man slides an engagement ring across the table to a young Sophie with long straight hair who has her back to us)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The first time to a man who liked to gamble.
[INT – Bar – Night]
(A man dressed in a tacky blue suit slides an engagement ring across the bar to a young Sophie with short curly hair, and then takes a drink)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The second time to a man who liked to drink
[INT – Restaurant – Night]
(A man with long blond hair and a moustache, dressed in a bright shirt open to the chest which reveals a gold medallion slides an engagement ring across the table to a young Sophie with very short hair and gives her a huge smile)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The third time to a man who liked other men
[INT – Bar – Night]
(Ex-husband number 2 slides an engagement ring across the bar to a young Sophie with long curly hair, and then takes a drink)
Mary Alice Voiceover: And the fourth time to the same man she married the second time.
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie sadly touches her collection of engagement rings)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Yes, Sophie was tired of having her heart broken. So she decided she would never get married again
(Sophie closes the lid on the box of rings)
Mary Alice Voiceover: And then one night ….
Morty: (offscreen) Sophie!
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….She had visitor
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Outside Mayer House – Night]
(Morty is standing in the Mayer Garden shouting at the house)
Morty: Sophie!
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie goes to the window to see whats going on)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Outside Mayer House – Night]
(Susan opens the door, confused by whats happening)
Susan: Morty? What are you doing?
Morty: I need to talk to Sophie.
Susan: NOW? Are you drunk?
Morty: Just a little bit
(Susan ushers Morty inside)
Morty: How are you?
[INT – Mayer House – Sophie’s Bedroom – Night]
(Sophie is still at the window. She bites her lip wondering whats going on. We see her creep downstairs to listen in on the conversation)
[INT – Mayer House – Living Room – Night]
Morty: I’ve got to speak to Sophie
Susan: Are you crazy? Its one o’clock in the morning. She’s sleeping
Morty: I’m gonna ask her to marry me
Susan: What?
Morty: I thought I could be happy. The restaurant is starting to make money. I just bought a new jet ski. My cholesterol is down. But none of it is any fun without her.
(Shots of Sophie listening at the door, her face lights up at what he says)
Susan: Ah, Morty. I just don’t think its going to happen. She’s moved on. Why don’t you sit down, I’ll call you a cab.
(Sophie enters into the room)
Morty: Sophie
Sophie: (quietly reprimanding him) Your doctor told you not to drink
Morty: Well there are times when you need liquid courage
(Morty hands her the engagement ring. Sophie gushes over it, then recognises it and her face falls)
Sophie: Did this ring belong to Delores?
Susan: You gave her your dead wife’s ring?
Morty: (to Susan) It’s a three carat diamond. She shouldn’t care if its used
Morty: (to Sophie) So what do you say, Soph?
Sophie: Alright
Morty: (excited) Really?!
Susan: (can’t believe it) Really???!!!!
Sophie: Yeah
(Morty goes to hug Sophie, but she stops him)
Sophie: (whispers) But you’ve got to do it officially…you know
(Sophie points down, so that he’ll get down on one knee)
Morty: Oh! Oh, um
(Morty looks to Susan for help – he’s getting on a bit and needs help getting down on one knee - Susan provides a cushion for his knee and something to lean on as he goes down)
Morty: Sophie will you do me the honour of marrying me?
(All through this Sophie is smiling down at him)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Sophie Bremner was still a hopeless romantic….
Sophie: On one condition. Tomorrow we trade this in for a ring of my own and I want a bigger diamond than Delores got.
(Morty looks at Susan behind him – thinking what have I let myself in for. Susan just smiles back at him)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….But she was no longer naïve.
(While the happy couple gaze happily at each other, Susan has a look on her face that shows she clearly thinks they are crazy)
Opening Credits
(shots of the various couple’s wedding photos)
[Paul and Mary Alice Young’s wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: Marriage is a simple concept.
[Bree and Rex Van Der Kamp’s wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: Basically it is a contract between two people ….
[Lynette and Tom Scavo’s wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….That binds them together for life….
[Gabrielle and Carlos Solis’ wedding photo]
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….In the hopes that they can live happily ever after.
[INT – Solis House – Living Room – Day]
Mary Alice Voiceover: Sadly some contracts….
(The shot pans out and we see a plate smash against the wall, and Carlos ducks from the shards)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….Are meant to be broken
(We see Gabrielle getting ready to hurl another plate in Carlos’ direction)
Carlos: I didn’t mess with your birth control
Gabrielle: Oh really?!
Carlos: Really!
(Gabrielle puts the plate down and shows Carlos the tampered with pill packet)
Gabrielle: Look! Its been pulled apart and glued back together.
Carlos: Its probably a manufacturing defect
Gabrielle: You can still see the glue marks!
Carlos: I’m telling you I didn’t do it
Gabrielle: Don’t insult me Carlos! You’ve been whining about wanting a baby for months. Who else could it have been?
Carlos: Oh….I… (has a brainwave and sees a way to get out of the bad situation) Oh No.
Gabrielle: What?
Carlos: Mama!
Gabrielle: Oh please!
Carlos: Its possible. You buy that stuff in bulk, six months at a time right?
Gabrielle: Yeah, so?
Carlos: Before the accident I told her how much I wanted a child. And she said that she would take care of it. I just thought that she would talk to you. Baby I am so sorry
(cue dramatic music while we pause for a second – will Gabrielle buy his excuse or not?)
Gabrielle: That Bitch! I can’t believe her!
Carlos: I loved her, but even I had issues sometimes. She could be very controlling.
Gabrielle: Reaching out from the grave to screw with me. God she’s good
Carlos: Where are you going?
Gabrielle: I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on and I want to be standing on your mother’s grave when it hits
(Gabrielle puts on her sunglasses and walks out of the house. Carlos sighs with relief and falls backwards on to the sofa)
[INT – Scavo House – Kitchen – Day]
(Lynette is feeding the baby and is looking completely bedraggled. Tom is fusing about getting ready for work)
Tom: Honey, I’m going to be late home tonight. Peterson wants to take a bunch of us out for drinks
Lynette: oh that’s fine. I wanted to talk to you about something
Tom: What?
(car honks outside)
Lynette: That’s your car pool. You’ve got to go, never mind.
Tom: Lynette, what is it?
Lynette: Its nothing
Tom: Okay
Lynette: Its just….
(Tom is about to escape without the talk but stays)
Lynette: We haven’t had sex in ten days. And the longest we’ve ever gone before is nine
(car honks impatiently outside)
Tom: Are you sure? (glances at the door) Didn’t we do it last Thursday?
Lynette: We started to but then *huh* you fell asleep.
Tom: Is this why you’re so worried? Cos we can do it tonight if you want to
Lynette: Whatever
Tom: No. I’ve got ten days pent up in me. We are doing it tonight. You’ve got nothing to worry about.
(goes to leave)
Tom: Oh crap You know what, I forgot my briefcase. Can you tell them I’ll be right there.
(sorry but Lynette is totally deluded if she’s referring to his ex-girlfriend as ‘the car pool’)
Annabel: Hi Lynette, is Tom nearly ready?
Lynette: Yeah, he’s just getting his briefcase
(Annabel’s phone beeps, she stands aside looking totally cool in her gorgeous suit, cleavage showing top and perfect hair as she checks her message, while Lynette stands at the door feeling frumpy)
Tom: Bye
Lynette: Bye
Annabel: Bye (to Lynette as she breezes out the door with her husband)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Mayer Drive – Day]
(Sophie stands by the car staring at her engagement ring, while Morty is piled up with boxes packing up Sophie’s stuff into the car)
Morty: I got it. I got it
Sophie: (to her daughter and granddaughter) Thank you for having me. I’m going to miss you both so much
(three way hug)
Susan: Us too. The house will seem just empty without you
Julie: Can’t you guys stay just a little bit longer?
Susan: Oh no. No no no. They want to get their new life together started. We don’t want to hold these two crazy kids back (laughs)
(Susan literally opens the car door and puts her mother inside!!)
Susan: Bye Morty
Morty: Listen, I hope its okay, but your mom told me some of the stuff that you’ve been going through with the plumber guy across the street.
Susan: She did huh?
Morty: don’t give up on him. If I had given up I wouldn’t be here now with this lovely lady
Susan: Did she tell you that he served time in prison for manslaughter?
Morty: No. No, she left that part out
Susan: I don’t suppose she told you he was a drug dealer?
Morty: I don’t recall that
Sophie: Will you stop? You don’t know the whole story
Susan: Mother!
Sophie: I went over there and told him how much you love him
Susan: What? What were you thinking?
Julie: (asking the right question) What did he say?
Susan: Yeah, what did he say?
Sophie: I think I walked in on him at a very bad time. Someone close to him had just died
Susan: (sympathetically) Oh god, really?
Sophie: He could use a shoulder to cry on.
(Susan seems torn about what to do)
Sophie: Can I have one more hug. Please? I can’t stand this!
(As the three women hug again, Susan looks over her mother’s shoulder and watches Mike come out of his house to collect his mail)
[INT – Restaurant – Night]
(Bree and George are having dinner in a restaurant)
Bree: mmmh! Oh George, you have GOT to taste this. Its alittle messy but..
(Bree picks up a forkful of her dinner for George to try)
George: Is that fennel seed? Its fantastic
Bree: I don’t know. But anything that good has got to be sinful.
(They both laugh)
George: Isn’t this fun? Trying different dishes, opening the mind to new experiences
Bree: Rex just hates these cooks tours. He likes to stay at home with the same old spaghetti and mug of root beer.
George: So how about this marinara sauce? I think it’s the best I’ve ever had
Bree: I’ve had one better, in Italy.
George: You’ve been to Italy?
Bree: Yes. Rex and I took a vacation there, right before the kids were born. We had so much fun in those first few years. I guess it was easier to be happy back then. I can’t believe I just said that (tries to make a joke out of it) no more wine for me.
George: We should go to Italy
Bree: What?
George: That’d be a hoot. All those museums and cathedrals. Its fantastic for tourists. We could just make pigs of ourselves
Bree: I can’t go on a trip with you George.
George: Why not?
Bree: Because I’m married! People would talk
George: You’re right I’m sorry. It was a bad idea
Bree: Oh don’t worry about it. Here I want you to try one of these clams. I bet they’re as good as the marinara sauce.
(Bree picks up more food on her fork and feeds it to George. As she does this, she spots Edie at another table and waves. Edie’s making suggestive eyes at Bree as if she’s caught her at something she shouldn’t be)
George: You are absolutely right. When its that good, its got to be sinful
(It begins to dawn on Bree how this would appear to other people)
[INT – Scavo House – Living Room – Night]
(The boys are watching TV in the living room. Lynette rushes in and switches off the TV)
Lynette: Okay you boys, its seven o’clock. Time for bed
(protests from the boys)
Parker: why do we have to be in bed so early
Lynette: I told you honey, daddy and I have a special meeting tonight
The boys: Ew!
Lynette: (blows them a kiss) I love you
[INT – Scavo House – Entrance – Night]
(Tom comes home from work, pulls at his tie and checks the mail. Lynette basically jumps on him, hugging him from behind)
Tom: (Surprised) woah!
Tom: Hi
Lynette: Hi (she’s kissing him all over)
Tom: Wow. Okay, this is the tenth day. Honey, just give me a second to let the office wear off.
(Lynette steps back for a second)
Tom: Alright, I’m in.
(They’re all over each other, until Tom suddenly stops)
Lynette: What are you thinking?
Tom: I was just wondering what that smell was
Lynette: Oh. Oh, its probably baby drool
(pulls off her sweater)
Lynette: There, now you have easier access
(falls backwards onto the sofa)
Tom: Incoming (jumps over the sofa to join her)
(They start making out again until Tom stops again, pulling a disgusted face)
Lynette: What?
Tom: Wow, that smell really soaked through didn’t it
Lynette: Yes. It soaked through a little. That is the nature of baby sick. Do you want me to wear a hazmat suit or are you going to be okay?
Tom: No no no. I just like it when you’re all clean and you wear sexy clothes
Lynette: (laughs) I don’t own anything clean (hits him with his tie) or sexy (and again). Everything is either covered in baby spit (and again) or chunks (and again) or covered in crayon (and again)
Tom: Okay okay okay. I’m sorry
Lynette: You make me feel like I just got off the shrimp boat for god’s sake
Tom: Honey, I said I’m sorry. Its just that guys sometimes like it when their women put a little effort into things
(Lynette is really deflated by this)
Tom: Okay. Um. Can we just go back to the kissing thing? Please can we try that?
Lynette: Fine
(They kiss – Lynette wraps her legs around Tom and they’re just getting into it when…)
(Off screen the baby starts crying)
Preston (offscreen): The baby’s up
Lynette: Okay, off!
Parker (offscreen): MOM! MOM!
(Lynette goes to tend to the baby, and Tom lies on the sofa upset that their night isn’t going as planned)
[EXT – PI’s Car – Night]
Paul: Susan Mayer hired you?!
PI: I know. She decided to stop poking around in your life and called me of all people. Lucky for you I’ve got the biggest ad in the phone book.
Paul: What am I going to do?
PI: Run. Pack up your kid and get out of town
Paul: That’s tricky. My son doesn’t want to move. He can be pretty insistent.
PI: Well I can throw her off the scent for a little while
Paul: Fine
PI: Alright then. Tell me exactly what it is you want this woman to believe
[INT – Mayer House – Day]
PI: She was born Angela. When she was a teenager she changed her name to Mary Alice. Now on her application it says that she was named after a relative that she no longer speaks to. Here’s her birth certificate and her Utah petition for a legal name change.
Susan: What about Dana?
PI: There was a record of another child. A girl, Dana Marie Young. She died at 18 months, apparently in some kind of a fall
Susan: It was all true. Everything he said. How could I have been so wrong
PI: Well I’m going to need a cheque
Susan: Oh of course
(goes to fetch her cheque book from her purse)
Susan: Actually, before you go I need you to check into someone else’s background. There’s this plumber I know…
[EXT – Park – Day]
(John is raking up leaves and collecting them in bags when Gabrielle approaches him)
John: Hi did you get my messages?
Gabrielle: Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you in person. I have some potentially upsetting news.
John: Come on Mrs Solis, you can tell me. I can handle it
Gabrielle: I’m pregnant and it might be yours
(John freaks out – kicking over bags of leaves and screaming while Gabrielle tries to stay out of his way. Time passes)
(Gabrielle is now sat on the lawnmower while John stomps around, still freaked out)
John: Man, I can barely afford my new dirt bike. How am I gonna afford child support?
Gabrielle: We don’t even know for sure if its yours so relax. Okay, and I didn’t come here to watch you freak out
John: So why did you come here?
Gabrielle: I wanna make sure you’ll let me protect you
John: From who?
Gabrielle: Um, Carlos? Your parents? John, something like this could ruin your life. That’s why you have to keep quiet about our affair. There’s no point in this catastrophe taking both of us down
John: Thank you
Gabrielle: Forget about it
John: I should’ve worn a condom
Gabrielle: Yeah, that would have been helpful
[INT – Mayer House – Kitchen – Day]
Julie: You hired a private investigator?
Susan: I can’t trust Mike, and I wanted to find out what really happened. From a source that doesn’t have an agenda. Now open it up
Julie: Okay. Are you ready?
Susan: Go
(Julie goes to open the file and start reading)
Susan: Stop
Julie: What?
Susan: If you find out something that’s really bad, just try and put a positive spin on it.
(Julie starts reading and Susan paces back and fore in the background. Time passes)
Julie: Okay. I have some good news and some bad news
Susan: Give me the bad news first
Julie: The guy Mike killed was a cop
Susan: Oh my god! Oh my god!
(Susan’s shocked by this and has her head in her hands. She tries to overcome her feelings to hear the good news and shakes her arms to psyche herself up for the next information)
Susan: Okay, give me the good news
Julie: There is none
Susan: What?
Julie: You told me to spin it. I did the best I could.
Susan: Oh, forget it. Just let me look at it myself
(Susan goes over and starts looking through the file herself. She looks through photocopies of press cuttings with headlines like ‘drug dealer kills cop’ and ‘hundreds mourn for slain officer’. Then she picks up an old picture of Mike in a prisoner’s orange jumpsuit, he’s outside of court and being taken off to jail by cops. In the background we see Noah Taylor and Kendra - his other daughter)
Susan: I don’t believe it.
Julie: What is it?
Susan: I know her (talking about Kendra)
[EXT – Taylor House – Porch – Day]
(Kendra in on the porch and as she looks around she sees her dad and Mike talking on a bridge in the grounds. She goes to confront them)
[EXT – Taylor House – Bridge – Day]
Kendra: Whats going on here?
(the two men know they’ve been caught out)
Kendra: You two just can’t stop can you? Deirdre’s dead. It doesn’t matter who killed her. Just let it go
Mike: Its not that easy Kendra.
Kendra: Why? My sister hated you. Both of you. She said so
Noah: That was the drugs talking
Kendra: (sarcastic) Right, right. “The drugs”. Deirdre humiliated this family and threw our love back in our faces. She knew it and she couldn’t have cared less
Noah: Are you done?
Kendra: No. I want to know what you’re planning
(Noah turns away from his daughter, so Mike steps up and challenges Kendra)
Mike: We’re just talking
Kendra: I don’t believe you
Mike: Then don’t ask
(they stare each other out, and Kendra is the one who blinks first. She looks at her father as if she can’t believe what he’s doing and storms off)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane - Day]
Rex: Of course I don’t want a new cardiologist, but Lee’s been conducting tests for weeks. He should have been able to figure out what is wrong with me by now
Bree: But honey, we socialise with them. What am I going to say to Helen?
Rex: All I know is that I’ve never felt worse. I’ve got to do something
(As Bree’s about to get in the car she sees Edie walking on the other side of the street)
Bree: I um. I have to talk to Edie
Rex: But we’re going to be late
Bree: Oh it’ll just take a second. I need to um, to get a recipe
(Bree runs across the street to talk to Edie)
Bree: Edie! Hi
Edie: Hi,
Bree: I saw you at Alfredo’s yesterday
Edie: Yes, I saw you too. Naughty naughty
Bree: I beg your pardon?
Edie: The guy. The one you were spoon-feeding. Not bad. A little petite for my taste but then again, I’m not the one sleeping with him
Bree: Okay, this is exactly what I was afraid of. George and I are just friends
Edie: Hey, I’m not judging you. I get it. I mean Rex was sticking it to that hooker housewife. Its payback time
Bree: You’ve got the wrong idea. That man is my pharmacist!
Edie: You could have an affair with anyone and you choose a pharmacist? You are such a republican
Bree: I am not having an affair! George and I… we just talk. He’s a very good listener and I share my hopes and dreams with him and my innermost thoughts. And that’s all there is to it, and you have to believe me
Edie: Okay, I believe you
Bree: Thank you. I’m glad we cleared this up. I know that it must have looked strange and I didn’t want you to think that I was cheating on my husband
Edie: But you sort of are
Bree: Excuse me?
Edie: Oh, come on Bree, you’re telling this guy your innermost thoughts…your hopes and dreams. Sex aside it sounds like you’re being pretty intimate with a guy who isn’t your husband.
Bree: Oh. Oh I mean, everybody needs someone to talk to
Edie: So whats wrong with talking to Rex?
[INT – Tilman House – Kitchen – Day]
( Mrs Tilman is in the kitchen baking and is calling Zach)
Young answer phone message: we’re not home please leave a message
Mrs Tilman (on the phone – she’s very smiley, but concerned): Hello, Zach? Its Felicia Timan. I do so enjoy our little visits and I haven’t seen you in a few days. I hope everything’s alright…
[INT – Young House – Kitchen – Day]
(We see Paul listening to Felicia leaving the message, and decides to pick up the phone)
Paul (on the phone): Zach’s not feeling well
[INT – Mrs Tilman’s House – Kitchen – Day]
Mrs Tilman (on the phone): (her voice immediately loses its cheerfulness when she hears Paul’s voice) oh. Paul.
[INT – Young House – Kitchen – Day]
Paul (on the phone): And I don’t think its appropriate that he spend so much time at your house.
(He hangs up on Mrs Tilman)
[INT – Young House – Zach’s Bedroom – Day]
(Paul enters his son’s room carrying a tray with two cups of cocoa on it)
Paul: I’ve made us some cocoa. How are you feeling?
Zach: I’ve felt awful for two days now. I think I should see a doctor
(Zach reaches for the nearest cup of cocoa. Paul takes his hand and puts it around the other cup)
Paul: Its probably just a touch of the flu. I’ll keep an eye on it. Its this house, Zach, I feel it too. It isn’t healthy for us to stay here
Zach: I told you. I’m not moving
Paul: It would be for your own good. You can’t keep running around doing the things your doing….Susan Mayer’s kitchen for example. People are going to catch on. Wouldn’t it be great to just start over? Somewhere in the country maybe. You can make some new friends, maybe even meet a new girl. How about I let you sleep on it?
(takes the mug of cocoa off the sleeping Zach)
Paul: We’ll talk about moving tomorrow.
[EXT – Shops – Day]
Mary Alice Voiceover: The lack of passion in her marriage had become an unpleasant reality for Lynette. Then one day it occure dto her, that the best way to fight reality was with a bit of fantasy. Of course all the fantasy in the world won’t do you anygood if nobody turns up to enjoy it.
[INT – Scavo House – Living Room – Night]
(Tom and his friend come home after a late night at work)
Tom’s Co-worker: I really feel bad about putting you out like this Tom.
Tom: You’re not putting anyone out. You’ve been flying all day. Why stay in some hotel? I just hope you don’t mind sleeping on the…
(both Tom and his friend stop and stare in shock at Lynette passed out in the maid’s outfit on the sofa)
Tom:….sofa
Tom’s Co-worker: yep, the sofa should fine
[INT – Scavo House – Kitchen – Day]
(Lynette is cleaning up the kitchen after feeding the hungry hoards)
Tom: oh hey honey, why don’t you just let the maid get that?
Lynette: oh , ha ha ha. Not funny Tom
Tom: By the way, Gary’s showering. He asked if you could just bring him a clean towel and yo’re riding crop
Lynette: Tom!
(Lynette kicks Tom on the butt as she walks behind him)
Tom: Oh, come on! (Laughs)
Lynette: No I’m glad that you find my humiliation so entertaining
Tom: Honey, you were wearing a French Maid’s costume! What were you thinking?
Lynette: I was thinking that our marriage was in trouble and one of us should do something to fix it
Tom: (this totally blindsides Tom) Wow! Since when is our marriage in trouble?
(Lynette looks over her shoulder at him)
Tom: Okay, so we haven’t had sex in a few days? Big deal, it happens
(car honks outside)
Lynette: That’s Annabel, how ironic
Tom: How is Annabel relevant to this conversation?
Lynette: Because she now comes to our house everyday to remind you of what I’m not.
Tom: What?!
Lynette: She’s the fantasy, tom, the hot woman that you work with everyday. With her manicured nails and designer outfits. I am the reality. The wife who never wears make-up and whose clothes smell like a hamper
Tom: This might be the stupidest thing you’ve ever said
Lynette: I used to be the fantasy. There was a time when I didn’t need a maid’s outfit because I knew I was enough for you, even wearing a smelly t-shirt. And clearly, that’s no longer the case
(she’s nearly in tears having to have this conversation with her husband)
Tom: Okay, honey, I don’t know what to say. If there’s some way I can fix this I will do it. Just tell me and I’ll do it
Lynette: No, theres nothing to fix. We’ve changed. That’s all I’m saying
(The car honks outside again and Gary comes downstairs dressed for work)
Gary: Are you ready?
(Tom looks back and fore between his wife and his workmate. He’s torn about whether he should leave or stay and comfort his wife)
Lynette: You should go. You don’t want to keep Annabel waiting
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom – Day]
(Carlos is soaking in the tub, which Gabrielle is pouring hot sauce into a bowl of Salsa)
Carlos: hey, be careful with that. you’ll give the baby heartburn
Gabrielle: I can’t get it hot enough. My hormones are killing my taste buds.
Carlos: you’ve been paying more attention to your food than me lately
Gabrielle: I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Gabrielle is outside pouring even more hot sauce into the salsa. We see John’s red truck pull up outside the house. Gabrielle sees him and tries to keep him away from the house)
Gabrielle: John! What are you doing?
John: I’ve been doing some serious thinking about the baby
Gabrielle: Really? Why?
John: Because there’s a good chance that its mine and if it is I want to do the right thing
Gabrielle: No, nobody expects you to do the right thing
John: Yeah, I kinda figured you might try and blow me off. That’s why I’m going direct to Mr Solis
Gabrielle: What? Are you crazy? He would kill us both!
John: He and I need to hash this out, man to man. Its whats best for the baby.
Gabrielle: John!
John: Well are you going to go get him or am I?
Gabrielle: (suddenly very calm) Alright. You win. Wait right here.
(Gabrielle makes John stay outside as she slowly enters the house and closes the front door behind her. she pauses for a second at the door to collect herself, she suddenly runs upstairs.)
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Carlos is getting out of the tub, all covered in bubbles, when Gabrielle comes in)
Gabrielle: Don’t get out
Carlos: Why?
Gabrielle: Because…I was going to get in
(Carlos looks confused)
Gabrielle: (flirting) Yeah. You see pregnant women have very strong urges
Carlos: Alright
Gabrielle: I’m going to freshen up, and I’ll be right back
Carlos: Okay
Gabrielle: You sit. Sit!
(She runs into the bedroom)
Gabrielle: I’m turning on some music
(The music starts and Carlos sinks back into the tub, very happy look on his face)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Gabrielle runs back down the stairs and sees John pacing on the front lawn. She goes outside and quickly locks the door before John can get into the house)
Gabrielle: Um, Carlos is unavailable at the moment
(John tries the door)
John: You’re lying
Gabrielle: John, what are you doing?
(John starts pounding on the door)
John: MR SOLIS! MR SOLIS! Open Up!
Gabrielle: Stop it
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Shots of Carlos in the tub, the music is up loud enough that he can’t hear what is going on outside. He’s playing with a flannel)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(John is determined to get in the house though and isn’t put off. He goes over to the chairs on the deck and picks one up, ready to throw it through the window)
Gabrielle: What the hell are you????
John: Mrs Solis, get out of the way
Gabrielle: John! John, you…you can’t
(Gabrielle has been trying to stop him by putting herself between John and the window. But realising that isn’t going to stop him, she reaches for the nearest thing to throw at him…the salsa. She throws it in his face! It shocks John and he falls backwards over the edge of the porch and ends up flat on his back)
Gabrielle: (Screams) Oh my god!
[INT – Solis House – Bathroom - Day]
(Carlos is still in the tub, oblivious to all the screaming outside. He’s squirting water through his hands)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Gabrielle checks that John is okay)
John: Oh god! It burns
Gabrielle: Its just salsa
John: Well it feels like acid
Gabrielle: Really? I’ve been finding it so bland
John: MR SOLIS! MR SOLIS! COME OUT HERE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!
Gabrielle: John! Stop! Shut the hell up! Listen to me, you are never going to be the father of this baby. No matter what the paternity tests say, it is Carlos’ child
John: How can you say that?
Gabrielle: Because Carlos can provide, John! He can give this baby everything. Piano lessons and summer camp…and the best colleges. He can raise this child the way it deserves to be raised, you can’t
John: This isn’t about money. This is about whats best for the baby.
Gabrielle: If you want whats best for the baby, you will help me. Help me make sure this baby doesn’t grow up poor like I did.
(We see Carlos come out of the house looking for Gabrielle)
Carlos: What is taking you????
(On hearing her husband, Gabrielle looks pleadingly at John not to say anything)
Carlos: Oh, hi John. What are you doing here?
Gabrielle: He, uh….
John: Justin was thinking the hydrangeas needed replacing, he wanted me to come by to get a second opinion
Carlos: Your friend, he’s a good kid, but he’s not half the gardener you were. You should come back and work for us. I mean you’re practically family
John: Thank you Mr Solis
(John looks at Gabrielle one last time and leaves)
[EXT – Mrs Tilman’s House – Day]
(Shots of Mrs Tilman sitting on her porch reading a book. She watches Paul Young come out of his house, get in his car and drive away. She goes over to the Young house. She ring the doorbell several times)
Mrs Tilman: Zach! Are you here?
(We see (from the inside) Mrs Tilman lifting up the garage door and entering the house. Once inside she sees all the boxes. She goes upstairs to Zach’s bedroom and finds him sprawled across his bed, face down. She rolls him over and checks if he’s breathing and his pulse. Next we see her searching the downstairs trying to find what Paul has been giving to his son. She finds a bottle of pills inside an oven glove in the kitchen)
[INT – Young House – Zach’s Bedroom – Day]
Mrs Tilman: I have to do this dear. I know you’ll forgive me
(She slaps Zach across the face, and he reacts in shock to the slap)
(Shots of Mrs Tilman and Zach leaving the house, with Mrs Tilman holding up Zach)
(Back inside we see a letter left on the sideboard that says “Paul, Zach is with me, Felicia”)
[INT – Scavo House – Living Room – Night]
(Lynette is sitting on the sofa, enjoying some quiet time and reading a magazine, when Tom comes home)
Tom: Hey
Lynette: Hey
Tom: Are the boys asleep?
Lynette: Tucked in tight
Tom: And Penny?
Lynette: Sound asleep
(Tom gets an egg timer out of his pocket, winds it up and places it on the arm of the sofa)
Tom: Okay, when this goes off, meet me in the bedroom
(He heads up the stairs)
Lynette: Tom, what is this?
Tom: Not until it goes off
[INT – Outside Tom and Lynette’s Bedroom – Night]
(The egg timer goes off)
Lynette: (Sceptically) Alright… I’m coming in
(enters the bedroom and looks around. She sees Tom in the bathroom posing wearing just a thong)
Lynette: (squeals in delight at what she’s seeing) Oh my god!
Tom: (in an English {I think} accent) You want fantasy? I can do fantasy (roars)
Tom: Come to me woman and prepare to be boarded
(Lynette is thrilled at the prospect!!)
Tom: Please will you make it fast, these things are just chafing
(Runs over to the bed and makes himself available to her)
Lynette: You know, I kinda like it
Tom: Great. Kill the lights
(Lynette goes to switch off the lights then stops)
Lynette: No
Tom: Please?
Lynette: No, I’m not turning off the lights
Tom: Please
Lynette: No. nononono
(Lynette straddles Tom and they kiss. She starts making playful noises at her husband)
[INT – Mrs Tilman’s House – Kitchen – Night]
(Mrs Tilman is having a cup of tea at the kitchen table when theres a knock at the door)
Mrs Tilman: Its open
(She turns to see who has entered)
Mrs Tilman: Oh, Paul its you. I’m so glad. I have some papers I want you to look at
Paul: Where is my son?
Mrs Tilman: Upstairs. Sleeping off those tranquillisers you gave him
Paul: I don’t know what you’re doing but I’m taking my son and going
(Turns to leave)
Mrs Tilman: (sternly) I am not my sister, Paul. You do not want to screw with me
(at this, Paul stops and turns back to Mrs Tilman)
Mrs Tilman: (back to her normal voice) Martha kept a journal.
(She starts to set out across the table a series of paper photocopies which have small writing all over them)
Mrs Tilman: Every drab event of her drab life meticulously recorded. Including her discovery that you and your wife stole a baby. A baby named Dana.
(Paul picks up the papers and reads them)
Mrs Tilman: I’m sorry if the copies are hard to read. I hid the originals in a safe place. It seemed like a reasonable precaution seeing as you killed Martha and all. Would you like a cookie?
(Paul sits down at the table)
Mrs Tilman: Suit yourself. Now I have a little proposition for you…
Paul: These are the fantasies of a bored, lonely woman. They prove nothing.
Mrs Tilman: The only reason the police haven’t caught you yet is because they have no reason to suspect you. But once they find out that Martha was blackmailing Ange – sorry, Mary Alice-
Paul: What is it you want?
Mrs Tilman: The same thing you want. For you to leave town, change your name and start your life over again somewhere far away from here.
Paul: If you’re so sure of yourself, why don’t you just turn me in?
Mrs Tilman: Because Zach would never forgive me. And its important that we be on good terms….seeing as he’s going to be living with me now
Paul: What?
Mrs Tilman: Your bags are packed, you’re about to become a fugitive! Is that the kind of life you want for your son? The two of you spending every night in a different town? No. you’re a better father than that
Paul: I can’t just leave him
(He gets up and stares towards the upstairs where his son is sleeping)
Mrs Tilman: You stole him so that you could give him a better life. That was a noble act, Paul. Truly. And its time for you to be noble again
Paul: Can I at least say goodbye?
Mrs Tilman: Did you allow me to say goodbye to Martha?
(Paul leaves. Mrs Tilman sighs with relief that the meeting went as planned. She pulls her hand out from under the table and reveals a kitchen knife that she was hiding there)
[EXT – Taylor Estate – Day]
(Susan drives up to the front of the house)
Susan: (to the big, burly, black security guard that approaches her when she stops the car) Oh hi. I’m looking for Kendra Taylor?
Security Guard: I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave
Susan: Oh, oh, you don’t understand. I can’t just drive away
(Susan gets out of the car)
Security Guard: Please, back in the car
Susan: Look, um (reads his name tag) Bob, let me try to explain
Security Guard: In the car
Susan: You see the thing is. This is probably the last chance for me to find out if I can be with the man I love
Security Guard: Ma’am
Susan: And Bob (puts her hands on Bob’s shoulders – he does not look amused by this), I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means to me. So, I’m going to walk up to that house, and you’re going to let me. And you know why? Because behind that badge and that big, you could crush me like a fly, chest, theres a heart. A heart that believes in love
(Bob looks like he’s thinking about what she’s said….but the next shot is of Bob forcing Susan onto the hood of her car, holding her arm behind her back. As she’s lying there we see someone approaching)
Security Guard: Just get in the damned car
Susan: Its not my fault you don’t have love in your heart
Kendra: Susan? Is that you?
Susan: (from her restrained position) Hi Kendra
[EXT – Taylor House – Day]
(we see Susan, Noah and Kendra sat at a table outside, with the file on Mike Delfino laid out in front of them)
Susan: And despite the evidence, despite all that’s been laid out in front of me, I can’t help feeling that theres more to the story. Does that sound stupid?
Kendra: No, no, of course not-
(Noah lays his hand on his daughter’s to stop her from talking to Susan)
Noah: Unfortunately you’ve got the entire story here
(Kendra gets up from the table unable to listen anymore to her father)
Susan: But Mike’s lawyer pleaded self defence and if that’s the case…
Noah: Delfino sold black tar heroin to my daughter, he killed the cop who tried to bust him, got convicted and did his time. End of story.
Kendra: Dad!
Noah: She deserves to hear the truth, no matter how terrible. I’m sorry Ms Mayer, I really am
Susan: Right. I appreciate you talking to me.
(Susan is on the brink of tears. She gathers up the file and her bag very quickly and walks off)
Kendra: What the hell was that?
Noah: If she knew the truth, she’d go running back to him. She might talk him out of doing his job. I can’t risk that. I just don’t have the time.
(he drops a kiss on his daughter’s head and walks off. Kendra stares after Susan for a second and makes a decision)
[EXT – Taylor Estate – Day]
(Shots of Susan getting back into her car and pulling on her seat belt. She looks surprised when the passenger door opens and Kendra gets in)
Kendra: Quick. Drive around the corner. We need to talk
[INT – Van Der Kamp House – Living Room – Day]
(Rex is reading the newspaper, doing the crossword whilst Bree is knitting baby clothes)
Bree: What do you think, Rex? I chose green so that it will work whether Gabrielle has a boy or a girl
Rex: (absentmindedly) its great
Bree: Whats the matter? You’ve been mopy all day
Rex: I’m sorry, I’m just worried about the test results. If I don’t find out whats wrong with me soon I’m going to lose my mind.
Bree: Oh honey
Rex: You must get tired of hearing me complain
Bree: No, not at all. I think that we should talk about it. In fact I think maybe we don’t talk enough.
Rex: I guess
Bree: Why don’t we start doing things again, as a couple?
Rex: Mmhmm
(Rex is more interested in his crossword than the conversation with his wife)
Bree: I think that as soon as you’re well enough we should go on a vacation. Take a trip, go somewhere fun. Remember our trip to Italy?
Rex: Yeah, sort of
Bree: Sort of? Don’t you remember the glorious food and the gorgeous scenery?
Rex: What I remember is sweating like a pig and wishing we hadn’t spent all our savings. So where would you like to go?
Bree: (heartbroken) It doesn’t matter. You decide
[EXT – Taylor Estate – Susan’s Car – Day]
Kendra: Mike wasn’t a drug dealer.
Susan: What?
Kendra: Deirdre was. Mike, he kicked the habit early on, but Deirdre couldn’t, or didn’t, want to…I don’t know. Anyway, she spiralled out of control and was in and out of jail. One day an undercover cop caught her using and he forced her to trade sex for freedom. Look, Mike found out about it and he tried to put a stop to it. He busted in on the two of them. He…the cop pulled a gun on him, but Mike fought him off. They both went over the balcony… Mike was the only one who got back up.
Susan: It was self defence
Kendra: Yeah. Mike went to jail trying to save my sister. But he couldn’t.
Susan: I knew he was good. I just knew it.
(Susan’s crying such happy tears at this point. And Kendra nods, glad that she’s finally told the truth.)
Susan: Thank you
[INT – Jewellery Shop – Day]
(shot of an engagement ring case on a glass top. The sales assistant opens it up to
show a gorgeous ring)
Mary Alice Voiceover: The vow is simple really.
(We see its Sophie and Morty in the jewellery shop. Sophie is extatic with her new ring. She puts on the new ring and hugs Morty)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Those who take it promise to stay together for better or for worse….
(The sales assistant hands Morty the bill for the ring. He reads it and can’t believe how much it is)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….For richer or for poorer….
[INT – Hospital Room – Day]
(Rex is in a hospital gown, undergoing more tests. Bree stands by watching him, looking incredibly pale herself)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….In sickness and in health….
[EXT – Scavo House – Day]
(Tom and Lynette are kissing as he is about to leave for work)
Mary Alice Voiceover:….To honour and to cherish….
(Lynette watches her husband leave, looking very happy with herself)
[EXT – Solis House – Day]
(Carlos is hugging Gabrielle goodbye. She looks over his shoulder at John who is mowing a lawn down the street)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….Forsaking all others….
(Gabrielle closes her eyes and turns her attention back to Carlos)
{INT – Young House – Day]
(Shot of Paul and Mary Alice’s wedding photo)
Mary Alice Voiceover:….Until death do us part.
(Paul is staring at the photo, then turns it over and places it in the suitcase he is packing)
[EXT – Wisteria Lane – Outside Delfino House Day]
(we see Mike getting out of his car and walking into his house. As the shot pulls back we see Susan running across the street towards him)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Yes, the vow is simple.
(Mike sees Susan running across the street and is shocked to see her)
Mary Alice Voiceover: Finding someone worthy of such a promise is the hard part….
Susan: (Susan is very animated, moving her hands and can’t get her words out) Um, um… She, she…..i uh.
(Susan gives up on trying to explain everything to him and so goes to kiss Mike. He’s shocked at first, but gives in to the kiss – AWWWW!)
Mary Alice Voiceover: ….But if we can, that is when we begin to live happily ever after.
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