Original Airdate (ABC): 28/NOV/2004
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TRANSCRIPT:
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SCENE: Focus in on a Bible being opened. Mary Alice begins speaking.
MARY ALICE: There is a widely read book that tells us everyone is a sinner. Of course, not everyone who reads this book feels guilt over the bad things that they do.
Pull out to see that Bree opened the Bible and is reading from it.
MARY ALICE: But Bree Van de Kamp did. In fact, Bree had spent most of her life, feeling guilty.
Flashbacks showing the images of what Mary Alice is speaking of.
MARY ALICE: As a child, she felt guilty about not getting straight A’s. As a teenager, she felt guilty about letting her boyfriend go to second base. As a newlywed, she felt guilty about taking three weeks to get out her thank you cards she knew the transgressions of her past were nothing compared with the sin she was about to commit.
SCENE: The Van de Kamp family is all in the living room. Danielle and Rex are seated while Andrew paces, and Bree looks through the Bible.
DANIELLE: Couldn't we just go to the police and tell them it was an accident?
REX: This wasn't some simple DUI. Not only was your brother drinking, Andrew left the scene of the crime. That makes it a hit and run.
ANDREW: Maybe I could go to Canada, you know, until the statute of limitations is up.
DANIELLE: Do you really think mom and dad are going to foot the bill while you go moose hunting for seven years?
REX: If Carlos’ mother dies, there is no statute of limitations.
.DANIELLE: Right. Because then it’s murder.
ANDREW: Shut up!
DANIELLE: You shut up!
ANDREW: How could it be murder, it was an accident!
(pause)
BREE: We have to get rid of the car. But we can't sell it. The police might find it, and there
could be DNA. We take the car to a bad part of town. We'll leave the keys in the ignition and the doors unlocked. If the police don't find it, we'll get the insurance money, and if they do, it wasn't in our possession. Anyone could have hit Mrs. Solis.
ANDREW: That sounds good!
REX: Bree, are you sure?
BREE: Our son could spent the rest of his life in jail. I won't allow that.
Bree stands up and puts the Bible away.
MARY ALICE: Bree knew what she was about to do was wrong, but like most sinners, she would worry about her guilt tomorrow.
BREE: Well everybody should, uh, go wash up. We're having pancakes for breakfast.
MARY ALICE: Not since my own suicide had violence intruded upon the serenity of life on Wisteria Lane in such a conspicuous fashion. And needless to say, my friends attacked the problem head on.
Lynette, Susan, and Bree are all in the middle of the street, trying to clean off the skid marks on the road. Lynette brought the broom. Susan brought the trash bags. And Bree brought the industrial strength solvent.
LYNETTE: Woo. That stuff is strong!
BREE: It has to be, I don't want Gabrielle and Carlos coming home to this ugly reminder in front of their house.
LYNETTE: So, has anyone been over there?
SUSAN: Julie and I went over this morning.
BREE: How is Juanita doing?
SUSAN: She’s been in a coma ever since she came out of ER. Nobody knows when or even if she'll wake up.
LYNETTE: This is awful. Carlos must be just devastated.
SUSAN: I hope she wakes soon. Maybe she can tell us who was driving that car.
BREE: We can only hope.
A red car zips around the corner and speeds past the women.
Lynette stands up, shouting after the car.
LYNETTE: Slow down, you jerk, this is a residential neighborhood.
She throws her sponge at the car and it bounces off of the car's hood.
SUSAN: Wow, that’s quite a pitching arm you've got there.
LYNETTE: It pisses me off. I've got four kids, you know. I was up all night reading statistics online. One out of every four traffic accidents happens on residential streets. I hope whoever hit Juanita gets put away for life.
BREE: don't you think that’s a little bit extreme?
LYNETTE: An innocent woman gets hit by a car and the driver just takes off? I don't think it’s extreme.
SCENE: Carlos and Gabrielle are in Mama Solis's hospital room. Carlos sits by the bed and Gabrielle checks her nails as she sits on the dresser.
GABRIELLE: You should go home and get some rest, eat something. You have a ton of messages from work--Tanaka called; said it was urgent. Carlos, I can stay here with your mother.
CARLOS: I need to be here if she wakes up.
GABRIELLE: You can't go on like this. You have to take care of yourself.
CARLOS: And what if she dies? People slip into comas all the time and never come out.
GABRIELLE: Don't say that! We need to stay positive.
The door opens and John sticks his head in.
JOHN: Mr. and Mrs. Solis?
GABRIELLE: John!
JOHN: Is it okay if I come in?
CARLOS: Of course.
JOHN: Mr. Solis, I'm so sorry this happened.
CARLOS: It means a lot that you came.
They embrace.
CARLOS: Look, I think I'm gonna to go down to the chapel and pray. You want to come?
GABRIELLE: Um, no, I think I will stay here with mama.
JOHN: Is it all right if I come?
CARLOS: Of course, we need all the prayers we can get.
John leaves the flowers he had brought for Mama Solis on the table by her bed, then leaves with Carlos. Gabrielle is annoyed. A nurse comes in with a bucket of water.
NURSE: Mrs. Solis, it’s time for her sponge bath.
GABRIELLE: Come again?
NURSE: Sometimes family members prefer to administer sponge baths themselves.
GABRIELLE: I think I'll pass.
SCENE: Mrs. Huber is neatly packing luggage on the kitchen table when her front door opens and Edie comes in.
EDIE: Martha. Where’s your purse?
MARTHA: Over there, why?
Edie walks over to the purse without saying a word and opens it.
MARTHA: What are you doing?"
EDIE: I am taking back the $40 that you stole out of my purse.
MARTHA: Edie!
EDIE: We both know you did it, now hand it over!
MARTHA: I have taken nothing from your purse, and if you're missing money, I'd ask one of those strange men you parade through here at all hours.
She grabs the purse from Edie and walks away.
EDIE: I am not going to apologize for having a healthy sex life!
MARTHA: Healthy? I'm going to have to burn every sheet you've touched.
EDIE: I want my money.
MARTHA: And I want those non-fat peach yogurts. They didn't just walk out of that fridge by themselves.
EDIE: Well you can deduct it from the $40 that you're going to give me, now!
MARTHA: You're my best friend, why would I steal from you?
EDIE: It’s no secret that you've been having financial problems. I hear you bitching on the phone to your bank.
MARTHA: That’s it! I can put up with your debauchery and your food theft, but I will not tolerate spying. I want you out.
EDIE: You don't mean that.
MARTHA: Yes I do. I'm leaving tomorrow to visit my sister for a few days. I want you gone by the time I get back.
EDIE: I'll do one better. I will leave today.
She takes her purse and leaves. Once she's gone, Mrs. Huber reaches into her blouse and removes some money, which she then puts into her purse.
SCENE: Lynette is lying on a table while Dr. Chang, an acupuncturist, places needles into her forehead.
LYNETTE: I hope this works. My sleep cycle is totally out of whack. I'm up all night, I'm dozing off during the day.
DR. CHANG: Trust me, this will do the trick. In fact, you should be feeling more relaxed already.
LYNETTE: You know, you're right.
Faintly, from outside of the room, calls and shouts from Lynette's kids can be heard.
LYNETTE: Boys, I can hear you out there. Now be quiet. Just sit there and color.
DR. CHANG: Now is not a good time to be moving.
LYNETTE: Oh, yeah. Sorry.
DR. CHANG: Just block everything out, and let it go. Imagine that you're in a forest.
There’s a babbling brook nearby, and the wind is just coming through the trees...
Parker comes through the door, dragging a plastic tree.
PARKER: Mommy.
LYNETTE: Parker! I don't know --ow!--what you think that you're doing, but put that back where it belongs!
LYNETTE: I'm sorry. You were saying something about wind?
DR. CHANG: I was just creating a soothing image.
LYNETTE: Oh, for the love of God!
She gets off the table and opens up the door to where her boys are waiting.
LYNETTE: Knock it off, you little monsters.
DR. CHANG: Mrs. Scavo, please lie down. we need to finish this.
LYNETTE: Look, I'm on my last nerves, so I'm going to level with you. I've screwed up my entire system by taking my system by taking my kids’ ADD medication. Yeah, that’s right, you heard me. I plan to stop, but right now I need to sleep, and I need more than a few, crappy, needles, so whattya got?
DR. CHANG: I'm not licensed to write prescriptions.
LYNETTE: I know you're not.
The acupuncturist goes to her cabinet and removes a small bag of herbs. She turns to Lynette.
DR. CHANG: This will put you right to sleep. It’s a very powerful herbal remedy. Now promise me you're going to use it judiciously?
LYNETTE: Sure. Whatever.
SCENE: Susan knocks on Mike's screen door.
SUSAN: Knock, knock!
MIKE: Hey! Come on in!
SUSAN: You're a mess.
MIKE: Ah, yeah, I'm tearing out these leaky pipes in the upstairs bathroom. Wall to wall rotten wood.
SUSAN: Sounds like a job. So, Julie said that you came by before?
MIKE: Um.. Yeah. Uh... yeah, I was thinking about driving up to the Girmany vineyard tomorrow for this wine tasting, and, um..
SUSAN: What time do you want me to be ready?
MIKE: How about six?
SUSAN: Six is good.
MIKE: All right. I thought maybe afterwards, we could have a little dinner, maybe some dancing.
SUSAN: Sounds great. Um, you do know that it’s like a two-hour drive up there. And isn't that kind of late to be coming back?
MIKE: I thought if, you know, worse came to worse, we could grab a room...
SUSAN: Oh? Like a hotel room?
MIKE: Yeah, as a last resort.
SUSAN: Of course, of course, yes. So, maybe we should make reservations, you know, just in case.
MIKE: Yeah, I found some hotels online. Let me get a printout.
She laughs and he goes upstairs. Bongo, who had been off in the corner, comes towards Susan.
SUSAN: Hey, Bongo, come here. You want a treat? Hey Mike, where do you keep the dog biscuits?
MIKE: I'm sorry, what?
SUSAN: Oh, never mind! We'll just find them ourselves. We'll go find them ourselves.
She opens up one of Mike's cabinets and, in plain view, are stacks of money and a gun. Susan takes out a couple of stacks of money and looks at them.
Mike comes down the stairs.
MIKE: I'm sorry Susan. I couldn't hear you. What did you say?
SUSAN: Nothing. It’s not important.
She quickly puts the money back and closes the cabinet. The phone rings.
MIKE: It’s my tile guy. Here, see what looks good.
He hands her the printout of hotels and answers the phone.
MIKE: Hey Phil. Um, no. No. Tomorrow morning I'm making a lumber run. It’s no good. Uh, no, I'll be gone tomorrow night, too.
SUSAN: I could let him in.
MIKE: No, that’s okay.
SUSAN: No, it’s fine, just give me the key. I'll be around all day.
MIKE: All right. Thanks. Phil, I'll give the key to my neighbor. She'll be here to let you in.
SCENE: A car drives down the street of an old, worn-out neighborhood.
MARYALICE: Like every city, Fairview had a neighborhood that was less than desirable. It was an accepted fact: anyone who lingered there after midnight was usually up to no good. Rex and Bree Van de Kamp were no exception.
The car stops and Bree gets out. In a nonchalant manner, she walks around the car and heads towards Rex, who's parked in his own car in a darkened alleyway, with a perfect view of the car Bree had driven.
She gets into the car with Rex.
REX: You really think this is gonna work?
BREE: This is the most impoverished neighborhood in the city. Trust me, somebody will steal the car.
REX: How can you be so sure?
BREE: Because I have faith in the poor.
SCENE: On the television is a home video of Mary Alice wearing a party hat. As the video plays, Paul watches it as he talks.
PAUL: She’s so beautiful. I shot this last year on her birthday. How you going to do it?
MR. SHAW: I made contact with her at a bar. She thinks I'm a real estate developer.
PAUL: Is she going to suffer?
MR. SHAW: No. Edie Britt will disappear, and you'll go back to your life.
PAUL: Before you do it, do you think you should ask her why she sent this note to my wife?
MR. SHAW: You can't think like that, Mr. Young. You can't give in to your curiosity. Curiosity leads to guilt. Guilt leads to talking. You still have questions?
Paul sighs and shakes his head no.
MR. SHAW: I want to be clear about something. When I walk away with this cash, it’s done. No refunds. No buyer's remorse.
PAUL: I get it.
MR. SHAW: We won't talk again so I'll ask one more time: are you sure you want this?
PAUL: My wife is dead because of Edie Britt. I absolutely want this.
He touches her face on the TV screen.
SCENE: Rex and Bree sit relaxed in the car, watching the car Bree left behind.
REX: You've been awfully quiet.
BREE: I had just been...thinking about the kids. They sure grew up quickly, didn't they?
REX: They sure did.
BREE: I remember telling them when they were babies that they weren't allowed to get any bigger because they were so adorable. And we were so happy.
REX: Yeah, well...
BREE: They sure didn't turn out like we expected them to.
REX: No, they didn't.
BREE: We could have been better parents.
REX: We weren't that bad.
BREE: We still have so much to teach them. For starters, we need to get across to Andrew the enormity of what he’s done.
REX: I don't - I suppose we could punish them.
BREE: All right, then what’s the appropriate punishment for a child who drives over a woman?
REX: I...I don't know.
BREE: You know, no matter how the kids turn out, I still love them.
REX: Of course, you do.
BREE: But I'll never forgive them for growing up so quickly.
REX: Hey, look.
A man stands by the car on the street, looks around, then quickly gets into the car and drives away.
SCENE: Susan packs as she talks with Julie.
SUSAN: And then I opened the cabinet and there was all this money in it. I mean, there was wads of it.
JULIE: That’s why you're freaking out? A few stacks of cash? Come on."
SUSAN: Well what? Realistically, I've known this guy a few weeks. I mean, he could be a hit man for the mob!
JULIE: If you really think that, why are going on a trip with him?
SUSAN: I never get out of the house.
JULIE: Mom, if you really need something to freak out about, just remember that you're
going to spend the night with Mike in a hotel. No man has seen you naked in years, except your doctor.
SUSAN: Yeah, and he retired. I try not to take that personally.
She puts on a sweater.
JULIE: You look old in that.
SUSAN: Maybe I am being silly, but going to a hotel with a man is a big deal to me. What if Mike is hiding something?
JULIE: Like what?
SUSAN: I don't know.
A horn honks outside.
JULIE: That’s Dad. I gotta go. Now, listen to me. No more freaking out. I need this weekend to go well.
SUSAN: Why do you care so much?
JULIE: Because I'm gonna have a husband of my own someday, and I really don't want you living with us.
SCENE: The four Van de Kamps are visiting Carlos and Gabrielle.
BREE: Are the lady fingers okay?
GABRIELLE: Oh, they're terrific. We just appreciate you all stopping by.
BREE: We just want you to know how much we care.
REX: So, have the police come up with any leads?
GABRIELLE: Not really. They'll be able to determine the make and model of the car, but without any eye witnesses, no one seems very optimistic.
BREE: Well, more importantly, is there any good news about Juanita?
GABRIELLE: No change. All we can do is wait and hope for the best.
DANIELLE: We put her on our prayer list at church.
GABRIELLE: Oh, that’s very sweet, Danielle, thank you.
CARLOS: It must really help during times like these--having kids.
REX: Yeah, they're a blessing.
CARLOS: Children make everything worthwhile. You guys are the future. Legacy.
ANDREW: Thanks.
CARLOS: After we're all dead, you'll be the only ones left to carry on. Gabrielle and I are about to start a family.
REX: Oh, hey, that--that’s great.
BREE: Well, when did you decide this?
GABRIELLE: It’s a fairly recent development.
She stares pointedly at Carlos, who bows his head in slight acknowledgement.
BREE: I see.
GABRIELLE: We'll talk about this later.
CARLOS: Face it. We're shallow people. I mean, can our lives have any meaning if all we ever do is buy stuff?
GABRIELLE: That depends on what we buy.
CARLOS: I want a child.
GABRIELLE: In case you've forgotten, before we got married, we made a deal. No kids.
CARLOS: Yeah, well, deals were meant to be renegotiated.
GABRIELLE: Well, we're not negotiating my uterus.
BREE: We should probably be going.
REX: Yeah.
BREE: Thank you so much.
The Van de Kamps leave the Solis's house and walk back to their house.
DANIELLE: That was weird.
BREE: I feel awful for Carlos. That talk about children was obviously coming from his grief.
ANDREW: Whatever. I'm off the hook.
He and Danielle touch fists and walk off. Bree stops walking and stares after him.
SCENE: Lynette lies down on the couch and covers herself up with blankets when the doorbell rings.
MARY ALICE: A weary Lynette drank her potent tea in hopes of finally finding the sleep that had eluded her. Unfortunately for Lynette, there would be no rest for the weary.
LYNETTE: Go to hell.
The doorbell rings several more times.
LYNETTE: Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell.
She stomps to the door and opens it. A stream of boy scouts with a scout mother rush inside.
SCOUT MOTHER: Sorry we're late, Kenny Lipman couldn't find his handkerchief. Come on guys!
LYNETTE: The scout meeting is today?
The boys run all over the house, being noisy, as Lynette stares at them. Later, the boys are separate into groups, with the other scout mother monitoring the boys at the table and Lynette on the floor with her three boys and one other boy. They have books on rope tying in front of them. Lynette leans against the couch, sleeping sitting up.
PARKER: Mommy!
LYNETTE: What? Oh...right! Okay, boys. This knot is called the bowline. It is a remarkably useful knot. Now, pick up your ropes. Okay. First we cross this end over here, and then we make a loop, and then another loop, and then you sort of pull it through, I'm guessing, and then, ready? Yank it taut.
She pulls her rope taut and it's a straight piece of rope.
TWIN: Mommy, that doesn't look like the picture.
LYNETTE: You're never going to be a sailor, what do you care? Okay everybody, let’s just take a break!
She gets up.
LYNETTE: Thanks!
She walks away and the boys on the floor start hitting each other with the rope. Lynette goes to the bathroom and takes out some pills, which she swallows. She pauses, then swallows some more.
SCENE: Susan is getting a package from the door.
PHIL: Okay, it’s all up there. Can I get a signature?
SUSAN: Oh, of course.
PHIL: Thank you very much.
SUSAN: Here you go. Have a nice weekend.
PHIL: You too, lady.
She closes the door behind him, then heads for the kitchen, where she removes all of the money and the gun. Later, she sits on the living room couch, counting out the money. She hears a car door slam and when she looks out the window, see Phil getting out of his truck.
Quickly, she gathers up all of the money and the gun and rushes up the stairs.
PHIL: Hey ma'am, you still here? I forgot to give you a receipt! Ma'am?
Susan heads into Mike's bathroom and dumps everything into the sink. She climbs on the toilet to look out the window and sees Phil driving away. She lets out a sigh of relief. She then jumps down, falling through the floor, where she stays there, trapped.
SUSAN: Hello! I need help, I'm up here, I'm trapped in the floor, hello?!
Bongo comes running in to stare at her.
SUSAN: If you came in here to judge me, you can just leave!
Bongo looks behind him to the door.
SUSAN: Wait! Wait! No! Wait, don't, don't go! Wait, I have an idea. Here! Here! Here! Here, grab the towel, Bongo! Come on, grab the other end! Come on, boy! That’s it! Get the other end! Come on, Bongo! Pull the other end! Come on, Bongo! What are you doing? Bongo, over here!
He goes over and starts drinking out of the toilet.
SUSAN: Bongo? Oh, oh! don't do that! Bongo!
She grimaces.
SCENE: Gabrielle walks up the path to John's house, past John, himself, who's working on the yard.
MARY ALICE: While Susan was hopelessly stuck, Gabrielle was moving to confront the issue of her young lover’s restless conscience.
JOHN: Nobody’s home.
GABRIELLE: I know, I've been watching. I came to talk to you.
She turns slightly and sees that he's stopped working.
MARY ALICE: Although she would need to be discrete.
GABRIELLE: Keep working! What were you thinking, showing up at the hospital?
JOHN: I had to see if she was okay.
GABRIELLE: You need to keep a low profile right now.
JOHN: Look, you and I are finished. From now on, I'm sticking with Danielle.
GABRIELLE: Why would you say that?
Gabrielle rings the doorbell again.
JOHN: I hate myself for what we did! Okay? I can't sleep at night! I've got to make a clean break.
GABRIELLE: We weren't driving the car. We didn't chase Juanita into the street!
JOHN: Well, she wouldn't have been there if we weren't having an affair.
Gabrielle turns away from the door to face John.
GABRIELLE: Oh, for God’s sakes, between you and Carlos! Listen to me carefully, you didn't do anything wrong.
She rings the doorbell again.
JOHN: That’s not what Father Crowley thinks.
GABRIELLE: What?
JOHN: I went to confession
Gabrielle turns around and walks over to him.
GABRIELLE: Have you lost your mind? What did you tell him?
She leans over to smell the rose.
JOHN: Everything.
GABRIELLE: Including in the alley? Behind the truck stop?
JOHN: Everything.
GABRIELLE: Damn you!
She storms off.
SCENE: Bongo comes into the bathroom again where Susan is still stuck.
SUSAN: What is wrong with you? Lassie would have had a fire truck here by now! Stupid dog.
Bongo turns and rushes off.
SUSAN: Good boy, Bongo! Run, Bongo, run, go get help!
Bongo returns and drops a dead crow in front of her.
SUSAN: Ooooeeewwwoooohhh...
SCENE: Bree and Andrew are both in the kitchen.
BREE: Andrew, um, I know the last few days have been stressful, and, uh, you know, if you ever need to talk to anybody...
ANDREW: I know, I know. You and Dad are here for me.
BREE: Actually, I was thinking we could arrange for you to talk to a professional.
ANDREW: A shrink? You think I'm crazy?
BREE: Of course not. It’s just that the accident probably stirred up a lot of emotions, and it would be normal for you to be feeling confused or depressed or ashamed...
ANDREW: I'm cool, mom. Really.
BREE: Honey, you put a woman into a coma. Surely that arouses some kind of emotion!
ANDREW: Yeah, well, it doesn't. Now if you'll excuse me...
BREE: No, I won't, not until you tell me.
ANDREW: Why do you care?
BREE: Because I need to know that you're not a monster!
ANDREW: You want to know how I feel?
BREE: Yeah.
ANDREW: Okay, here it goes. I feel bad that she got hurt. But I also feel bad that my car got dinged because somebody didn't have enough sense to look both ways before she crossed the street. And I also feel bad that now I'm gonna have to ride my bike to school.
BREE: Andrew, you almost killed another human being.
ANDREW: She’s an old lady. Okay? She’s lived her life. I have my whole life ahead of me, and now it might be screwed up! That’s what you should be worried about!
BREE: What I'm worried about, Andrew, is that you don't seem to have a soul. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the police!
ANDREW: Because I'm your son. That would make you the monster.
He walks out.
SCENE: Mike opens up the front door and Bongo comes rushing down the stairs to greet him.
MIKE: Hey, buddy!
He goes into the kitchen and sees the remains of the bathroom floor scattered on the kitchen. He looks up and sees Susan's legs dangling from the ceiling.
MIKE: Susan, is that you?
SUSAN: Mike? I'm upstairs. Sorta.
MIKE: Hang on, I'll be right up.
When he gets to the bathroom, he stops, and leans against the door frame.
MIKE: What happened?
SUSAN: Well, you see, this bird, um, flew in your bathroom window, and, I, tried to save it, but, uh, it died.
MIKE: I don't think that’s what happened.
SUSAN: I don't think so, either.
MIKE: Come on...
He lifts her out and puts her to the side.
SUSAN: Thank you, oh, you have no idea what that was like...
Mike looks in the sink and notices the money and gun Susan left there.
MIKE: You went through my cabinets.
SUSAN: What? Oh, I can explain.
MIKE: Get out of my house.
SUSAN: Mike...
MIKE: Get out!
She leaves.
SCENE: Mr. Shaw gets out of his car and goes to the trunk. He opens it. Inside are shovels. He takes out a gun and hides it in the back of his paints, underneath his jacket. Edie pulls up in her car and gets out. Mr. Shaw closes the trunk.
EDIE: Hello there!
MR. SHAW: Good afternoon.
EDIE: Ooh, well isn't this just as pretty as a picture book!
MR. SHAW: Well, the plan is to put in a small condo.
EDIE: You want to make some money, or you want to pussyfoot around?
MR. SHAW: What do you suggest?
EDIE: I'm thinking strip mall. I've run some numbers.
She pulls out a sheet of the purple stationary with numbers written on it and hands it to him.
MR. SHAW: Nice stationary.
EDIE: Oh, it’s stolen.
MR. SHAW: What do you mean?
EDIE: After my house burned down, I was staying with this neighbor, Martha Huber. That is, until the old troll threw me out. Anyway, I'd steal her stuff, she'd steal mine. Circle of life.
MR. SHAW: So this paper is hers
EDIE: Oh, God, yes.
SCENE: Parker plays with the radio, switching stations and turning it louder. The twins bang on pots, The house is a mess, with food and toys everywhere. Lynette comes into the kitchen, talking on the phone.
LYNETTE: No, Tom, you can't do this to me. Because, I need you at home. Boys, stop it, I am on the phone. Well, yeah, I realize it’s not your fault that the meeting got postponed, but you promised you'd be back tonight. I, I, I gotta go. The kids are... Yeah, I know... you're sorry, just, will you try to get back as soon as you can? Okay, bye.
She hangs up the phone.
SCENE: The boys are listening to the radio whilst Lynette does not seem pleased with this at all.
LYNETTE: Boys, would you please, please, stop it. Really, really, mommy’s got a headache. Okay? Just, uh...
RADIO: ...and drowsy and ready to sleep, let the morning time drop all its petals on me... life I love you, all is groovy...
LYNETTE: "Turn that damn thing off.
Lynette starts screaming at the boys as everything happens in slow motion. She throws pans on the floor and throws a can through the window. Facing the window, she sees Mary Alice appear. Mary Alice smiles, looks down at her hands, and then hands Lynette a gun. Slowly, Lynette takes the gun, looks at it, and then holds it up to her own head. She closes her eyes. A loud crash wakes up Lynette, who had been sleeping with her head on the kitchen table. She looks at her boys, who are ignoring her, doing their own thing, and she sighs.
SCENE: Susan rings Mike's doorbell. He answers the door, unfriendly.
MIKE: What?
SUSAN: I just came over to say I'm sorry, and I'll pay for all the damage.
MIKE: don't worry about it.
He starts to close the door.
SUSAN: Well, so, in your mind, is the date off?
MIKE: Well, you snooped around my house, and went through my stuff. Uh, yeah, in my book, that’s pretty much a deal breaker.
Susan opens the screens and enters the house.
SUSAN: Hold on a minute, now. I started snooping around because I found all that money by accident. And, and then, I found a gun. Are you a drug dealer or something?
MIKE: Is that what you think?
SUSAN: Well, I wouldn't know because you never let me in. You know, there’s this whole part of your life that you keep completely walled off.
MIKE: I have a gun for protection, I keep cash for emergencies. I'm a good guy, Susan, and you should know that. I'm, I'm not obligated to share every little detail of my life with you.
SUSAN: Well, every little detail is one thing. You know, weird creepy secrets, that’s another.
MIKE: You know what, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust me.
SUSAN: Well, maybe we shouldn't be dating.
MIKE: Maybe we shouldn't.
SUSAN: Do you mean that?
MIKE: Yeah.
SUSAN: Well, I hope that, your, you know, little secret keeps you warm at night because you're throwing something really great away to protect it!
She walks off and he closes the door. Susan walks angrily back to her house, passing by Lynette's house as she does so. Lynette, with all four children, sees her and calls out.
LYNETTE: Oh, Susan, you gotta take my kids for a while.
SUSAN: Lynette, it’s just, this really isn't the time...
LYNETTE: No, no, I'm sorry, I can't do this. It’s just too much. Boys, you stay with your aunt Susan.
She hands Susan the baby and the boys cheer, then rush back to the front door. Lynette goes to her car, gets in, and drives off.
SUSAN: Lynette! You know, when are you coming back? Lynette! Lynette!
SCENE: Lynette sits against a post, slowly turning a prescription bottle in her hands. Bree and Susan slowly drive up to the field.
BREE: There’s Lynette’s car, she’s gotta be close.
SUSAN: I hope the kids aren't too much for Danielle to handle.
BREE: She'll be fine. What do you think’s happening with Lynette?
SUSAN: I don't know, but I'm scared. Something’s very, very wrong.
Susan stops the car and the two of them get out and walk over to Lynette.
BREE: Lynette? Honey?
SUSAN: Are you okay?
SCENE: Gabrielle sits alone next to Mama Solis's hospital bed. Father Crowley walks in.
GABRIELLE: Father, I'm so glad you could come and pray for mama. Please, sit, sit.
FATHER CROWELY: Thank you, Gabrielle.
GABRIELLE: Listen, since you're here, there’s something I've always wondered about. That whole thing about priests not being allowed to repeat what they hear in confessions, is that a hard rule, or just a general guideline?
FATHER CROWELY: Rest assured, everyone’s secrets are safe.
GABRIELLE: That’s good to hear.
FATHER CROWELY: I'll keep yours, too, if you want to talk.
GABRIELLE: No, me? No, no. Confession is not really my thing.
FATHER CROWELY: That’s a shame.
GABRIELLE: Okay. You can stop condemning me with your eyes. Right now. I know you know, about the affair. But you know nothing about my life. Look, it’s not even an issue anymore. John and I are finished.
FATHER CROWELY: Gabrielle, the church is pretty clear on this. If you commit a mortal sin, and you die without repenting, you go to hell.
GABRIELLE: Well, aren't you just a ball of fun. So, if I confess, it'll clean the slate, right?
FATHER CROWELY: Well not only that. If you want God’s forgiveness, you have to be truly sorry, and you have to promise not to commit the sin again.
GABRIELLE: So what happens if I repent, later, like, say, when I'm 75?
FATHER CROWELY: I wouldn't recommend waiting. What if you die before then?
GABRIELLE: Well, let’s say I don't die. I do yoga, I eat well. If I wait, does my repenting still count?
FATHER CROWELY: If you mean it, yes.
GABRIELLE: Thank you, Father Crowley. You have been a tremendous comfort. Um, I will let you do your thing.
FATHER CROWELY: Gabrielle, you know, we are all responsible for the choices we make. Don't you want to be a good person?
GABRIELLE: What I want is to be happy.
FATHER CROWELY: That’s the answer of a selfish child.
GABRIELLE: I know.
She turns and leaves.
SCENE: Lynette and the gang are talking.
LYNETTE: Then I started taking the pills because they gave me energy, but then I couldn't sleep at night, and I was getting so tired in the daytime. And, it totally messed me up. I love my kids so much. I'm so sorry they have me as a mother.
BREE: Lynette, you're a great mother.
LYNETTE: No, I'm not. I can't do it. I'm so tired of feeling like a failure. It’s so humiliating.
SUSAN: No, it’s not! So you got addicted to your kids' ADD medication. It happens.
BREE: You've got four kids. That’s a lot of stress. Honey, you need some help.
LYNETTE: That’s what’s so humiliating. Other moms don't need help. Other moms make it look so easy. All I do is complain.
SUSAN: That’s just not true. When, when Julie was a baby, I, I was out of my mind almost every day.
BREE: I used to get so upset when Andrew and Danielle were little. I used their nap times to cry.
LYNETTE: Why didn't you ever tell me this?
BREE: Oh, baby. Nobody likes to admit that they can't handle the pressure.
SUSAN: I think it's just that we think that it’s easier to keep it all in.
LYNETTE: Well, we shouldn't. We should tell each other this stuff.
SUSAN: It helps, huh?
LYNETTE: Yeah, it really does.
Susan hugs her and Bree gently brushes the hair away from her face.
SCENE: Mr. Shaw begins to tell Paul his results.
PAUL: So it was Martha Huber all along.
MR. SHAW: Seems so. Edie didn't move in with Huber until after your wife received the
blackmail note.
PAUL: Thank God. We almost killed an innocent woman.
MR. SHAW: Like I said, I don't do refunds, but if you'd like, I'm willing to pay Mrs. Huber a visit.
PAUL: No. Just keep the money. This whole thing's been tearing me up. The nightmares, the guilt. This isn't what Mary Alice would've wanted.
MR. SHAW: What would she have wanted?
PAUL: Answers.
SCENE: Mrs. Huber is removing groceries when Paul shows up. He takes some of her groceries.
PAUL: Hello, Mrs. Huber.
MARTHA: Paul.
PAUL: Let me give you a hand.
MARTHA: That’s really not necessary.
PAUL: I insist.
SCENE: Susan sits quietly in a chair, sipping from a glass of wine. She finishes it and gets up to pour more. She looks out of her window and sees a man looking out of his window at her. It's Mike, and he stands in his house, watching her, then goes over to his couch, where he looks at the pictures he has of her next to the maps of the neighborhood.
SCENE: A small ant crawls over Paul's hand as he watches Mrs. Huber put away her groceries.
PAUL: Ants, huh.
MARTHA: Yeah. I've got a little infestation problem. I wanted to take care of it before I left on my trip.
PAUL: Never had a problem with ants. Mary Alice and I had these little black flies once.
MARTHA: Oh?
PAUL: She was so funny about it. She ran out and bought herself a can of poison
something to spray them down, so she was taking aim at one on the counter, and she just, uh, stops, and puts the can down. couldn't do it. She told me later, it felt too personal. Literally couldn't kill a fly. That’s how gentle she was.
MARTHA: Then you must have lived with quite a few flies. I'm going to have to say good night to you now, Paul.
He puts the note on the counter.
MARTHA: What are you doing here?"
PAUL: I want to know why.
SCENE: Susan takes another sip of wine when somebody knocks on her door. It's Mike.
MIKE: I know you've got a lot of questions. And I also know I don't want to lose you. So ask me anything you want.
SUSAN: You just told me everything I need to know.
She pulls him towards her and starts kissing him. They enter her house. He closes the door with his foot and, still kissing, they stop at her work table. He leans her over it.
SCENE: Martha must explain to Paul her reasons though he does not seem to like them.
MARTHA: All right, my idiot husband died, and left me with a worthless pension. I was desperate for money, and it’s better to take it from a bad person than a good one. How was I supposed to know she'd shoot herself?
PAUL: She was a good person.
MARTHA: A good person who leaves her child motherless? Read the Bible, Paul, suicide’s a big no-no.
PAUL: don't you feel any remorse whatsoever?
MARTHA: Why should I? Your wife didn't kill herself because I wrote a note. She killed herself because of what she did to that poor baby! But rest assured, I'm praying for Mary
Alice. After what she did, she'll need all of our prayers.She heads to the refrigerator, where she removes some ice and some milk. Paul sees the blender on the kitchen counter. He picks it up and as she turns back around, he slams it into her head. She drops to the floor.
SCENE: Still kissing, Mike pushes Susan up against a wall.
SCENE: Paul gets on the floor where Mrs. Huber is and begins strangling her. She tries to push him away, but can't.
SCENE: Still against the wall, kissing, Mike captures Susan's hand against the wall, holding it there. He kisses her neck and then travels lower.
SCENE: Paul continues strangling Mrs. Huber.
SCENE: Susan pulls away from Mike, and then walks backwards, taking his hand and pulling him towards her. He follows.
SCENE: Mrs. Huber has passed and Paul gently folds the rug she's lying on over her body.
SCENE: On Susan's bed, Mike lies on his back. Susan is astride him, still fully clothed. She kisses him as she runs her hands down his body.
SCENE: Bree sits at the dining room table, reading the Bible.
MARY ALICE: There is a widely read book that tells us everyone is a sinner. Of course, not
everyone feels guilt over the bad things they do.
Bree looks up to where Andrew is sitting in the kitchen, playing a hand-held video game.
MARY ALICE: In contrast, there are those who assume more than their share of the blame.
At the hospital, Carlos gently washes his mother with a sponge.
MARY ALICE: There are others, who sooth their consciences with small acts of kindness.
Gabrielle takes a sponge and takes over for Carlos.
MARY ALICE: Or by telling themselves their sins were justified.
Paul scrubs at the blood on the counter.
MARY ALICE: Finally, there are the ones who simply vow to do better next time, and pray for forgiveness.
Lynette lies, sleeping, on her couch.
MARY ALICE: Sometimes, their prayers are answered.
Dreaming, Lynette sits on the grass in a park with her baby. Her boys run by her, playing with each other. She smiles and looks up, seeing Mary Alice step from the trees. They smile at each other.
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