Good morning.Good morning.
Here ye, here ye, 10 minutes to go till Van Dort's wedding rehearsal.
Watch it!
It's a beautiful day.It's a rather nice day.
A day for a glorious wedding.
A rehearsal, my dear.To be perfectly clear.
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding.
Assuming nothing happens.
That we don't really know.That nothing unexpected.
Interferes with the show.And that's why everything.
Every last little thing.Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go.
According to plan,Our son will be married.
According to plan,Our family carried.
Elevated to the heights of society.To the costume balls,
In the hallowed halls.Rubbing elbows with the finest
Having crumpets with Her HighnessWe'll be there, we'll be seen
Having tea with the queenWe'll forget everything
That we've ever, ever been
Blimey! It's my dress is caught.
Begging your pardon, ma'am.
Come on, dear.It's not me. It's my dress is caught.
Where is Victor? We might be late.
Fish merchants.
It's a terrible day
Now, don't be that way
It's a terrible day for a wedding
It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in
That has led to this ominous wedding
How could our family have come to this?
To marry off our daughter
To the nouveau riche
They're so common
So coarse
Oh, it couldn't be worse
Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree
They could be land-rich,
Bankrupt aristocracy
Without a penny to their name
Just like you and me
Oh, dear.
And that's why everything
Every last little thing
Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go
According to plan
Our daughter will wed
According to plan
Our family led
From the depths of deepest poverty
To the noble realm
Of our ancestry
And who would have guessed
In a million years
That our daughter with a face
Of an otter in disgrace
Would provide our ticket
To a rightful place
Oh, Hildegarde.
What if Victor and I don't like each other?
As if that has anything to do with marriage.
Do you suppose your father and I like each other?
Surely you must a little?
Of course not.
Get those corsets laced properly.
I can hear you speak without gasping.
You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor.
Now, all you have to do is reel her in.
I'm already reeling, Mother.
Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something?
Oh, nonsense! We're every bit as good as the Everglots.
I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.
But I've never even spoken to her.
Well, at least we have that in our favor.
Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing.
Marriage is a partnership
a little tit for tat.
You'd think a lifetime watching us...
Might have taught her that
Might have taught her that
Everything must be perfect
Everything must be perfect
Everything must be perfect
Perfect
That's why everything
Every last little thing
Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing
Must go
According to plan
Look at the way you're standing.
You look like you got rickets or something...
Oh, my goodness. Oh, such grandeur!
Such impeccable taste!
Oh, beautiful, innit?
It's not as big as our place, dear.
Bit shabby really, isn't it?
Shut up.
Lord and Lady Everglot...
...Mr. And Mrs. Van Dort.
Why, you must be Miss Victoria.
Yes, I must say, you don't look a day over 20 . No. Oh, yes.
Smile, darling, smile.
Well, hello. What a pleasure.
Welcome to our home.
Thank you.
We'll be taking teain the west drawing room.
Oh, do come this way,it's just through there.
Oh, I love what you've done with the place.
Who is your decorator?
Nice tiles, shame about the drapes.
My husband says such foolish things.
Ignore him.
Yes, it's usually best.
(piano)
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