MIA: please say something.
Clarisse: well, there’s not much to say. A picture is worth a thousand words and you have two pictures.
MIA: I really embarrassed the family, didn’t I?
Clarisse: not to put too fine a point on it, yes, you did. I think you’re making a wise decision to abstain from the job.
MIA: I suppose I won’t come to the ball.
Clarisse: of course you should come. You’re still family. Just because you don’t want to be our princess doesn’t mean we’re sending you into exile. Your mother’s planning to come. All your guests are invited except for your beach friends. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m meeting with the press to do some damage control. You can come in now.
Joe: if I may say so that did not go very well.
Clarisse: is this the way a princess should act?
Joe: my information tells me that boy was using her. The kiss was merely a device so that he could get his 15 minutes of fame. And her friends didn’t help, either.
Clarisse: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why didn’t she have enough common sense to deal with this?
Joe: she is only 15. But today, she acted beyond her years. She showed great respect and gracefully accepted your criticism.
Clarisse: you are saying that as a queen, I was too harsh on her. I was critical of the person who could become the next ruler of my country.
Joe: no. I’m saying as a grandmother you might have been too harsh on your granddaughter.
Clarisse: do you think she can do it?
Joe: oh, I have no doubts, ma’am.
Clarisse: I thought so, too.
MIA: Lilly, can I talk to you for a minute, please? Lilly, can I just talk to you for a minute? Is that cool?
Lilly: sure. Let’s talk. But about what? About how you broke my brother’s heart or how you stuck me with Jeremiah during my cable show doing “Pick a card, pick a card.”
MIA: I’m sorry, ok? I forgot to call you and tell you that I couldn’t make it.
Lilly: so I was stuck with the Happy Houdini while you maybe out with the Yachting Yahoo.
MIA: those are really good alliterations.
Lilly: no! I don’t want to talk about alliterations!
MIA: Lilly, I came up here to tell you that I’m sorry! Ok? I’m sorry I missed your cable show and I’m just really sorry.
Lilly: I can’t believe that you hung me up after all I did for you. I kept your royal secret. And do you know how hard it is to have a cable show and keep a secret?
MIA: you didn’t keep it a secret from me how jerky you thought my being a princess was. Well, congratulations. You got your wish. I’m not gonna be a princess.
Lilly: you’re not.
MIA: no.
Lilly: but I want you to be.
MIA: what?
Lilly: I didn’t mean it. The green monster of jealousy came out because you were Miss Popular and I thought I was losing my best friend so I got angry and upset and hurt. And I told you! I need an attitude adjustment. But the truth is you being a princess is kind of a miracle.
MIA: what? No! Miracle! It’s a nightmare.
Lilly: no! Think about it! I just found out that my cable show only reaches 12 people. Wanting to rock the world but having zip power like me. Now, that is a nightmare. But you—wow.
MIA: ok, what is so wow?
Lilly: wow is having the power to affect change make people listen. How many teenagers have that power? What more of a miracle do you want?
MIA: well, we’ll just have to find a different miracle. Not more, just different. Listen, tomorrow night is the Genovian Independence Day ball and to make up for my missing your cable show. I’m inviting you. I hope you’ll forgive me and I hope you come.
Lilly: but what will I wear?
MIA: I don’t know, but it doesn’t really mater. I’m just happy that you’re gonna come!
Lilly: thanks. And you can be a princess.
MIA: no, I can’t.
Lilly: yes, you can.
MIA: it’s open, come on in. Michael, hey, how are you?
Michael: little guy on your…
MIA: oh! Did Lilly tell you that I called?
Michael: I brought your car.
MIA: thank you. Seven times I called.
Michael: Doc said that he fixed what he could and if you have any problems, give him a call.
MIA: ok, do you want the check now? Cause I have the last payment.
Michael: yeah, thank you.
MIA: are you hungry or thirsty? Look, thank you of much for doing this for me. It’s really, really great of you.
Michael: I didn’t do it for you. Doc lets the band practice. I help with the cars.
MIA: oh, here.
Michael: thanks.
MIA: I know you’re still mad at me for blowing you off and I’m really sorry I did. But I am going to try to make it up to you.
Michael: how?
MIA: well, I’m still going to the Genovia’s Independent Day ball and I’m inviting you. It could be fun, you know. I’m wearing this great dress that I can’t breathe in and Lilly’s got a date.
Michael: Josh looks better in a tux.
MIA: but, see, I really want you to be the one I share it with. You don’t have to wear a tux. You can wear sweatpants for all I care.
Michael: don’t worry about me. I just consider myself royally flushed.
Lilly: stop the bovine massacre! Sign up now and save a cow! Vegetarians have right to eat special. Make Grove School more tofu-friendly.
MIA: hello.
Lilly: hi, go sit by Jeremiah. Be there in a minute.
Lana: she’s wearing that dorky hat again.
Jeremiah: hey, you want to see a trick?
MIA: no. not right now. What are you doing? Writing a story?
Jeremiah: oh, well, my portfolio’s increased by 30% since the last quarter.
Lana: Look we have. The perfect nerd couple Jeremiah and Mia. Listen, Jere. My friends and I were wondering the sweater you’re wearing was it designed for you or did the knitting machine just blow up? It’s Jeremiah hair glare. Is one of your magic tricks your hair?
MIA: hey, Lana? That is such a cute cheerleading outfit. It’s so clean-cut. I bet it goes with anything.
Lana: of course it does! Ah! Mia, you’re such a freak!
MIA: yeah, I am. But you know what? You know, someday I might grow out of that but you will never stop being a jerk.
Man: Lana got coned!
Lana: Mia!
MIA: toddles.
Lana: Mrs. Gupta, did you see what she did to me?
Mrs. Gupta: oh, no, honey, I’m sorry. I was in a very important meeting. Wend it out for dry cleaning.
Clarisse: it’s a present for your sixteenth birthday from your father. It was found among his possessions.
MIA: my birthday’s not for two weeks.
Clarisse: I know. But I wanted you to have it before we leave. I return to Genovia the day after tomorrow.
MIA: thank you. It is locked.
Clarisse: if you open the locket I gave you it becomes the key.
MIA: thank you for bringing it down here.
Clarisse: I also came to apologize for the way I spoke to you about the beach incident. It was judgmental of me. I didn’t pause to verify the facts.
MIA: that’s all right, Grandma.
Clarisse: I’ve been thinking about it a great deal and the truth is I think you’d make a very fine princess. You know, people think princess are supposed to wear tiaras marry the prince, always look pretty and live happily ever after. But it’s so much more than that. It is a real job.
MIA: you are an extraordinary person, grandma. But I don’t think I meant to do this. I would be so afraid of that I would disappoint the people of Genovia and I couldn’t bear to disappoint you again.
Clarisse: well, as I said, I have faith in you.
Mr. Robinson: I’m a writer, I write soaps—soap opera. Did you ever see “Middle House Road”?
Joe: no.
Mr. Robinson: It is a big hit. I wrote a character just like you once. He was a spy.
Joe: I’m not a spy.
Mr. Robinson: that’s what the character said.
MIA: I’ll see you tonight, then.
Clarisse: I do have one favor to ask. I need you to formally renounce your title for the press at the ball, you know?
MIA: make a speech? Do you think that maybe considering my history with the press it would be better if you did it?
Clarisse: Amelia, you wouldn’t stop driving your Mustang just because a couple of insects hit the windshield? Besides, look how far you’ve come and I’ll be right there with you. I’ll have Joseph pick you up at 7:00.
MIA: no, um, I promised I’d let my mom drive me. You know she wants to drive me to my first ball or something.
Clarisse: all right. I’ll see you there, then.
MIA: grandma! I am sorry.
Clarisse: oh, my dear, you are first and foremost my granddaughter. Please don’t be late.
MIA: thank you, dad, but I can’t be a princess. I don’t make speeches and I’m not Clarisse Renaldi and I just can’t do it, ok? I’m scared.
Charlotte: should you be going to get Princess Mia?
Joe: Mia told Clarisse her mother would be bringing her.
Charlotte: Helen just arrived and said Mia was waiting for you.
Joe: she’s going to run.
MIA: come on, fat lily, time to pack. Let’s get your things. Louis, what have you got there? Come on, Louis, we’re going on a trip. We’re going to Colorado where we can climb some real rocks. We are so out of here, Louie.
Dad: my dearest daughter today is your 16th birthday. Congratulations. I present you with this diary to fill the pages with your special thoughts of your wonderful life. It is a custom in my family to pass on a wisdom one reach at his age .I pass it on to you as my father passed it on to me. Amelia, courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. From now on. You’ll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey. I also want you to know I loved your mother very much and still think of her often. Happy birthday, my Mia. All my love, you father.
NELSON: and there’s Countess Puck of Austria as the glamorous continue to arrive at the Genovian Independence Ball. Despite of the threat of the big turnout includes the mayor of the San Francisco and a Genovian pear juggler. The future of Genovia is in the hands of young Mia Thermopolis. Her decision tonight will affect the queen, the court and all the people of this small but proud country.
MIA: the trip is off, Louie.
Genovian are famous for their impeccable taste in art. Also for their cheese. Maybe it is string cheese.
Man: here you go! It’s already paid for.
Michael: I didn’t order a pizza.
Clarisse: do we have any news on the Von Token matter?
Man: it’ll be decided tonight, ma’am.
Clarisse: I’m afraid so.
Charlotte: there’s no answer at Princess Mia’s house and I couldn’t get Joseph on the cell phone. There’s too much static from the storm. The press is starting to complain about making their deadlines.
Clarisse: if she’s not here in 10 minutes, I’ll make the announcement.
MIA: is this punishment for driving without a licensed driver in the front seat?!
Charlotte: the press was wondering if it would be possible
Clarisse: no, no interviews until later in the evening. I would like to announce that my granddaughter has arrived with a fascinating explanation as to her wardrobe, I’m sure. Mia, would you care to say a few words?
MIA: um, yes. Thank you, your Majesty. Hello, I’m Mia. It stopped raining. I’m really no good at speechmaking. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn’t need to know that. But I’m not so afraid anymore. My father helped me. Earlier this evening, I had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne and my mother helped me by telling me that it was ok and by supporting me like she has for my entire life. But then I wondered how I’d feel after abdicating my role as princess of Genovia. Would I feel relieved or would I feel sad? And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word” I”. In fact, probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there are 7 billion other people on the planet…ooh, sorry. I’m going too fast. But then I thought if I cared about the other 7 billion out there instead of just me. That’s probably a much better use of my time. See, if I were princess of Genovia then my thoughts and the thoughts of people smarter than me would be much better heard and just maybe those thoughts could be turned into actions. So this morning when I woke up I was Mia Thermopolis. But now I choose to be forevermore Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi princess of Genovia.
Clarisse: this was my very first tiara. I was rather fond of it. I’m hoping you will be, too.
MIA: oh, grandma, but you had it already. How did you know I’d even be here?
Clarisse: because I recognize the same spirit in you as someone else I know.
MIA: who?
Clarisse: me.
Paolo: you bet your life, you big, tall string bean. Here. Paolo have to save the day.
Clarisse: I think perhaps we’d better get you dried off now.
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