TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN
STORY BY: LAWRENCE 0’DONNELL & PATRICK CADDELL
DIRECTED BY: MICHAEL LEHMANN
TEASER
FADE IN: INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT
MONDAY NIGHT
Bartlet is speaking at a dinner. He stands behind the podium while important people
in fancy clothes listen to him. Hanging behind him is a banner that says “Practical
Idealism”.
BARTLET
One night he went in and set the briefcase down and said, “Bess, why do you suppose
it is that only sons-of-bitches know how to lick a stamp?” [laughter and applause]
The point is, friends, you’ve got to write the letter, you’ve got to send a fax,
you’ve got to pick up the phone and call Western Union. You’ve got to contact your
Congressional representative...
Backstage, Leo is watching the speech as his phone rings. He answers it, while
Bartlet continues in the background.
BARTLET
You’ve got to say “Mister, I’ve got a friend who’s neighbor is dead...
LEO
McGarry here.
BARTLET
“...Madam, I’ve got a neighbor whose friend is dead, whose husband is dead, whose
mother is dead, kids are dead! Kids are dead!
LEO
What are you talking about?
BARTLET
“...and I wanna know, mister. I wanna know, madam...
.LEO
How did it happen?
BARTLET
...how you intend to vote on Wednesday, so that I’ll know how to vote next election...”
LEO
Well how did the wheels come off this thing?
BARTLET
You gotta ask ‘em. You gotta ask ‘em! [Applause. Josh joins Leo backstage.]
LEO
We lost five votes.
JOSH
What?
LEO
We lost five votes.
JOSH
Give me names.
LEO
I don’t got them yet. Get on the phone.
JOSH
[groans]Oh, man!
JOSH gets on the phone. Somewhere backstage, Toby is watching the Bartlet on a
T.V. screen.
BARTLET
You know, I had a civil procedure professor who said once...
TOBY
Take a beat. [pause] There you go.
BARTLET
He said, “When the law is on your side, argue the law; and when the facts are on
your side, argue the facts...
Leo and Josh are both talking on their phones, with Bartlet on T.V. screens in the
background.
LEO
But it’s not in cement.
BARTLET
...When you don’t have the law on your side, when you don’t have the facts on your
side, bang your fist on the defense table as loud as you can.” Well, we’ve got the
law on our side now, and we’ve got the facts on our side now...
JOSH
Yeah, this is Josh Lyman. Please call me. I need to know what happened.
BARTLET
...bang our fist on the defense table, but we’re not listening any more. We’re not
having that any more. We’re gonna win on Wednesday. We’re gonna win on Wednesday!
Thank you all. [The crowd stands up and applauds.] God bless you, and God bless America!
Bartlet works his way out of the room while “Happy Days Are Here Again” plays. The
staff follows as they all walk through the back hallways. Sam shakes Bartlet's hand.
SAM
Fantastic.
BARTLET
Thank you.
Bartlet continues down the hall with his Secret Service AGENTS. Sam joins Toby as they
continue to follow the President.
SAM
Good job.
TOBY
[unenthusiastic] Yeah.
SAM
You didn’t like it.
TOBY
I thought it was fine.
SAM
I thought it was a hell of a lot better than fine.
TOBY
[still unenthusiastic] It was good.
SAM
It was outstanding!
TOBY
He blew the D section.
SAM
Toby, they’re still on their feet cheering.
TOBY
Yeah, I said it was fine.
C.J.
[walks up] Sam, nice going.
SAM
Thank you. Tell him. [indicates Toby]
C.J.
Why?
SAM
Well-
TOBY
Because Sam wrote two and a half paragraphs and I wrote thirty-seven pages.
C.J.
Still...
TOBY
He blew the D section.
C.J.
I thought it was inspired.
TOBY
Why do you keep saying stuff like that to me?
C.J.
[laughing] Just to watch your face turn that color. [They all go down the stairs.]
JOSH
[from behind] C.J.!
C.J.
[drops back] Hey, your little fan club was out in full force tonight.
JOSH
Well, they like me in my tux.
C.J.
Do you think I have an unusually large neck?
JOSH
What the hell?
C.J.
I’m just asking, ‘cause one of the...
JOSH
Stop talking.
C.J.
What’s up?
JOSH
I want you to look calm while I’m telling you this.
C.J.
Telling me what?
JOSH
We lost five.
C.J.
What do you mean?
JOSH
802. Five votes jumped the fence.
C.J.
[going buggy eyed] Are you kidding me?
JOSH
Nice job looking calm.
C.J.
Are you kidding me?
JOSH
Leo just got off the phone with the whip. Last nose count, we’re five votes down.
C.J.
What the hell happened?
JOSH
We don’t know.
C.J.
Give me names.
JOSH
We’re finding out.
LEO
[from behind] Josh.
JOSH
Yeah?
SAM
[walks ahead to Mandy] Hi there.
MANDY
Hi.
SAM
“Happy Days Are Here Again”?
MANDY
He likes it.
SAM
Who?
MANDY
The President.
SAM
We try and avoid having the President make aesthetic decisions.
MANDY
I made the decision.
SAM
Right. And I don’t mean to step on your toes, but you might want to rethink marrying
the lines “Kids are dead. Kids are dead!” and “Happy Days Are Here Again.”
MANDY
It’s optimistic.
SAM
I’ll say.
Bartlet is shaking hands with someone, and then joins the group.
They go down the stairs again.
BARTLET
Thank you. Good night. [to Toby, in front of him] Toby!
TOBY
Sir.
BARTLET
What’d you think?
TOBY
I thought my work was outstanding, Mr. President.
BARTLET
I thought you would.
TOBY
Thanks for asking. [pause] Couldn’t help but notice you got a little extemporaneous
there in the D section.
BARTLET
Oh, you noticed that, did you?
TOBY
Yes sir, I did.
BARTLET
Yes. I did a little polish right up there on my feet.
TOBY
Yes indeed.
BARTLET
Right in front of everybody. I looked to the side at one point, you know. I half
expected to see you coming at me with a salad fork.
TOBY
Well, but for the secret service agents restraining me, sir.
BARTLET
Yup. Thank God for the secret service.
TOBY
Bless their hearts...
BARTLET
[sees a couple getting friendly in the hall] Hey there, fella. She deserves a nice
room and some supper.
TOBY
You like doing that, don’t you sir?
BARTLET
[smiles] Yeah. [Toby laughs.] Hey, Charlie!
CHARLIE
[comes forward] Yes, sir?
BARTLET
What’d you think of the speech?
CHARLIE
Me?
BARTLET
Yes, you.
CHARLIE
Uh, I thought it was-
TOBY
He means the text of the speech, Charlie, discounting the little improv in the
D section.
BARTLET
I mean the entire speech, Charlie, and in particular the delivery.
CHARLIE
I thought it was excellent.
BARTLET and TOBY
See!
Toby laughs again.
BARTLET
See, I think what Charlie’s trying to say is that in this case the singer
outdistanced the song.
TOBY
Really. Well, what I heard Charlie say was that the text was user-proof, although
you did your level best to disprove that in the D section.
BARTLET
You know what, Toby?
TOBY
Sir.
BARTLET
You’re what my mother calls a pain in the ass.
TOBY
Well, that’s what my mother calls it too, sir.
CHARLIE
Oh, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Yes, Charlie. By the way, did the First Lady call?
CHARLIE
The First Lady called at eight forty, sir. She wished you luck and told me to tell
you to take your back medicine.
BARTLET
My back is fine.
CHARLIE
I have it here, sir.
BARTLET
Those damn things make me goofy.
CHARLIE
Mrs. Bartlet seemed quite adamant. I’d describe her tone as being...
BARTLET
You don’t have to describe her tone to me, Charlie. I’ve been married to it for
32 years.
The whole group comes out of building where a crowd is waiting for them. They head
for their cars. Secret Service Agents are everywhere.
CHARLIE
Sir, I don’t want to get in trouble with the First Lady...
BARTLET
Give me the medicine, Charlie. [takes the medicine and sticks it in his pocket]
Thank you. Have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.
CHARLIE
Yes sir.
BARTLET
[to the crowd] Thank you all.
Bartlet waves to the crowd and gets into his limousine, as Josh and C.J. walk by
towards another car.
GIRLS IN THE CROWD
We love you, Josh!
JOSH
Thanks!
C.J.
[to girls] It helps not to know him!
SECRET SERVICE AGENT
[into radio while tapping the car] Here we go. Move it out.
The car engines start.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT
Sam, Toby, Mandy, and C.J. are sitting around a table, still in their fancy clothes,
eating Chinese food. Leo and Josh are both on the phone.
C.J.
Leo, your food’s getting cold. Want me to bring it over?
Leo shakes his head and continues talking on the phone.
MANDY
Seriously, I have never had dumplings quite this good.
JOSH
[plaintively] Isn’t my food getting cold too?
C.J.
We ate your food.
MANDY
C.J., you have got to try this.
C.J.
Oh thanks. Try some of this.
TOBY
[under his breath] Here it comes.
C.J.
Yum! Oh, Sam, you gotta try the General Chow’s chicken.
MANDY
And the Kung Pow chicken.
C.J.
With the sauce. [offers the food. Sam takes a taste.]
MANDY
Oh, you gotta have it with the sauce.
SAM
[with mouth full] That’s delicious!
C.J.
You didn’t try it with the sauce.
TOBY
Will the two of you... shut up?
MANDY
[to Toby] Wanna try the spicy crispy beef?
TOBY
I’m really very happy with the food that I’ve got.
Leo gets off the phone and walks over to the table. He starts dishing up.
C.J.
Botrell?
LEO
It’s not Botrell. I’ve only got two, but Botrell isn’t one of them. Katzenmoyer
and Wick.
MANDY
I could’ve called that.
LEO
Sam, slide me a soda please.
Sam slides a soda to Leo. Josh hangs up his phone and walks over to the table.
He has ditched his jacket and untied his bow tie.
JOSH
Everyone’s someplace else. All I got was O’Bannon.
LEO
I didn’t get O’Bannon. That’s three.
JOSH
Who’d you get?
SAM
Katzenmoyer and Christopher Wick.
JOSH
Chris Wick?
LEO
Yeah.
JOSH
It’s got to be a mistake. Who told you that?
LEO
Lee Tamaki and the minority whip.
JOSH
They’ve got bad information. There is no way Chris Wick jumped the fence.
LEO
The President just told a ballroom full of people and anyone who reads a newspaper
that we’re gonna pass 802 on Wednesday. We’ve got a 72 hour fight.
TOBY
How do we do that without making noise?
MANDY
What do we care about noise?
LEO
There’s two things in the world you never want to let people see how you make ‘em:
laws and sausages.
MANDY
Got it. First of all, obviously don’t involve the President.
LEO
Absolutely. This is us. [pause] C.J., what’s the press room going to be talking
about in the next few days?
C.J.
Financial disclosures.
TOBY
That time again?
C.J.
It’s that time again.
JOSH
What are you worth there, Toby?
TOBY
[dryly] Well, I own this tuxedo, and I’ve got twenty-three bucks in my pocket.
MANDY
[giggles] That’s good.
LEO
Financial disclosure it is.
MANDY
No, I mean, that’s good.
JOSH
She’s right.
MANDY
C.J. feed them human interest, not just, “Look, we’re disclosing assets.” People
will really get a kick out of reading about how much money you guys have, especially
when they find out you don’t have any.
TOBY
It’s a pretty humiliating way of taking one for the team, isn’t it?
MANDY
They’re going to love you for being broke, Toby.
TOBY
I found that. I found that women especially can’t get enough of my 1993 Dodge Dart.
LEO
How do we get the votes?
SAM
Well, setting aside Christopher Wick, and I agree with Josh. Someone’s getting that
wrong. Katzenmoyer and O’Bannon I buy. I’m going to guess the other two are
Tillinghouse and LeBrandt. That’s what we’re going to hear tomorrow. Now the two of
them are going to vote together on this, so we’re really only going to need to get
to one, and whether it’s Tillinghouse or LeBrandt, and it should be Tillinghouse,
we’re gonna need help.
JOSH
Yeah.
LEO
Who?
SAM
You’re not going to like it.
LEO
Who?
SAM
The Vice President.
LEO
No way.
JOSH
Leo...
LEO
No way.
JOSH
Tillinghouse and the Vice...
LEO
I’m not using Hoynes.
MANDY
Actually, Leo, I have to agree...
LEO
[looks at his watch] What time do you have? My watch says two o’clock?
SAM
[looks at his watch] It’s two o’clock.
LEO
Did someone pay for this?
MANDY
I got it.
LEO
Make sure you turn in a receipt. I gotta go home. [as he leaves] Toby, Sam,
beautiful work.
SAM
Thank you.
TOBY
[points at Sam with chopsticks] Two and a half paragraphs. [points at himself]
Thirty-seven pages.
CUT TO: EXT. LEO’S HOUSE - LATE NIGHT
Leo’s car pulls up to his house.
CUT TO: INT. LEO’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Leo walks in and puts down a paper on a table. His wife, JENNY walks halfway down
the stairs in her nightgown.
JENNY
Where’ve you been?
LEO
What do you mean?
JENNY
The event was over at 10:30. I thought you were gonna come straight home.
LEO
I’m really sorry, Jenny.
JENNY
What happened?
LEO
We’re five votes short on 802.
JENNY
[exasperated] And what could you possibly do about that at two o’clock in the
morning that you can’t do during normal business hours?
LEO
I can do things, Jenny. I wake people up. I meet with key staff. It’s a long...
JENNY
Leo... [pause] Come to bed.
LEO
Yeah, I’ll be right up. [sees a box on the table, picks it up and looks at it]
What’s this?
JENNY
It’s a wristwatch.
LEO
For me?
JENNY
Yes.
LEO
From you?
JENNY
Yeah.
LEO
For what?
JENNY
[sighs] Our anniversary.
LEO looks terrible.
JENNY [cont.]
Come to bed.
FADE TO: INT. TOBY’S OFFICE - DAY
TUESDAY MORNING
Toby is sitting in his office talking with a woman named LEELA from the White House
Counsel’s office.
LEELA
Unusual, don’t you think?
TOBY
I honestly couldn’t say.
LEELA
I’m saying, only owning one stock issue.
TOBY
Yes.
LEELA
It’s pretty unusual.
TOBY
And I’m saying I really couldn’t say. I have no background or education in the
stock market. I’m a speechwriter.
LEELA
You’re the communications director, Toby. You can’t tell me you have no...
TOBY
I can tell you, Leela. Ask the Treasury Secretary. Ask the Chairman of the Federal
Reserve. I’m a total novice at this.
LEELA
Toby...
TOBY
I have never owned a share of stock until last year.
LEELA
What made you buy the stock?
TOBY
I use the website. I like the company.
LEELA
Five thousand dollars worth?
TOBY
That’s right.
LEELA
And now the stock is worth one hundred and twenty-five thousand?
TOBY
Leela, I’m as surprised as anybody. I didn’t know until the accountant called your
office.
LEELA
Did you know that seventy-one percent of the increase happened the day after Cal
Poly professor Theodore McGregor testified to the Commerce Committee on the future
of Internet stocks?
TOBY
Of course I didn’t. I’m telling you that I’ve never paid any attention...
Someone knocks at the door.
TOBY
Yes?
Carol, pokes her head in Toby’s door.
CAROL
Excuse me, Toby.
TOBY
Yeah.
CAROL
Sam says they’ve got all five.
TOBY
Tillinghouse?
CAROL
Yeah
TOBY
Thank you.
Carol leaves while Toby writes something on a pad.
LEELA
White House Counsel’s office is going to want to investigate.
TOBY
Leela, I’ve got forty-eight hours to a crucial floor vote. Is there any way that...?
LEELA
Toby, you’re the one who arranged for McGregor to testify in front of Commerce in
the first place.
TOBY
I grew up on the same block as Ted McGregor. He’s very well respected-
LEELA
No, I understand. But market analysts widely attribute the jump in technology stocks
to the testimonies of, among others, your boyhood friend. [incredulously]
Are you telling me you didn’t know what he was going to say to the committee?
TOBY
I’m telling you that not only didn’t I know what he was going to say to the
committee, not only didn’t I care what he was going to say to the committee, but
if he had sat in my office while I typed up his testimony for him. [yells]
I wouldn’t have understood what he was going to say to the committee!
LEELA
Toby.
TOBY
What!
LEELA
Friend to friend.
TOBY
[calms down] Yeah.
LEELA
You know that manipulating the stock market, or trying to or conspiring to
manipulate the market in any way...is a federal crime, right?
TOBY
Are you saying I should be talking to a lawyer?
LEELA
Toby, I’m saying you’re talking to one right now.
TOBY looks worried.
CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY
Josh and Sam are leaving the Oval Office. They pass Mrs. Landingham.
JOSH
So what’s the range of what we’re talking about?
MRS. LANDINGHAM
Congratulations, Josh.
JOSH
Thanks, Mrs. Landingham.
SAM
What’s she congratulating you on?
JOSH
I don’t know.
They walk out to the HALLWAY.
SAM
What’s the range?
JOSH
Yes.
SAM
Votes are expensive. O’Bannon’s going to want the farm subsidies revisited,
Katzenmoyer’s gonna go back to the federal tax exempt metro link. We’re talking
about unions, defense contracts, possibly agency appointments and my point is
that the clock’s running, and we’re no closer to answering the question.
JOSH
Which question?
SAM
How we get five votes without giving away everything in the store.
A woman passes by.
WOMAN
Congratulations, Josh.
JOSH
Thanks.
SAM
What the hell’s going on...?
JOSH
We do it by giving away nothing in the store.
SAM
We can’t...
JOSH
I say nothing.
SAM
What’re you saying?
JOSH
L.B.J. never would’ve taken this kind of crap from Democrats in Congress. He’d have
said, “You’re voting my way, in exchange for which, it is possible that I might
remember your name.” [stops walking] Pal, we need to win. And I mean win. We need
to take a curtain call and a victory lap. And that’s how we get momentum. We get it
by being tough. We give away nothing. That’s what I’m taking to Leo.
SAM
And Chris Wick?
JOSH
Chris Wick, I own his ass.
They walk into JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA to cheering and shouts of “Congratulations”.
Donna walks up.
JOSH
I sense I’m being mocked.
DONNA
Congratulations, Josh.
JOSH
What did I do?
DONNA
You won our award for best gift valued over twenty-five dollars on the financial
disclosure report.
JOSH
Really?
DONNA
Yeah.
JOSH
What won it for me?
DONNA
The 1189 dollar Viennatelli silk smoking jacket from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
JOSH
Ah, yes.
DONNA
You’re also the runner up, by the way, with the 345 dollar antique scrimshaw
cigarette holder, also from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
JOSH
Well, Sarah was very fond of me.
DONNA
I’d imagine with that smoking jacket and the cigarette holder, you were quite the dandy.
JOSH
All right, this was fun, but Sam and I are busy making critical decisions, and I’m
sure you have a lot of typing to do. So I’ll talk to you later.
DONNA
Bye. [walks off]
Sam and Josh keep going, right past Josh’s office.
JOSH
I’ll take care of Chris Wick.
SAM
Where are you going?
JOSH
[stops and looks at Sam] Where are you going?
SAM
I was following you.
JOSH
I was following you. [pause] All right, don’t tell anyone this happened, okay?
Josh heads back towards his office as Toby comes around the corner.
TOBY
Sam! I’ve got a problem. I need to talk to you for a few minutes.
SAM
Sure. [heads off with Toby]
Leo and Margaret, come in from the entrance.
LEO
It can be Dom. It can be Kristal. She likes them both.
MARGARET
Which do you like?
LEO
I don’t drink champagne. The important thing is that it be in a high hat.
MARGARET
What’s that?
LEO
It’s the silver bucket that rests on a tripod. In fact, the whole meal should be
under sterling silver.
MARGARET
They’ll know what that means?
LEO
Yeah.
MARGARET
How about music?
LEO
I’ll put on a record.
MARGARET
You don’t want a violinist?
LEO
To play the violin?
MARGARET
Yeah.
LEO
Is that what people get now?
MARGARET
I know it’s available.
LEO’S OFFICE. Margaret follows Leo inside.
LEO
No. ‘Cause after the initial thing wears off there’s just a guy with a violin in my
house.
MARGARET
Right.
LEO
Harry Winston’s sending down the choker.
MARGARET
It’ll be here this afternoon.
LEO
It’s the right size.
MARGARET
We can only hope.
LEO
My wife’s got a great neck.
MARGARET
This will certainly call attention to it.
LEO
Would you stop?
MARGARET
You spend too much money.
LEO
And you can squeeze the life out of a nickel better than any ten people I know.
MARGARET
Well, excuse me for not having made forty thousand a pop on the lecture circuit.
LEO
Stop reading the disclosure reports! They’re none of your business.
MARGARET
They’re going to be printed in the newspapers in two days.
JOSH
[knocks and comes in] Leo?
LEO
Josh, do women like violinists?
JOSH
You thinking about taking lessons?
LEO
No, I mean to listen to next to the table.
JOSH
Gets a little weird after a minute, doesn’t it?
LEO
That’s what I thought.
JOSH
Is it Jenny’s birthday?
LEO
[quietly] I forgot our anniversary.
JOSH
In that case I’d shift into gear and bring on the Julliard String Quartet.
LEO
[to Margaret] Call the guy.
MARGARET
Perhaps Mrs. McGarry would enjoy you in a nice smoking jacket. [looks pointedly at Josh]
JOSH
Leave.
LEO
Call the guy.
Margaret leaves.
JOSH
I’m going to see Katzenmoyer.
LEO
When?
JOSH
Right now.
LEO
What’re you gonna give him?
JOSH
Nothing more than a wake up call. I want your permission to kick his ass.
LEO
You want to dangle his job in front of him?
JOSH
Yeah.
LEO
No.
JOSH
I wanna let him hear the branch creak.
LEO
We do that. It doesn’t work. We can’t do it again.
JOSH
If it doesn’t work, I back off. If it doesn’t work, we give Katzenmoyer a metro link
and we let O’Bannon order off the menu. If it does work, I think we get the other
four votes no problem when word gets out we’re not screwing around.
LEO
[gives in] I should sell tickets to this meeting.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: EXT. CAPITOL BUILDING - DAY
Josh and CONGRESSMAN KATZENMOYER are strolling along in front of the Capitol Building.
KATZENMOYER
You gotta understand the people in my district, Josh.
JOSH
Your constituents like the Tech 9 and the Rutger Mini 14, do they? They go quail
hunting with an Uzi?
KATZENMOYER
I won with fifty-two percent of the vote. From the moment I’m sworn in I need to
raise ten thousand dollars a week just to run a reelection campaign.
JOSH
And you’re not doing so well.
KATZENMOYER
Averaging sixty-five hundred. That’s money I can just squeak by with. The NRA makes
me a target in the next election. I lose, plain and simple. Ask me two years from
now. I’ll be there for you.
JOSH
Fifty-five thousand more people will be shot and killed with guns two years from now,
but that’s very much beside the point.
KATZENMOYER
What is your point?
JOSH
Forgive my bluntness, and I say this with all due respect, Congressman, but vote yes,
or you’re not even going to be on the ballot two years from now.
KATZENMOYER
How do you figure?
JOSH
You’re going to lose in the primary.
KATZENMOYER
There’s no Democrat running against me.
JOSH
Sure there is.
KATZENMOYER
Who?
JOSH
Whomever we pick.
KATZENMOYER
You’re bluffing.
JOSH
[shrugs] Okay. [starts to walk away. Katzenmoyer looks worried.]
KATZENMOYER
I’m in your own party!
JOSH
Doesn’t seem to be doing us much good now, does it?
KATZENMOYER
It’s an incumbent Democrat. You’ll go to the press and endorse a challenger?
JOSH
No sir. We’re going to do it in person. See, you won with fifty-two percent, but the
President took your district with fifty-nine. And I think it’s high time we come back
and say thanks. Do you have any idea how much noise Air Force One makes when it lands
in Eau Claire, Wisconsin? We’re going to have a party, Congressman. You should come,
it’s gonna be great. And when the watermelon’s done, right in town square, right in
the band gazebo... You guys got a band gazebo?
KATZENMOYER
Josh...
JOSH
Doesn’t matter, we’ll build one. Right in the band gazebo, that’s where the President
is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. And you
should have your camera with you. You should get a picture of that. ‘Cause that’s
gonna be the moment you’re finished in Democratic politics. President Bartlet’s a
good man. He’s got a good heart. He doesn’t hold a grudge. [puts on sunglasses]
That’s what he pays me for. [walks away]
CUT TO: INT. TOBY’S OFFICE - DAY
Sam and Toby are in the office talking. Toby is sitting on the couch. Sam is
standing in front of him.
SAM
125,000 dollars?
TOBY
Could you stop saying that!?
SAM
Sure.
TOBY
How much trouble am I in?
SAM
Well, there’s two kinds of trouble here: actual trouble and PR trouble.
TOBY
Talk about actual trouble.
SAM
You’re in no actual trouble.
TOBY
Really?
SAM
Absolutely not.
TOBY
Good.
SAM
But I’d hire a lawyer anyway.
TOBY
Why?
SAM
Because technically you’ve committed a felony punishable by imprisonment and fines
reaching into the millions.
TOBY
[gets up to pace] All right, let’s move away from actual trouble for a second and
let’s talk about...
SAM
Perception.
TOBY
Yes.
SAM
We’ve done nothing wrong, yet the perception of those who would choose to glance
only at a snapshot would be embarrassing.
TOBY
Say nothing of damaging to the President.
SAM
[brightly] Indeed.
TOBY
Why are you talking like this?
SAM
Because I can’t help but be reminded of a bright and energetic young White House
deputy who took no end of admonition and grief because of a woman he was friends with.
TOBY
I totally backed you up on that!
SAM
Which is why I couldn’t be happier to help you. It’s like being able to do something
for my older brother. I’m your guy on this. What’s your level of confidence?
TOBY
[glumly] Absolutely none.
SAM
Who else knows about this?
TOBY
Anyone who saw the report.
SAM
Everybody has the report, but you really have to study it to have...
C.J.
[comes to the open door] Excuse me, Toby. I was heading out for lunch and I’m a
little short. You wouldn’t happen to have 125,000 dollars I could borrow, would you?
[dissolves into laughter as she walks away]
SAM
I got your back on this, buddy.
TOBY
I am so... completely screwed.
CUT TO: INT. BRIEFING ROOM - MORNING
C.J. is standing at the podium addressing a small number of reporters.
C.J.
145 dollar Armani cravat, which I’m pretty sure is a necktie. It was a gift from
his brother-in-law. He gave it away to the Salvation Army. Information I’m sure the
President would prefer his brother-in-law did not have.
Laughter.
REPORTER
C.J., I’m curious about the President’s farm in Manchester. The property value
increased seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. What’s that due to?
C.J.
Secret Service improvements.
REPORTER
Can you do into detail please?
C.J.
The property now includes a helipad and the ability to run a global war from the
sun porch.
Laughter. Josh comes in and stands to the side, waiting for C.J. to finish.
C.J.
That’s all for now, folks. Later this afternoon we’ll do Deputy Chief of Staff
Joshua Lyman. [joins Josh and head out]
JOSH
Thanks for the promo.
C.J.
They really can’t get enough of you.
HALLWAY. They walk out.
JOSH
I got Katzenmoyer.
C.J.
He’s back?
JOSH
Along with O’Bannon and LeBrandt.
C.J.
You got three!
JOSH
Chris Wick’s waiting for me right now. I don’t know what his story is, but I’m not
that worried.
C.J.
You worried about Tillinghouse?
JOSH
I can’t get him without the Vice President. Leo’s got to lighten up on that.
C.J. and JOSH walk inside the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE where Donna finds Josh.
C.J.
Get Wick first. And then we’ll deal with it. [walks off]
DONNA
Josh.
JOSH
Yeah.
DONNA
Congressman Wick is waiting in the Mural Room.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
He’s been waiting twenty minutes.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
You have a legislative liaison meeting in fifteen minutes.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
And then the East Asia briefing.
JOSH
I know.
DONNA
All right. Well, then this entire conversation served only as a reminder.
JOSH
Actually, it only served as a colossal waste of time and energy. Keep up the good work.
Josh goes inside THE MURAL ROOM. CONGRESSMAN CHRIS WICK, a very young looking man,
and his staff are waiting.
JOSH
Congressman.
WICK
Dude!
The young Congressman shakes Josh’s hand, and then starts to introduce him to staff.
WICK
Uh, John...
JOSH
Right. [to staff] Guys, could you wait outside for a minute, please. The Congressman
and I want to talk about old times.
WICK
Go ahead.
JOSH
[watches as the staff leaves] Thanks. Thanks a lot. Could you close the door please?
[to Wick] Is that supposed to impress me, you have a staff?
WICK
Josh...
JOSH
I told the House minority whip he was crazy. No way is Chris Wick jumping the fence.
Do you have any idea how stupid this makes me look?
WICK
Uh, look. About that, dude.
JOSH
Shove it, dude. We’re not in a frat house anymore.
WICK
What the hell, man?
JOSH
Name for me please the weapons banned in this bill and why you feel they should be
legal.
WICK
Look, I realize I should have called...
JOSH
Let’s start here. Name for me please the weapons banned in this bill.
WICK
If you’d let me explain...
JOSH
You don’t have a clue.
WICK
No. That’s not true.
JOSH
Mac 90.
WICK
Listen...
JOSH
The PCR. NFR. Anything ring a bell?
WICK
My aides were supposed to...
JOSH
They’re both copycats of the AR 15 assault rifle that was banned two years ago.
It’s the exact same gun.
WICK
Calm down...
JOSH
It’s back. They just changed the grip. How ‘bout the Pat Maxi?
WICK
Semi-automatic, muzzle barrel...
JOSH
[yells] It’s a grenade launcher!
WICK
Yes, I’m trying to...
JOSH
You know, I realize as an adult not everyone shares my view of the world. And with
an issue as hot as gun control I’m prepared to accept a lot of different points of
view as being perfectly valid. But we can all get together on the grenade launcher,
right?
WICK
Josh...
JOSH
I put you in your seat. I got you elected to the House of Representatives.
WICK
Yeah, and now you guys think I’m on the leash. Look, I get taken for granted, Josh.
I’ve one photo op with the President. One. Me and sixteen other freshmen. That makes
me weak.
JOSH
You’re not serious.
WICK
I’ve been here over a year. Huh. Where’s the courtship? This isn’t ego.
A relationship with the White House is currency around here and I need some.
JOSH
You’re voting down a measure that would restrict the sale of deadly weapons because
nobody invited you to the cool kid’s table?
WICK
Got your attention.
JOSH
You know, I’m so sick of Congress I could vomit. [starts to leave but turns back]
What do you want?
WICK
A round of golf.
JOSH
President doesn’t play golf.
WICK
What does he play?
JOSH
Chess.
WICK
Over brandy. With the White House photographers and we’re fine.
JOSH
He’s going to kick your ass, you know.
WICK
Whatever. You know, I really don’t appreciate you calling...
JOSH
Chris, you’re a Congressman. You’ve gotta make that real. This time it was me in
the Mural Room. Trust me when I tell you, you do not wanna have this conversation
with the guy who works next door. [leaves and sees the staff waiting outside]
You guys take care. [walks away]
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. LEO’S OFFICE - DAY
Leo, C.J. and Mandy are admiring the gorgeous pearl choker Leo bought for his wife.
Toby is seated, and Sam walks in the door.
MANDY
Wow!
LEO
Wow is right.
C.J.
It is so beautiful.
SAM
Excellent choice, my friend.
LEO
Stop looking at me like that. You’re talking about Jenny.
SAM
[backpedaling] My point being only that it should flatter her neck in ways that
should please you.
C.J.
Can I try it on?
LEO
No.
MANDY
Can I rub it against my teeth?
LEO
No.
TOBY
Could we possibly talk about me?
C.J.
Are you saying I’m going to stretch it?
JOSH
[comes in] Leo, I got four out of five. I’m absolutely convinced we need the Vice
President to get Tillinghouse.
C.J.
We’re all agreed on that.
LEO
No.
JOSH
This needs a Texan.
LEO
I have a different idea.
JOSH
What?
LEO
I go to Richardson.
MANDY
You’ve already been through this with Richardson.
JOSH
The entire caucus. Let’s not get ‘em any more pissed off at us than they are already.
LEO
I’ll talk to Richardson alone.
JOSH
You have to do it quietly and right now.
LEO
[calls] Margaret!
JOSH
Call me as soon as you’ve got it. [leaves]
MARGARET
[enters] Yes sir?
LEO
I need to see Mark Richardson out of the office.
Margaret leaves.
SAM
You know, Toby. You could afford to buy one of those now if you want.
TOBY
There’s literally no one in the world that I don’t hate right now.
Everyone laughs except for Toby.
CUT TO: EXT. THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL - DAY
CONGRESSMAN RICHARDSON, an imposing African American, is walking with Leo near the
steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
RICHARDSON
Let me guess. Josh got Katzenmoyer and the rest of them back in the boat. You came
to me instead of Tillinghouse because you don’t wanna use Hoynes.
LEO
We need this one, Mark.
RICHARDSON
I’m voting no, Leo.
LEO
Mark, it’s all we could get right now and you know it.
RICHARDSON
You didn’t work hard enough.
LEO
We did.
RICHARDSON
What happened to the Tech DC 9 and the Tech 22? What happened to the Striker 12 and
the Street Sweeper?
LEO
We had to lose ‘em.
RICHARDSON
You never fought for ‘em.
LEO
We have to do this inch by inch. You know how this works.
RICHARDSON
No, I know how you guys work.
LEO
That is out of line, Congressman. Guns are number one on my list of priorities and
I’ve never moved the President off of that.
RICHARDSON
Keeping the White House strong is number one on your list of priorities.
LEO
If the White House isn’t strong, it doesn’t really matter what number two on my
list is. God, Mark. The bodies being wheeled into the emergency room are black.
These guns aren’t going to Scottsdale, Mark, they’re going to Detroit, they’re
going to Philadelphia. An entire generation of African American men are being eaten
alive by drugs and poverty.
RICHARDSON
Well, I’m encouraged to hear the White House has discovered there’s a drug problem
in this country. I mean your penetrating insight is matched only by the courage
displayed in the authorship of this bill.
LEO
Mark, for God sake...
RICHARDSON
Not the three-inch grip, but the two-inch grip. With the forty-gauge barrel and the
thirty round clip, not the twenty round clip. With a three-day wait to run a check
to see if you’re crazy. As if wanting the gun wasn’t a pretty good heads up in the
first place. No, this is for show. And I think it’s an unconscionable waste of the
taxpayer’s money to have it printed, signed and photocopied, to say nothing of
enforced. No, I want the guns, Leo. You write a law that can save some lives. I’ll
sign it. In the mean time, please don’t tell me how to be a leader of black men.
You look like an idiot. [walks away leaving Leo looking stunned]
CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S OFFICE - DAY
Mandy is reading the financial disclosures. Josh is standing behind his desk.
MANDY
Someone gave you a year’s supply of fruit?
JOSH
Yes.
MANDY
Why?
JOSH
There are people who like me.
MANDY
Why?
DONNA
[pokes her head in] It’s Leo.
JOSH
[picks up the phone] What happened? [listens, then groans]
MANDY
That’s it. He needs to talk to Hoynes. We’ll set up a meeting.
JOSH
Yeah Leo. We’re going to set up a meeting for you with the Vice President. [listens]
Good.
CUT TO: EXT. LEO’S HOUSE - NIGHT
TUESDAY NIGHT
Leo’s car pulls up to his house to find a taxi waiting.
CUT TO: INT. LEO’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Leo comes in and finds Jenny’s bags sitting by the door. He walks over to the dining
room and sees the dinner he ordered untouched on the table.
LEO
Jenny?
JENNY
[walks into the room wearing the choker] I’m still here.
LEO
What’s going on?
JENNY
Leo...
LEO
What’s going on?
JENNY
Honey, I’m so sorry you went to all this trouble.
LEO
It wasn’t any trouble.
JENNY
[sighs] I can’t do this anymore. This is crazy. I don’t want to live like this.
I just can’t.
LEO
I’m sorry about the anniversary. I just...
JENNY
It’s not the anniversary. It’s everything. It’s the whole thing.
LEO
This is the most important thing I’ll ever do, Jenny. I have to do it well.
JENNY
It’s not more important than your marriage.
LEO
[emphatically] It is more important than my marriage right now. These few years,
while I’m doing this, yes, it’s more important than my marriage. I... I didn’t
decide to do this myself, Jenny. There were many discussions...
JENNY
I think if you can find the time to...
LEO
I’m five votes down, Jenny! And I need to win. I met with the staff...
JENNY
You made the time.
LEO
I made the time tonight.
JENNY
You didn’t make the time tonight.
LEO
I hired a whole...
JENNY
Margaret phoned to confirm your nine o’clock meeting with the Vice President.
LEO
[beat] I was going to slip out for 45 minutes...
JENNY
Leo...
LEO
I was going to be right back.
JENNY
I can’t. Really.
LEO
I don’t suppose we could postpone this discussion until... It’s just the past
couple of days...
JENNY
I have to go now.
LEO
Okay.
JENNY
[puts on jacket] I’ll be at the Watergate.
LEO
Okay.
JENNY
And I’ll talk to you later.
LEO
[with a catch in his throat] You’ll call me?
JENNY
Yeah. [starts to pick up bags]
LEO
You... you want me to carry that to the cab?
JENNY
It’s okay. [opens door]
LEO
[almost in tears] Call me before you go to sleep.
JENNY
Okay.
Jenny shuts the door behind her, leaving Leo looking devastated.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. THE VICE PRESIDENT’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Hoynes is sitting in his office reading a newspaper. His secretary, JANEANE comes
to the door.
JANEANE
Excuse me sir, Leo McGarry’s here.
HOYNES
Send him in. [gets up and greets Leo as he walks in]
LEO
Good evening, Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
Come on in. Thanks, Janeane.
LEO
Thanks.
Janeane leaves.
HOYNES
What did you need to see me about?
LEO
Um... I came in to talk to you about 802. We lost five votes.
HOYNES
I know.
LEO
We got four of them back, but I was stupid with Richardson. And now it’s
Tillinghouse, so I wanted to talk to you about that and...
HOYNES
Leo, are you feeling okay? Sit down. Go on. Sit down. [They both sit.]
LEO
Jenny and I are splitting up and it just happened and I’m feeling a little, um...
HOYNES
[calls] Janeane!
Janeane appears at the door, waiting for instructions.
LEO
If I could just have a glass of water.
HOYNES
Janeane, could you get me a glass of ice water please. [to Leo] Leo, it’s going to
be fine. These things happen.
LEO
Yeah.
HOYNES
I mean, do you... you wanna talk about it at all?
Leo shakes his head in answer as Janeane returns with the water.
LEO
Thank you. [takes a large drink] Anyway...
HOYNES
I’ll see Tillinghouse.
LEO
[surprised] Yeah?
HOYNES
I’ll see him tomorrow morning.
LEO
You’ll deliver him?
HOYNES
It’s a done deal.
LEO
I don’t need to tell you we need this win.
HOYNES
I think we’re home.
LEO
Thanks, John. I want you to know the President and I appreciate it. [starts to leave]
HOYNES
Leo. Do you mind if I ask you a question?
LEO
What?
HOYNES
When was the last time you went to a meeting?
LEO
A.A.?
What meeting could I possibly go to?
HOYNES
Mine.
LEO
John, tell me you are not showing your face-
HOYNES
Leo, I have got my own meeting. Every week. The downstairs office here at the
O.E.O.B. at 11 p.m. There are nine of us three senators, two cabinet secretaries,
one federal judge and two agency directors. There’s an agent outside, the whole
thing looks like a card game.
LEO
Do I have enemies in that room?
HOYNES
All our people.
LEO
I had no idea.
HOYNES
Neither will anyone else. You should think about it.
Leo nods and gets up to leave.
HOYNES
Now, are you driving?
LEO
Uh. No, I’ve got my guy.
HOYNES
Good. Good evening. I’m sorry about Jenny.
LEO
Call me after Tillinghouse.
HOYNES
It’s in the bag.
LEO
Good night John.
HOYNES
Good night Leo.
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
WEDNESDAY MORNING
Josh leaves his office, where Mandy is waiting in ambush. They head for the Oval Office.
MANDY
Hi there.
JOSH
How you doing?
MANDY
Sarah Wissinger?
JOSH
Yes. A smoking jacket and a cigarette holder. Both declared items. I am clean as a whistle.
MANDY
You received these gifts on July 3rd.
JOSH
I’m sensing trouble, but I can’t quite...
MANDY
You and I didn’t break up until July 9th.
JOSH
Ah, there it was, right in front of my face.
MANDY
She was giving you presents on July 3rd?
JOSH
You knew I knew Sarah.
MANDY
I didn’t know she was giving you presents.
JOSH
They weren’t by way of saying “Thanks for sleeping with me” if that’s what you mean.
MANDY
[walks ahead of him into Oval Office] Don’t talk to me.
Mandy and Josh enter THE OVAL OFFICE, where Toby, Sam, and C.J. are waiting.
JOSH
Hey.
TOBY
What’s going on?
JOSH
Hoynes is having breakfast with Tillinghouse.
MANDY
Sarah Wissin-slut gave him the jacket on July 3rd.
JOSH
I really thought a nice by-product of not going out with you anymore would be that
you wouldn’t yell at me anymore.
MANDY
That was a bit unrealistic, wasn’t it?
JOSH
Where’s the President?
TOBY
Haven’t seen him.
Leo comes in from his office. Everyone turns to look at him.
C.J.
Leo, how’d it go?
LEO
What do you mean?
JOSH
Last night.
LEO
[realizes what they’re talking about and puts on a good face] Oh. Oh, great.
C.J.
She liked the choker?
LEO
Yeah.
JOSH
And the violinist?
LEO
Uh. You-You’re right. After a couple of minutes it’s strange having him there.
But, uh, you know um... [faking smile] She ate it up, so...
They all congratulate him. Then a pause.
TOBY
Where’s the President?
LEO
His back is pretty bad today. He canceled the morning. He’ll stay in bed and make
some calls. We should move this to my...
Leo stops as Bartlet enters from outside. He’s wearing jeans and a Notre Dame
sweatshirt and is looking slightly drugged.
BARTLET
Hey!
LEO
Mr. President. I thought you were staying in bed.
BARTLET
Oh, I feel fine.
LEO
Uh... Maybe you should get back to the residence.
BARTLET
Hmm?
LEO
I said, maybe you should get back to the residence. Maybe you should lie down.
BARTLET
Absolutely no need. I’m fine. What’s going on here?
SAM
Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Mr. President. Merely a perception issue
regarding Toby and the financial disclosure.
BARTLET
I like to... [mimes rolling sleeves] Roll up my sleeves and you know... [pause]
...get involved.
C.J.
Mr. President. Did you by any chance take your back pills?
BARTLET
I don’t mind telling you C.J. I was in a little pain there.
LEO
Which did you take, sir, the Vicadin or the Percocet?
BARTLET
I wasn’t supposed to take ‘em both?
C.J.
Okay. Mr. President, we’re going to have someone take you back to bed.
BARTLET
No no no. Sit sit sit.
All sit down. Bartlet sits between Toby and Sam.
BARTLET [cont.]
One of you’s got a problem and I’m here to help. You guys are like family. You’ve
always been there for me, always been loyal. Honest, hard working, good people,
and I love you all very much. I don’t say that often enough. So tell me what the
problem is, Toby. [puts his hand on Sam’s knee]
SAM
[surprised] I’m Sam, sir.
BARTLET
Sam, of course you are.
He puts his arm around Sam as they all watch incredulously.
TOBY
Sir. Sir... The situation basically is this. I arranged for a friend to testify
to Commerce on Internet stocks while simultaneously, but unrelated to that, bought
a technology issue which, partly due to my friend’s testimony, shot through the roof.
BARTLET
Toby. [pause] Toby. Toby. Toby. [pause] Toby’s a nice name, don’t you think?
TOBY
[to Leo] Could we possibly do this meeting at another time?
Leo starts to get up.
BARTLET
No, no, no, no. Please, Leo. I know my body. I mean, you know, my muscles are not,
you know, but my mind is sharp. I can focus. I’m focused. You all know that about me.
Here’s what I think we ought to do... [long pause] Was I just saying something?
LEO
[stands and calls] Mrs. Landingham!
MANDY
Look, I think we need to run through some options.
MRS. LANDINGHAM
[comes in] Yes, sir?
LEO
Get Charlie.
MANDY
Let’s start at the bottom.
SAM
What do you mean?
MANDY
There’s always resignation.
BARTLET
Hot damn! Now you’re talking.
TOBY
I think she meant me, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Ah.
LEO
Well of course Toby’s not going to resign. I think we’re making more of this than we...
SAM
I got it!
TOBY
I’ve got a lawyer from the White House Counsel’s office-
SAM
I got it!
MANDY
What?
SAM
Counsel’s office releases a statement through C.J. Using the strongest possible
language we make it very clear that there’s been no wrongdoing of any kind.
TOBY
Yes.
SAM
But to avoid even the appearance of impropriety, Toby has agreed to reduce his salary
for one year to one dollar, and immediately cash out his stock issue thereby relieving
the taxpayer of the burden.
Toby looks shocked.
BARTLET
Done.
TOBY
Wait.
LEO
Good, Sam.
SAM
Thank you.
TOBY
No, no, it’s not good. Actually, it stinks.
BARTLET
Toby, you’re a great writer, do you know that?
TOBY
Well, thank you very much sir.
BARTLET
Here, give me a hug.
TOBY
[looks pained] Leo!
BARTLET
Come on. Give us a hug. [hugs Toby] There you go.
CHARLIE
[walks in] Excuse me, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Charlie!
CHARLIE
Mr. President, I left you alone for two minutes.
BARTLET
Charlie’s a great name.
CHARLIE
Thank you. Sir, you have to go back to bed.
BARTLET
I’m going. I’m going. [gets up] Before I go, please let me just say this. [sighs]
I’m seriously thinking about getting a dog.
LEO
Well, feel better Mr. President.
Charlie leads Bartlet out as everyone grins after them.
BARTLET
Maybe an Irish setter, Charlie. What do you think?
CHARLIE
I think that’s great sir.
SAM
[to Toby] So, how do you feet there, big guy?
TOBY
[dryly] Like I just got screwed with my pants on.
SAM
Excellent.
CUT TO: INT. THE VICE PRESIDENT’S OFFICE - DAY
Hoynes is having breakfast with CONGRESSMAN TILLINGHOUSE, a Texan with a very
nasal accent.
TILLINGHOUSE
Honest to goodness, John, this isn’t a political maneuver.
HOYNES
I know.
TILLINGHOUSE
I’m voting my conscience.
HOYNES
I know.
TILLINGHOUSE
You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. Two hundred and forty million guns
out there. How’re you gonna get them back?
HOYNES
You can’t.
TILLINGHOUSE
Of course not. And as long as they’ve got a gun, I want my wife to have a gun, I
want my daughter to have a gun, and damn it, I want one too.
HOYNES
Makes perfect sense.
TILLINGHOUSE
You might wanna mention to Josh Lyman that Congressmen don’t appreciate being
bullied like ill-behaved school children.
HOYNES
Yes.
TILLINGHOUSE
Katzenmoyer, O’Bannon, LeBrandt, this new kid, Christopher Wick. These are grown men,
with pride and dignity. They can’t be manhandled.
HOYNES
They’re pretty pissed, are they?
TILLINGHOUSE
Behind closed doors they’re screaming bloody murder, and are talking about political
retribution.
HOYNES
I don’t blame ‘em.
TILLINGHOUSE
Reality is reality.
HOYNES
Yes. Which is why I’d like very much for you to do the following, Cal. I want you to
vote yes on the resolution.
TILLINGHOUSE
[surprised] John?
HOYNES
And you might want to mention this conversation to Representatives Katzenmoyer,
O’Bannon, LeBrandt, and Wick.
TILLINGHOUSE
[smiles] Why, John, you do seize the moment, don’t you?
HOYNES
You’ve got a roll call.
TILLINGHOUSE
Tell me something. What’s in it for me?
HOYNES
Right now?
TILLINGHOUSE
Yeah.
HOYNES
Nothing.
TILLINGHOUSE
Then why am I handing you a personal political victory?
HOYNES
Because I’m going to be President of the United States one day, and you’re not.
CUT TO: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
We see the night view of Washington, D.C., while various news reports are heard.
REPORTER 1 [V0]
The restrictions, while not considered sweeping, do include the Mini 9 and the
Rutger 14. Again, White House senior aides had hoped that this would serve as a
much-needed victory for the President, but it’s the Vice President who seems to be
receiving most of the credit from some Congressional Democrats...
REPORTER 2 [V0]
...were quick to praise Vice President John Hoynes for stepping in and securing the
one vote victory...
REPORTER 3 [V0]
Mark Richardson, leader of the Congressional black caucus, a man, I should add,
who’s seldom at a loss for words, had no comment tonight. None. You have to ask
yourself, is this an intentional snub to his old friend Jed Bartlet?
CUT TO: INT. JOSH’S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
Leo, Toby, Josh, C.J., Sam, Mandy and Donna are watching the telecasts.
MANDY
Unbelievable.
SAM
I don’t believe it.
MANDY
You loosen the ketchup bottle and he pops the top off.
SAM
And keeps the ketchup.
C.J.
Sorry, Leo. You saw this one coming through the Holland Tunnel.
LEO
We got what we deserved. It was hubris and we got what we deserved.
[gets up to leave] Night everyone.
Everyone says good night. Leo walks away, but turns back to Josh, who’s not
looking happy.
LEO
Listen. We won. [leaves]
TOBY
Where’s the President?
C.J.
He’s asleep.
TOBY
Wake him up.
Josh leaves.
C.J.
Toby.
TOBY
Wake him now.
C.J.
Let’s leave it till tomorrow, Toby. Let’s leave it till tomorrow.
C.J. fiddles with a Magic Eight Ball.
CUT TO: INT. THE VICE PRESIDENT’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Hoynes is sitting at his desk. Janeane comes to the door.
JANEANE
Sir. Uh, Josh Lyman is here. He was wondering if he could see you a moment.
HOYNES
Sure.
JOSH
[walks in] Evening Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
Josh. Nice victory.
JOSH
Are you talking about the bill or are you talking about my smoking jacket?
HOYNES
[laughs] I heard about that. No, I was talking about the bill.
JOSH
It’s a crappy law.
HOYNES
Nah.
JOSH
No, it is. I should know. I helped write it.
HOYNES
You did very well.
JOSH
I’d say it’s roughly the equivalent of fighting the war against tobacco by banning
certain color matchbook covers.
HOYNES
[laughs] Well, these things happen slowly.
JOSH
I’d say you did well, sir. In fact, you might be the only one who did. I just came
by to say congratulations.
JANEANE
[comes to the door] Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
Right, Janeane. I’m on my way. [gets up and puts on coat] Josh.
JOSH
Yes sir?
HOYNES
[walks to Josh and pats him on the shoulder] Welcome to the NFL.
Josh watches him leave.
CUT TO: INT. OLD EXECUTIVE OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT
Leo walks down a flight of stairs into a basement hallway of the O.E.O.B. There is
a Secret Service Agent standing by the door.
AGENT
Something I could help you with, Mr. McGarry?
LEO
[looks apprehensive] Yeah. I’m here for the card game.
The agent nods and opens the door.
LEO
Thank you.
Leo walks into the room, looks around nervously, and closes the door behind him.
FADE OUT.
THE END
* * *
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