Original Airdate (NBC): 19/APR/2005
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TRANSCRIPT:
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Guest star: Craig Robinson (Darryl), Kate Flannery (Meredith), Phyllis Smith (Phyllis), David Denman (Roy), Oscar Nunez (Oscar), Angela Kinsey (Angela), Brian Baumgartner (Kevin), Leslie David Baker (Stanley) , Patrice O'Neal (Lonny), Matt DeCaro (Jerry), Karly Rothenberg (Madge)
OPENING CREDITS (With that awesome Jay Ferguson music)
INT. THE OFFICE
(Michael enters and slaps Pam's desk with a newspaper)
Michael: (giggles) (to Jim): Hey, you ready?
(Jim pulls out a red duffle bag from beneath his desk, Michael shows his own bag)
Michael: Alright, alright, secret sign. Hey, Ryan.
(Camera pans to Ryan who holds up a plastic bag)
Michael: Very good. Excellent, excellent. (gives the camera a big smile as he heads to his office)
Dwight: Michael! (happily holds up his own duffle bag)
(Michael looks at the camera, without smile, sighs and goes into his office)
Michael: (VO) Today at lunchtime we're going to be playing the warehouse staff...
(Dwight sadly looks at his duffle bag)
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL
Michael: ...at a friendly little game of basketball. My idea.
CUT TO MICHAEL STANDING OUT SIDE THE WAREHOUSE BAY
Michael: (VO) Last time I was down there, I noticed they'd put up a couple of hoops, and I play basketball every weekend. So I thought, "This might be kinda fun."
CUT BACK TO MICHAEL'S OFFICE
Michael: And so I started messing around and...I'm sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans! So...you know, it's really just a good friendly game, a reason to get together.
CUT TO RECEPTION
Michael: (slaps the counter) Pam, Pam, thank you ma'am. Messages, please.
(Pam hands him some papers)
Dwight: Michael, can I talk to you, please? Privately? In your office?
CUT TO MICHAEL'S OFFICE
(Michael is resting his forehead in his hand on his desk)
Dwight: I think I should be on the team.
Michael: (without looking up) No. (clears throat and looks up) And that's not me being mean, Dwight. That is based on your past behavior.
Dwight: Oh, please.
Michael: (to camera) When I let him come to my pick-up game-
Dwight: I apologized for that.
Michael: (to Dwight) I vouched for you.
Dwight: Michael, I-
Michael: I vouched for you in front of Todd Packer, Dwight.
(Dwight concedes and picks up a spinning toy from Michael desk that starts playing some irritating music)
(Michael takes it away and puts it on another place on his desk, away from Dwight)
Michael: Alright, here's what I'm going to do. The had strikes and gives a flower. You are not going to play basketball. But I need somebody to come in and take over the holiday and weekend work calendar.
Dwight: I can handle that.
Michael: Good. Excellent, it'll be fun. Because corporate, uh, wants someone to be here on Saturday. And so we're going to have to have some people come in on the weekend, and I know nobody's gonna want to do it and I know everybody's gonna complain and bitch and I don't wanna have to deal with that.
Dwight: And that's why you have an assistant regional manager.
Michael: Yes it is. Assistant TO the regional manager.
Dwight: (to camera) Same thing.
Michael: No, it's not. It's lower, so...
Dwight: It's close.
(Dwight looks at camera, motions to Michael who is at a stale mate in the conversation)
CUT TO DWIGHT AND JIM'S DESK AREA
(Dwight has a huge dry erase board on his desk with a grid on it)
Dwight: So we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that, that should be...(flips tie over shoulder)...Jim.
Jim: God, this is so sad. This is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head. Phyllis, can you believe this?
Phyllis: Keep me out of it.
Pam: (VO) My fiancé has plans for us this Saturday.
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF PAM
Pam: So I really hope that Dwight doesn't make me work. Maybe I should sleep with him? (laughs) I'm kidding, kidding. Totally kidding. (looks a little scared at the thought)
CUT TO MICHAEL AND RYAN HEADING DOWN TO THE WAREHOUSE AREA
Michael: Alright, managing by walking around. (they head down the stairs) This is our warehouse. Or, as I like to call it, the whorehouse. But don't you call it that, I've earned the right.
Ryan: (looks at camera) Fine, don't worry about that.
Michael: And here we have "Mister Roger's Neighborhood." Come on over here. Hey, this is Ryan. He's temping upstairs.
Lonny: What's up?
Michael: And this is the foreman. Mista Ra-jahs.
Darryl: It's not my real name.
Michael: No, it's Darryl. Darryl is Mista Ra-jahs.
Ryan: Darryl Rogers?
Darryl: Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mister Rogers.
Michael: (laughs) And that is Lonny. And this is Roy. Roy dates Pam. You know, the uh, the best looking one upstairs.
Ryan: Yeah yeah.
Michael: You still getting it regular man? Huh? I mean, I can tell her it's part of the job.
(Roy laughs, a little embarrassed)
Michael: Rapport.
CUT TO JIM'S DESK
(The camera is at Jim's desk, but zoomed in on Pam)
Pam: (talking low on the phone) No, n-no, I know that the warranty's expired, but isn't it supposed to last longer than two years if it isn't defective? (Jim hears and looks toward Pam) Okay, fine, three years.
Jim: (VO) Pam gets a little down.
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF JIM
Jim: Her toaster oven broke. Um, which she got at her engagement shower. Um, for a wedding that still has yet to be set...and that was three years ago.
CUT BACK TO WAREHOUSE
Michael: So, um, one o'clock sharp and we've got a game on.
Darryl: We're loading at one.
Michael: Oh, I see, you're chickening out on me. You're bailing on me.
Darryl: No, we got a truck going out at 1:15. So, that's the busy time.
Michael: Oh, well, I'm glad that some time is a busy time because whenever I'm down here it doesn't seem too busy to me. (laughs at his own "insult")
(Everybody just stands there and looks at him)
Michael: Oh, oh. You can dish it out, but you can't take it. Okay, fine, have it your way. (starts clucking like a chicken)
(Starts dancing around like a chicken)
Darryl: Alright, fine, you know what? One o'clock.
Michael: Alright, see you at one. (heads back upstairs)
CUT TO OFFICE AREA
Michael: Are we ready for the game?
Everybody: (Half-heartedly) Yeah.
Michael: I- yeah, yeah. I know, grumble, grumble. But you would follow me to the ends of the earth, grumbling all the way. Like that, uh, dwarf from Lord of the Rings.
Dwight: Gimli.
Michael: Nerd. That is why you're not on the team.
Dwight: Just trying to be helpful.
Michael: Uh, (in a nerdy voice) "I'll help, Elwyn Dragonslayer, uh, ten points, power sword." (makes light saber sounds)
Jim: (starts laughing) That's him.
Michael: Okay, so, let's put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley of course.
Stanley: I'm sorry?
Michael: Um, what do you play? Center?
Stanley: Why "of course"?
Michael: Uh...
Stanley: What's that supposed to mean?
Michael: Uh, I don't know. I don't remember saying that.
Jim: Uh, I heard it.
Michael: Well, people hear a lot of things, man. Um...other starters...Me, of course. I heard it that time.
Phyllis: I'd like to play if it's just for fun. I played basketball in school.
Michael: (choosing to ignore Phyllis) Um...Yeah. Who else? We have Jim. We have Ryan, the new guy, right? Untested. Willing to prove himself now. A lot of passion, a lot of heart.
Ryan: But, I'm getting paid to skip lunch?
Michael: Yes.
Ryan: Okay.
Michael: Yes, this is business. The, uh, business of team building and morale boosting. Uh, who else?
Oscar: I can help out, if you need me.
Michael: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we box.
Kevin: I have a hoop in my driveway.
Michael: No.
Phyllis: I have a sports bra.
Michael: No, NO, ridiculous.
Dwight: Michael, look.
(Empties out his pencil cup, does a quick fake, then throws the cup at the trash can. Air ball, off by a mile.)
Dwight: Missed it...(Dwight looks at Michael, puts his index fingers close together as if to say "this much")
Michael: Close. Alright, uh...Me, Stan the man, Jim, Ryan and Dwight.
Dwight: (throws both fists in the air) Yesssss!
Michael: Sorry Phyllis.
Dwight: Can I be team captain?
Michael: No, I'm team captain.
Dwight: Can I be team manager?
Michael: No, I am the team manager. You can be assistant to the team manager.
Dwight: Assistant team manager?
Michael: No.
Dwight: (threateningly) Okay, we'll see who's working this weekend then.
Michael: Jim, you're in charge of the vacation schedule now.
Jim: (unhappy) Oh my God. (glances at the camera)
Michael: Threat neutralized.
CUT TO ACCOUNTING
(Oscar just finishes an apple, turns around quickly and tosses it perfectly into Meredith's trashcan)
(Meredith just looks at trash can)
CUT TO LATER TO ACCOUNTING
(Kevin pulls the last tissue out of the kleenex box, takes the empty box and tosses it perfectly into a trashcan behind Angela, nothing but net)
CUT TO STANLEY'S AREA
(Stanley crumples up a piece of paper, tosses it blindly at the trash can and doesn't even come close, he doesn't care)
CUT TO RECEPTION
(Pam is working, but then a piece of paper hits her in the head)
Michael: (OS) Off the backboard!
Pam: (irritated) Please don't throw garbage at me.
Michael: Oh, Pam with a zinger. Hey, Pam, how would you, like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some, ah, pigtails? A little, ah, halter top, you could tie that up. And you know, something a little, just, youthful, for a change. Just this once?
Pam: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiancé.
Jim: (OS) I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and...
Michael: Yeah, I bet you would. Just try not to be too GAY on the court.
(Jim give Michael a "wow, you just said that?" look, gives the camera the same look)
Michael: (covering) And by gay I mean, um, you know, not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad-at-sports way. I think that goes without saying.
Pam: Maybe Angela would cheerlead.
Michael: Ooh, yeah right.
Phyllis: I'll do it.
Michael: Oh, yuck, that's worse than you playing.
(Phyllis looks hurt, now it's Pam's turn to give Michael the "wow, you just said that?" look)
Michael: (covering again) 'Cause we need you as an alternate in case somebody gets hurt. That's where we need you. Blessed be those who sit and wait.
(Pam gets a confused look on her face, Phyllis is still standing there looking hurt)
Michael: You made it, suit up, you're on the team! (silence) Alright, cool! Very good. (starts walking to kitchen area)
CUT TO KITCHEN AREA
(Darryl is coming out)
Michael: Oh-oh. Oh-oh. A spy from the warehouse. Trying to figure out our plays, huh, man?
Darryl: Just getting a tea bag. (starts walking away)
Michael: (following) Oh ho, ooh, he's running. He's running. He's running, but he can't hide because you know what? One o'clock, you better bring your 'A' game. Because me, and my, posse guys are gonna be in your face. Right in your face!
Darryl: Why don't we make it more interesting? Loser buys dinner at Farley's.
Michael: Whoa-ho. I like the way you think. You know what, I'm gonna take that one step further. Loser, works, on Saturday.
(Stanley shakes his head in disbelief at Phyllis)
Darryl: No, that's not as much fun.
(Michael starts clucking like a chicken, Darryl just stares)
Darryl: (taking a step towards Michael) You know what?
Michael: (steps back) What?
Darryl: You're on.
Michael: Okay. Cool, you're on.
(Dwight walks up and starts doing a weak chicken impersonation, holds up hand to high five Michael)
Michael: (to Dwight) Don't screw this up. (goes into office)
(Dwight puts his hand down, glances at camera)
CUT TO WAREHOUSE
(Michael comes down the stairs dressed in his sports clothes and a knee brace, notices Darryl in having lunch in the back of a delivery truck)
Michael: (to camera) Classic beginner's mistake, eating before a game.
(Camera zooms in on Darryl, he could care less)
(Back to Michael, he starts doing his warm up exercises)
(Starts jumping with knees high, slapping them alternately)
(Lonny stares from the warehouse office)
(Michael continues his stretches, which now includes flailing his arms around oddly)
CUT TO OFFICE AREA
(Angela is searching a shelf for something)
Angela: Has anyone seen the first-aid kit?
(Without looking back, Dwight holds the kit up)
Angela: How many times have I told you? I'M the safety officer, not you.
(Without looking at Angela, Dwight puts the kit down)
CUT BACK TO WAREHOUSE
(The camera is zoomed in on the rim as Michael is attempting to make a slam dunk)
(He misses again)
(Finally, he succeeds)
(Camera pulls back as Lonny raises the rim higher)
(Michael shoots the ball, it misses the goal completely, walks away)
Jim: (VO) Basketball?
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF JIM
Jim: It was kind of my thing in high school. And I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to playing. You know, I think I'm gonna impress a few people in here.
CUT TO RECEPTION
Jim: (tying his shoelaces) You coming down?
Pam: Yeah, I'm just forwarding the phones.
Jim: You gonna wish me luck?
Pam: Yeah, you're gonna need it.
Jim: Whoa.
(Pam makes a shocked face)
Jim: Is that trash talk from Pam?
Pam: (laughing) I'm just saying, Roy is very competitive.
Jim: Oh.
Pam: And he wants to take the WaveRunners to the lake this Saturday so...
Jim: Well, I'm going to the outlet mall on Saturday, so if you wanna save big on brand names...
(Pam chuckles)
Jim: ...and Roy has to work, which he will, because I'm also competitive, you should feel free to come along.
Pam: Um, I think I'm gonna be up at the lake.
Jim: I think I'll see you at the mall. (pretends to think about it) Yeah.
(Pam starts laughing again)
CUT TO WAREHOUSE
(Michael is still stretching, Stanley is coming down the stairs)
Michael: Hey, there he is. Secret weapon!
(Jim is stretching while Pam is talking to him, Roy comes up to Pam)
(Roy and Pam say something to each other that I can't quite make out)
(Pam puts a hand on Roy's chest, Roy starts kissing her, Pam wraps her arms around Roy)
(Jim, still stretching and not looking to pleased, tries to avert his eyes)
Michael: (clapping) Alright, guys, come on, let's bring it in! Here we go!
(Everybody gathers, Dwight is standing behind Michael with a clear face guard on)
Michael: Okay, listen, this is just going to be a friendly game, right? We are all on the same team here, the Dunder Mifflin team. Of course, if you beat us, you're fired. That's a joke (starts laughing).
(Nobody else laughs)
Michael: Okay, let's do it.
Jim: (offers his had to Roy) Have a good game man.
Roy: (shakes it) Yeah, you too. Should be fun.
Michael: Alright, everybody stretch out a little bit. Stretch it. Full stretch. Ryan, you wanna stretch?
Ryan: I stretched before I came.
Michael: Okay.
CUT TO TEAM HUDDLE
Michael: Okay, Ryan, you have Darryl. I have Roy.
Jim: Really? I thought I'd take Roy.
Michael: Actually, I think Roy is their best player (Jim looks at the camera and shakes his head in disbelief) not Lonny. So, Dwight, you uh, have the East German gal.
(Dwight scoffs at his luck)
Michael: Uh, who else we got...(gets distracted by Darryl and Lonny's complicated handshake) Um..okay, alright, you guys.
Dwight: (taking off his shirt) Okay, we'll be skins...
(Everybody groans, a little disgusted)
Michael: Aw, come on Dwight.
Dwight: What? Shirts on or off?
Michael: ON. Just put it on.
Dwight: You sure?
Michael: Yes. Uh, Pam? You kind of have your foot in both camps, why don't you do the uh, jump ball okay?
Roy: Don't listen to him Pam. Trust me, tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car.
(Roy laughs with his fellow warehouse workers, Pam doesn't look to pleased)
(Michael gets the advantage and tips it to Stanley)
Michael: Stanley!
(Stanley gets it, starts dribbling awkwardly with one hand while the other hand is far behind him, keeping balance, you can tell he doesn't play basketball)
Michael: WHAT? You gotta be kidding me?!
(Roy runs past, having stolen the ball, and goes for a lay up)
Michael: (putting his hands on his knees and looking down) Oh...
CUT TO LATER IN THE GAME
Michael: Here we go!
(Lonny has the ball, shoots)
Michael: Who's on him? Somebody get him!
(Lonny makes it)
Teammates: Yeah!
Roy: (giving Lonny a low five) That's what I'm talking about.
CUT TO LATER ON IN THE GAME AGAIN
(The ball is loose and heading to the out, Jim hurries and saves it)
Michael: Yeah yeah yeah. Over here, over here.
(Jim saves it and passes it to Michael who is standing almost under the goal)
Michael: Here we go. Three! (Shoots and misses, Roy's team gets it) Let's go to the zone! We're going to zone!
(Michael and Dwight are rushing backwards)
Dwight: De-fense! (clap clap) (Michael joins in) De-fense! (clap clap)
Michael and Dwight: De-fense! De-fense!
(The cheering doesn't help as Darryl passes the ball to Roy who puts it in the basket)
Warehouse worker: Well done team.
Michael: Who's got Roy?
(Jim has the ball now and comes down court, he is being guarded by Roy, and they are conveniently in front of Pam)
(Jim dribbles for a while then does an impressive behind the back move around Roy for the basket)
Pam: Woo!
CUT TO LATER IN THE GAME
(Michael throws from what would be considered half court, of course it misses the goal)
Michael: Aw, come on! What is wrong with me today? (points at basket) Usually hit those.
(Shot of Stanley dribbling again, boy can't play)
(Ryan passes to Dwight who shoots and makes it)
(Claps his hands, looks to Michael for praise)
Michael: Dwight, I was open. Alright, let's go.
CUT TO DWIGHT TAKING A BREAK
(Dwight is trying to drink from a sports bottle, but his face mask prevents him from doing so. The drink ends up going into his mask, Dwight chokes)
CUT BACK TO GAME
(Michael is guarding Roy, Roy tries to go around Michael and bumps him slightly, very slightly)
Michael: Okay, foul. Charging. Charging. That's a foul.
Roy: (dumbfounded) Okay.
Michael: Okay, I'll take it.
CUT TO MICHAEL AT THE FREE THROW LINE
(Michael slowly bounces the ball, throws it up a couple of times)
(Places the ball on the line and looks at it)
(Finally, picks it up and throws it at the basket. It misses by a mile and a half.)
Michael: Okay (starts clapping hands) (VO) When I am playing hoops..
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL
Michael: ...all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away.
CUT TO SHOTS OF THE BASKETBALL GAME
Michael: (VO) It's gone, I'm in the zone.
(Shows Michael taking a shot, it bounces off the backboard)
Michael: What is wrong with me today?!
CUT BACK TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT
Michael: Who am I? Am I Michael Scott?
CUT BACK TO GAME
(Michael is guarding Roy by waving his hands wildly in front of him)
Michael: (VO) I don't know...
CUT BACK TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL
Michael: I might just be a basketball machine.
CUT BACK TO GAME
(Michael takes a shot that ends up being a pass for the other team)
Michael: (VO) What's Dunder Mifflin? I've never heard of it.
CUT BACK TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT
Michael: Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um...well, that's probably gonna happen, actually.
CUT BACK TO GAME
(Jim has the ball)
Michael: Jim! Jim! Jim, right here, Jim! Give me the ball! (turns his head) Ryan, cut!
(The ball flies past Michael and hits some boxes)
Michael: Whoa!
Jim: (looks around) My bad.
(Roy now has the ball, he passes to Darryl who makes the shot)
Darryl: (gives Lonny high fives) Here we go. Here we go. (Darryl and Lonny start doing a victory dance) Here we go.
Lonny: Where you at? Where you at? You over there? I'm over there. (still dancing)
(Michael is fascinated, watching the whole thing, he even slowly starts to do the dance himself)
(Lonny and Darryl are done and start walking to the other end of the court)
Michael: (as they pass) That is cool. Is that like the Robot? (They ignore him)
CUT TO ANOTHER POINT IN THE GAME
(Ryan takes a shot and makes it)
Michael: Nice! Come here! (gives Ryan a chest bump and tries to initiate the Lonny/Darryl dance)
Ryan: Can we just do one? That's cool, that's fine.
Darryl: You have one more free throw shoot. Come on.
(Michael is doing the dance all by himself)
Roy: Alright, let's go.
CUT TO LATER IN THE GAME
(Dwight is forcefully taking the ball from Madge)
Warehouse worker: Watch your back Madge.
Madge: Hey! Come on man!
Michael: Come on! Hey, Dwight. Dwight!
(Dwight takes the ball down, unguarded, and makes the lay up)
Dwight: Yeah! (points to Madge) In your face!
Madge: Yeah, like that counts.
Michael: You know what? Dwight, Dwight...
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL
Michael: Football is like rock and roll, it's just bam-bam-boo...And basketball is like jazz, you know?
CUT BACK TO GAME
(Michael is attempting another shot from half court, it misses and knocks down some boxes on the wall)
Michael: (VO) You're kind of...Dupee-doo, dupee-do. It's all downbeat, it's in the pocket, it's like...
CUT BACK TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT
Michael: (singing) Dupee-do, dupee-do, dapee-dah...
CUT BACK TO GAME
(Jim just passed it in to Michael)
(Michael starts dribbling and singing the Harlem Globetrotters theme song)
(He goes down on one knee, still dribbling and singing)
Michael: Harlem Globetrotter...(sings some more)
(Roy, impatient, comes up and steals the ball, and makes the lay up)
(Roy runs back down court)
Roy: (mimicking Michael's singing) Du-du-du-du-dupee-do. Your ball.
Michael: Alright, time, time out. Come on, sales, over here. Bring it in! Come on!
(Everybody huddles up)
Michael: What's going on? What's going on? You're playing like a bunch of girls.
Jim: (out of breath) You know what? Let me take Roy.
Michael: Alright, switch. Take it up a notch, come on.
CUT TO GAME
(Jim is passed the ball, he takes it to the hoop, easily beating Roy and makes the lay up)
(Jim runs back down court, giving Pam a nod and smile along the way)
(Pam smiles and I believe, checks Jim out)
CUT TO ANOTHER POINT IN THE GAME
(Jim is trying to guard Roy, they are both pushing each other, Roy's elbow flies out and hits Jim in the face)
(Jim turns around quickly and holds his mouth)
Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Foul! Naked aggression!
(Jim finally turns back around and his lip is bleeding)
Michael: Oh, that is...You all right Jim? Suck it up.
(Pam looks concerned)
CUT BACK TO THE GAME
(Jim has the ball, Roy is guarding him, he pushes off against Roy and makes the shot)
Michael: Ouch! Oh, how much does it hurt? How much does it hurt?
(Roy comes down the court with the ball, Jim steals it and makes another basket)
(Roy catches up, gets the ball, and gets a look of realization that he knows what Jim is up to, meanwhile, Pam is smiling at Jim)
CUT TO ANOTHER POINT IN THE GAME
(Jim has the ball, Roy is guarding him)
(Jim turns around forcefully pushing Roy to the ground, and makes a shot)
Michael: Yes!
(Roy gets up)
Roy: What the hell man?
Jim: Take it easy.
Roy: No, you take it easy.
CUT BACK TO THE GAME
(Darryl has the ball and takes a shot)
Michael: Watch the long passes, you guys!
(The shot goes in)
CUT TO ANOTHER POINT IN THE GAME
(Ryan has the ball, Dwight steals it and takes the shot)
Ryan: Same team Dwight.
Michael: Dwight!
(The shot goes in)
Dwight: Yes!
CUT TO YET ANOTHER POINT OF THE GAME
(Phyllis takes the shot and makes it)
Michael: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! (starts doing pelvic thrusts) In, your, face!
CUT TO THE BENCH WHERE THE REST OF THE STAFF IS SITTING
Michael: Angela, what's the score?
Angela: You're ahead.
Michael: Yeah, baby, here we go!
(Jim has the ball)
Michael: Jim! Jim! Right here! (runs into the elbow of the guy guarding him) Ow! God! Hold it!
Worker: I'm sorry.
Michael: (holding his nose) Foul! Foul!
Worker: I'm sorry. You all right?
Michael: Oh, that hurts.
Worker: Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Michael: What's your problem man? Gah, just clocking me for no reason?
Darryl: Take your shot man!
Michael: No, no, no, no. That was a flagrant, personal, intentional foul. Right there.
Worker: No it wasn't.
Michael: (in a mocking voice) Yes, it was. You know what, I'm just being fair.
Worker: Oh, really? No, I just put my arm up-
Michael: Game over. Game over. That is it! I'm sorry, you know? I hate to do it this way but, you know, that's just...we're having a friendly game. It's a shame. This is a damn shame, but we're like a family here and that just, that won't fly.
Angela: This is a cold pack-
Dwight: Here, gimme that. You have to break the interior bag.
(Dwight gives the bag a squeeze which causes it to explode pellets everywhere)
Michael: Thanks Dwight.
Lonny: Wait, what does that mean? What is it, a tie? What's going on?
Michael: Well, let's just say whoever was ahead won.
Darryl: That was you.
Michael: It was us? Really? I didn't, I didn't know. Great, I mean, I guess you guys are working Saturday. Your face.
Roy: No no no, I'm not coming in on Saturday. (Steps to Michael)
Darryl: (steps up to Michael as well) Yeah, this isn't happening.
Michael: (a little intimidated) Um...well, you guys, you know, I'm the boss so...
Lonny: (crowding in on Michael as well) So what's that? We're coming in on Monday, right?
Michael: (really intimidated now and avoiding eye contact) Hey, hey...
Lonny: Monday?
Michael: (trying to laugh it off as the workers tower above him) You guys believed me? come on. Dogs, you know, you should know me better than that. No, oh, do you think that would've been good for morale? No. No. No. Exactly, no. I'm embarrassed it was even that close though. So...nah, of course, we're coming in Saturday.
(Jim gives up and turns around in disbelief)
Michael: Good game. Word.
(Everybody leaves. Kevin starts shooting the ball, Jim and Ryan rebound for him)
(He makes four swishes in a row)
CUT TO MEN'S BATHROOM
(Ryan and Stanley are trying their best to wash themselves off with paper towels and hand soap)
CUT TO RECEPTION
(Jim is slouched in the chair, tired)
Jim: (talking to Pam)...so I talked to the scout, it looks good.
Pam: (amused) Mmm hmm.
(Roy enters)
Jim: I didn't sign anything.
Roy: Hey baby.
Pam: Hey.
Roy: (to Jim) Look at Larry Bird. Larry Legend.
Pam: (joining Roy) Yeah, he's, uh, pretty good, huh?
(Roy and Pam start to leave)
(Jim looks at camera and smiles)
Pam: (in the distant to Roy) Let's get you into a tub.
Roy: Yeah? Let's get YOU into a tub.
(Pam giggles, Jim's smile fades)
Michael: (comes out of his office with tissue in his nose) Hey, what a game, huh? What a game.
Oscar: What time do we have to come in?
Michael: Come on. Let's not be gloomy here man. we're all in this together. We're a team.
(Camera pans the office, nobody is smiling)
Michael: You know what? Screw corporate, nobody's coming in tomorrow. You have the day off.
(People start smiling)
Michael: Like coming in an extra day is gonna prevent us from being downsized. Have a good weekend.
(Everybody's smiles disappear)
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF MICHAEL
Michael: The great thing about sports is that it is all about character. And you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win. But we did because we were ahead.
THE END
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